The Frustration of Men and The Rise of Incels is Because…

… men simply don’t understand women. At least, not in the sense of what attracts women. A video I saw inspired me to write this, which is the video below of a few guys talking with a panel of women.

If you listen to it, however politically incorrect it may be, there was a point in it. It was saying that women respect men who have certain qualities such as leadership, dominance, blah, blah blah. The problem is, a lot of men don’t understand this. And the following statement may be offensive to some, but there may be a difference between equality and having equal rights. Yes, women should have equal rights. When it comes to equality, at least in a relationship dynamic, that’s not necessarily what women respect.

Let me explain. Ladies, do you like submissive men? Do you like passive men? Granted, some might, but it seems that a large majority of women, fortunately or unfortunately, are simply not into that. This is because some women like to rest in their femininity. And, as Andrew Tate once said, women f men they respect! In fact, given the choice between a nice guy who they “like” (as a person) and a kind of a jerk off who they respect, they might at least sleep with the latter. It is what it is!

So when it comes to equality, legally speaking, it’s all good! But romantically speaking, however… as hypergamy dictates, many women may want to want to “date up” and deal with a man who can be a leader, so equality in that sense (going 50/50 all the time, asking her what she wants to do, where she wants to go on a date, etc.) isn’t necessarily what’s attractive to a lot of women.

So the problem is, not only do men not understand this or understand women in general, but it seems like a lot of women don’t even understand women as well! This isn’t to be insulting, it’s just that a lot of what turns women on and what they respond to, they may not be able to put it in words or “put their finger on it”, so to speak. They just know “it” when they see it or feel it. Mind you, I said it seems like a lot of women don’t understand women, key words being “seems” and “a lot of”, meaning that such isn’t the case for all women. I have been some female dating coaches who post things on YouTube and who seem to articulate fairly well the kind of things that women respond to, which one might say, ironically, corresponds to some of the same things that some men have been saying.

The problem is, a lot of men have been raised by single mothers, who meant well and did their best, but raised them to be good citizens. They’ll tell them to be nice to women, to treat them like a lady, etc. That’s all well and good, but that isn’t what necessarily turns women on either. And so a lot of men are lost because they really don’t understand the primal dynamics of male and female attraction and haven’t been properly educated on the matter. And then people wonder why so many young men are turning to strong men like Andrew Tate for advice and wisdom.

Yet, even when people say that it’s all about masculinity and that women are attracted to men who show dominance, alpha traits, confidence, and all that stuff, that still may not explain it all in depth enough to men who want to know exactly what it is that women respond to.

It’s also that men and women often speak different languages in the sense that men tend to operate more in logic whereas women tend to operate more in emotion. So what this means is that a lot of men want a step-by-step guide and process to “what works”, whereas women may not be able or willing to put it into words that way because, for women, it’s more of a feeling that they probably can’t explain and it’s like they “just know.” Sort of like the elusive idea of chemistry. Some women probably can’t explain why they have chemistry with some men, but don’t have chemistry with other men who may look good on paper.

But men don’t like to hear that kind of elusive stuff. They want to know that there is a system, a process, a hack, so to speak, in order to BUILD chemistry!

Fortunately or unfortunately, there may actually be things that can be done to build chemistry and to build attraction, even if women don’t want to hear that such can be figured out. So of course that might explain where all of the so-called dating coaches and gurus online come in who try to tell men who are lost how to act, how to behave, and how to think in order to actually attract women, not just be a nice guy and a good citizen. And I gotta tell you, there’s a market for it.

Men can start by reading the book by Mark Manson below. :)

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So the brutal honesty that some women may not want to hear is this: men want to know what works. Telling men to just be themselves, be honest, be kind and polite to women, etc., that’s all well and good, but if men still find themselves only in the friend zone, at best, by doing those things, ultimately, they aren’t going to be satisfied. As much as the advice may tell them how to be a good human being, if it’s not telling them how to be an attractive good human being, they’re probably not trying to hear it. In a way it’s understandable, because if you were to go to a store and you’re looking for athletic shoes, you may not want to hear someone trying to sell you Crocs.

Make no mistake, I believe that people should strive to be decent human beings. But I also understand that men want to know how to be attractive as well and, since it seems that some not-so-good men have the traits that women are attracted to (hence the “women like bad boys” thing andso many women apparently dealing with trauma from past relationships), apparently, being a good human being and a good citizen isn’t enough or even necessary to be attractive to women.

In conclusion, I think that the frustration that a lot of men feel is that they simply don’t understand women and what actually attracts women because all of the advice that they have been given have been simply on how to be decent human beings, which may land them in the friend zone, at best, but in a lot of ways still fall short when it comes to finding non-platonic love and companionship from women. For a woman to attract a man seems to be fairly simple in comparison. A lot of men don’t have too big of a laundry list of what women need to do or be in order to attract them. But even with the laundry lists that women have concerning men, often rooted in superficial things, a lot of men may still not be seen as attractive to those women or able to keep those women loyal if they don’t have certain qualities. And not knowing exactly what those qualities are and how to cultivate them is probably what frustrates many men and contributes to the rise of incels in society today.

Thank you for reading and for all of the support!