The Five Main Ways Men Ruin Anal Sex for Women
Anal sex can be amazing, but only when it’s done right
In studies where women are asked if they had an orgasm the last time they had sex, the women who had anal sex typically report having had the most orgasms, with the female orgasm rate for anal sex being consistently over 90 percent.
This is close to double the orgasm rate for even women who report having received oral sex, and only women who typically use toys during sexual activity get even close to that 90 percent figure, but it is still a good distance away, and toys are supposed to be the Queen’s for the female orgasm.
However, the high orgasm return from anal sex in women is not per se because of the anal sex, it is because of everything that comes with anal sex, with the biggest factor perhaps being the amount of mutual trust needed to have in a mutually pleasurable way.
This brings me to how so many men so often ruin anal sex for women, with large numbers of women put off anal sex due to bad experiences with the men they tried to have it with. Here are the five main ways men typically ruin anal sex for women.
They try to penetrate women’s anuses without any preparation or efforts to loosen them up beforehand
If you have never had anal sex before, it is imperative that you never stick anything bigger than a finger up your bum. It is also imperative that if you know a person has never had anal sex, you do not try to stick a penis of any size up their bum.
However, a lot of people, especially young people, don’t fully understand this because they haven’t been taught it and the outcome is typically a very painful one — most often for the woman.
As such, this is normally how it goes, the boyfriend having seen lots of porn has been going on for ages about how he wants to try anal sex, the girl then while drunk one night relents and tells him he’s allowed to try, he then, after much effort, manages to force his penis up there. She screams under the excruciating pain, and as such he immediately has to take it out.
This was my first experience with anal sex. I am not alone in this experience, a lot of women have similar first experiences, some even after they scream in pain allow their partners to continue, assuming the pain will go away. It doesn’t and the results are normally devastating for their anuses.
I have a friend who can tell such a story. Another friend of mine said her boyfriend even ejaculated in her bum, and she had to rush to the toilet because she could feel it coming out afterwards. He laughed, that was the last time he ever got to go near her anus.
In fact, in every example like this that I have ever come across, the girl never lets the guy go near her anus again — rightly so. As such, the biggest way guys ruin anal sex for women is by persuading them to let them push their penises up their unprepared bum holes.
Note: if a person has never received anal sex before, before even considering sticking a penis up there, at the bare minimum what is required is 6 to 8 weeks at least of preparation of consistently using small butt plugs, gradually building to larger ones.
They attempt to make a dry entry — and with more than a finger
Not only do a lot of guys typically try to penetrate women’s anuses without any preparation, but they also typically try to do so dry. I cannot stress enough how stupid this is, there are no more fearful words in this world than “I’m going to enter your anus dry.” Even if done with a finger it hurts, so with something bigger, you know you’re opening up a world of pain.
Here is why, the anus has no natural lubrication, and the sphincter muscles do not like having things pushed up against them, they like pushing things out. As such, they will resist entry to anything and everything. Add all this together, so no natural lubrication to muscles that want to push things out to no water-based lubrication, and what you get is extremely painful consequences.
Even if you have prepared the anus perfectly in every other way, if you do not use a lot of water-based lube, the experience will be a particularly painful one. This is why one of the keys to anal sex is remembering this one phrase, “Even when you think you are using enough lube, use more.”
Unfortunately, a lot of guys don’t get this, as such, many women can recount such painful dry entry experiences, many of my friends included, and as such are put off anal sex.
They are afraid of poo
If the person receiving has not used an anal douche prior to anal sex, then there is a 50–50 chance that some poo will come out — and that’s a lowball estimate. Even if an anal douche has been used, there is still a chance that there will be a little bit of a poop-based mess. This is why a popular motto for anal sex is, “Sometimes, shit just happens.”
Don’t get me wrong, when you get into the swing of it, and you get properly used to having it, with proper preparation you can avoid it most of the time, but even the most experienced still have to face down the anal sex motto that “Sometimes, shit just happens.”
One of the ways guys ruin anal sex for women is they make their partners feel dirty and shame them when a little bit of poo comes out. A friend of mine had such an experience, rather than the guy she was with just shrugging it off like nothing had happened, he demanded that she go clean herself right away and accused her of not having cleaned herself down there properly beforehand.
That guy never got to have anal sex again with her, and rightly so, he didn’t deserve it. Also, she broke up with him soon after and rightly so. But she was scarred by the experience and didn’t have anal sex again with anyone for a long time.
Many women can recount similar experiences, and as such, one of the ways many men ruin anal sex for women is that they can’t deal with the fact that when it comes to anal sex, sometimes, shit just happens. Because of that, many women get mentally scarred from anal sex and so choose not to have it again.
They thrust too hard
In porn, the male porn star uses his larger-than-life penis to unleash hell on the female porn star’s anus. However, what is not seen in porn is that before this, the female porn star has to do a hell of a lot of preparation to loosen herself up down there to be able to take that hell from that larger-than-life penis.
Think about that for a moment, female porn stars can only handle that level of intense anal penetration after a lot, and I mean a lot of preparation. This is despite the fact that they are extremely experienced and knowledgeable in this type of sex.
For a person who is not extremely experienced and knowledgeable in this type of sex, even if all the preparation beforehand has been taken and done correctly, even if substantial amounts of water-based lube has been used, very few women will be able to handle that kind of intense anal thrusting — even from a small penis.
Unfortunately, there are too many guys who don’t understand this, as such, they thrust too hard and tear women’s anuses, sometimes even going so far as creating a bloody mess. I can recount such a story from a friend of mine.
As such, one of the reasons a lot of men ruin anal sex for women is they thrust far too hard and literally damage women’s anuses, often putting them off anal sex for good.
They make it all about them
David Graham in a post of his wrote that “Good sex is when two people f**k each other, bad sex is when one person f**ks the other.” Before having anal sex, I think there are a lot of guys who “forget” this and so end up going down the path of the latter rather than the former. It is like some seem to assume that because it’s anal sex, it’s all about them.
It’s not, never is, and never will be.
Anal sex when done right is immensely pleasurable for the person on the receiving end — whether that person is male or female. However, it can only be pleasurable for the person on the receiving end if the person doing the penetrating understands that the experience is supposed to be a mutually pleasurable one, and knows how to make it a mutually pleasurable one — and more importantly, a non-painful one.
Many men ruin anal sex for women because for whatever reason they do not seem to grasp this, and as such make it all about themselves at the expense of the person they are penetrating. Because doing this normally leads to a non-pleasurable experience for the person being penetrated, inevitably, it turns a lot of women off anal sex.
Final words
There is no escaping the fact that when done right anal sex is an extraordinarily intimate and pleasurable type of sex, the sheer amount of trust alone needed to do it safely makes it a highly enjoyable experience.
But a lot of people — mostly women — lose out on the chance to gain that experience mainly because when done wrong, anal sex is an extraordinarily painful and damaging type of sex.
The majority of men get this and so do it right, too many still don’t and women’s anuses are paying the price. That means if you are a man, and you wish to stick your penis up someone’s anus, make damn certain you fully understand how to make it a mutually pleasurable, safe and nonpainful experience for the person you will be penetrating.
If you don’t, no more anal sex for you is the most likely outcome.
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