The Hard Truth about Healthy Relationships
The unease you feel is a green flag.
It’s hard to think of a couple with a healthy relationship. The toxic ones are often getting our attention.
Since many of us got used to the drama, we think healthy relationships aren’t what we want. But even people in peaceful, loving unions sometimes feel uncomfortable in this situation.
Like red flags, green flags won’t always feel comfortable.
It’s a rift between what you’ve gotten used to and what your reality is right now. Healthy couples have learned to accept the odd feeling of peace.
It’s not guaranteed.
I’ve heard this so many times. “I know someone for years, but they feel like a stranger. Yet, someone I’ve spoken to for 15 minutes feels like my soulmate.”
Nothing in life has a guarantee. You can love every partner you’ve ever had with electrifying intensity. Despite that, you break up after time passes.
It’s like consistent, intelligent work trumping talent.
Healthy relationships need maintenance. When you first feel distant or unsatisfied, it’s essential to reconnect.
Emotional time together is different for every couple. The first thought is to talk, yet this can feel inconvenient. A slow-burn way to reconnect is to sit together and let moments happen naturally.
Compatibility and attraction don’t make conversations any easier in healthy relationships. It’s all about partners’ efforts to stay on the same page.
It’s not 100% peaceful.
I thought if you didn’t fight, you’d feel at peace. That’s not always true. Sometimes, you’re waiting for a shoe to drop, or you’re bored.
Many distrust the quiet of healthy relationships. You settle into a routine where nothing new happens. Instead of enjoying the calm, you think something is missing.
The partners in healthy unions apply balance. They learn how to split regular life with novel experiences.
They won’t check phones or interview friends because they have fears about cheating. They will instead ask questions about each other lives to quiet fears. They also get into the habit of rehashing their day to reduce boredom.
A healthy relationship isn’t the most exciting by usual definitions. It’s one where you work to ensure your partner’s emotional needs get met.
It’s not impressive
It’s two people getting by with the challenges life throws at them. Most partners resent each other because of unmet needs. People in healthy relationships manage the expectations they set.
Significant moments, like cheating, are not the only ones to break trust. It starts small, with partners not living up to their words and promises.
Of course, your partner cannot stop life events from changing their plans. But you can let your partner know what you can no longer provide. Healthy relationships don’t have superhumans.
Instead, it’s two people being honest. They comfort each other as they accept changes and make the best of unique plans.
“We” is the primary thought perspective. When plans change, it’s critical to see it as a collective loss. So, the solution doesn’t appear like blame but like a mutually beneficial fix.
It’s on you to step up.
People assume they are in tune with their partner because it’s a healthy relationship. You think you’ll sense the emotional changes in your person. But this isn’t so. Everyone copes in different ways, and many have learned to wear masks in situations.
Speaking up for yourself is necessary to feel heard in the union.
And timing is also essential because you want to be mindful of the other person’s emotional state.
So, healthy relationships are still complicated. But the partners take turns listening and sharing.
Thank you for reading this post.
© Annie Wegner 2022-Present.
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