The HR Team Values Your Mental Health — Also You Could Get Laid Off At Any Moment

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cept for Sales. For some reason those guys are getting a pass.</p><p id="b723">Good mental health is vitally connected to our ability to do our jobs. Also, if you’re in Marketing, the word is that 40% of you don’t have those jobs anymore. Todd just told us.</p><p id="acb8">What’s important is finding some time in your day to disconnect, free your mind, unplug. While you’re unplugged, remember that we will need your computer back if you are let go. You are responsible for wiping all of the files off of the hard drive — it’s a real pain if we have to do it ourselves.</p><p id="2b4b">Taking a walk or moving your body is a terrific way to boost your mood. We will be having twice-weekly lunchtime walks around the perimeter of the office for anyone who is still employed. If you’ve been laid off while reading this email, pacing your apartment could be a form of cardio. So that’s something.</p><p id="5801">Okay, it turns out that Todd has been laid off. Oof.</p><p id="7b9a">Try to get a full night of restful sleep to restore your body and mind. Seven to eight hours is recommended. Humans need that time to properly recharge so they can bring their reinvigorated, creative selves to work. Side note, later this week there will be a training on a new AI tool that will displace most of the Engineering team.</p><p id="9abf">Periodically disengage from social media for peace of mind. Don’t endlessly scroll TikTok, Instagram,

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or even LinkedIn. Everybody is getting laid off according to LinkedIn — even people at LinkedIn. Maybe just don’t think about it. That’s our strategy.</p><p id="25c8">Maintain a healthy diet. Food and mood are inexorably linked. By the way, free morning fruit and bagels have been discontinued. And, the espresso machine has been sold. If you have concerns, the CEO is returning from Montauk for two days in the office in late June before he goes to his other summer home in Sardinia. Maybe you can mention it to him.</p><p id="7de3">Alright, we’ve just gotten the news that the HR team is being laid off. So I guess just do whatever with your computers. Does anyone have a Xanax?</p><p id="54ce">Sincerely,</p><p id="3188">The HR team</p><p id="c829"><b><i>More from Nicole Beckley:</i></b></p><div id="e319" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/my-life-is-so-much-better-now-that-i-am-legally-a-corporation-52d6b92b345d"> <div> <div> <h2>My Life Is So Much Better Now That I Am Legally A Corporation</h2> <div><h3>It’s the only way to live.</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/0*GVxdOsN_rjrbYmSe)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div></article></body>

Some of you might be getting a lot of days off, if you think about it.

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels

Dear Employees,

As valued members of this company, the HR team wants to remind you that nothing is more important than your mental health. Take some time, slow down, relax. Also, we are expecting a series of layoffs that could happen at any time.

Studies have shown that stress and anxiety can impair your performance at work, and we want you to know that we are here for you. Side note, the layoffs actually may be happening this week. Or next. Or the week after. It sort of depends on how this meeting with Todd goes.

In our annual survey you told us that having one extra personal day off each year would make a big difference, and we listened. However, the executive team may ask for that day back — depending on if they let you go or not. Some of you might be getting a lot of days off, if you think about it. It’s going to be different for every department, except for Sales. For some reason those guys are getting a pass.

Good mental health is vitally connected to our ability to do our jobs. Also, if you’re in Marketing, the word is that 40% of you don’t have those jobs anymore. Todd just told us.

What’s important is finding some time in your day to disconnect, free your mind, unplug. While you’re unplugged, remember that we will need your computer back if you are let go. You are responsible for wiping all of the files off of the hard drive — it’s a real pain if we have to do it ourselves.

Taking a walk or moving your body is a terrific way to boost your mood. We will be having twice-weekly lunchtime walks around the perimeter of the office for anyone who is still employed. If you’ve been laid off while reading this email, pacing your apartment could be a form of cardio. So that’s something.

Okay, it turns out that Todd has been laid off. Oof.

Try to get a full night of restful sleep to restore your body and mind. Seven to eight hours is recommended. Humans need that time to properly recharge so they can bring their reinvigorated, creative selves to work. Side note, later this week there will be a training on a new AI tool that will displace most of the Engineering team.

Periodically disengage from social media for peace of mind. Don’t endlessly scroll TikTok, Instagram, or even LinkedIn. Everybody is getting laid off according to LinkedIn — even people at LinkedIn. Maybe just don’t think about it. That’s our strategy.

Maintain a healthy diet. Food and mood are inexorably linked. By the way, free morning fruit and bagels have been discontinued. And, the espresso machine has been sold. If you have concerns, the CEO is returning from Montauk for two days in the office in late June before he goes to his other summer home in Sardinia. Maybe you can mention it to him.

Alright, we’ve just gotten the news that the HR team is being laid off. So I guess just do whatever with your computers. Does anyone have a Xanax?

Sincerely,

The HR team

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