The First Three Dates: How to Spot a Cheater
Look Out For These 7 Warning Signs
The dating industry is witnessing a boom. Millions of people on thousands of dating apps; swiping left-right to the countless options that appear before them — it’s the perfect time to be dating.
When options are more and time is less, it’s vital to filter out the unsuitable dates as quickly as possible.
Nobody wants to waste time on a cheater. But cheaters don’t walk around with a badge — so how can you ascertain your date is likely to cheat on you in the future, in just the first three dates?
Three dates might seem less but are enough to give you red flags about whether your date is already a cheater or a potential cheater.
Here are the red flags:
Beware Of The “Cheaters Charm”
Cheaters Charm — it’s a set of skills they have developed over the years. They are crafty with words — they know all the right things to say.
They know what things to do that will appeal to you. They present the classiest and most refined version of themselves on a date — too good to be true.
Everyone admires a charming and self-assured individual, but a genuine person is far more likely to be uneasy and less polished around you, especially when it comes to males.
No one is perfect, but if your dates appear to be the epitome of perfection, they are likely putting on their Cheaters Charm.
Use Your “Infidelity Radar”
A study conducted by Brigham Young University in 2014 found that we have an infidelity radar. Amazing, right?
Trust your instincts about someone; they are usually correct. Our senses catch a lot of messages that our conscious mind misses, and they give us the feeling that something isn’t quite right — trust it. People can tell whether someone is cheating even when they don’t know anything about them.
The study also discovered that when we are in a relationship with someone, we are less likely to notice the signs of cheating. Why?
Because we are less objective and therefore less likely to suspect or assume that someone we care about could harm us. Chemistry causes our brain to become clouded, making it difficult to remain objective.
Focus On What They Do, Not What They Say
Closely observe your date’s actions and how they affect you. It’s tempting for your date to say what you want to hear to win you over, but the opposite may be true.
When it comes to dates, be curious rather than judgmental. Take the time to hear what they say, see how they behave, and learn about them.
People’s behaviors will always reveal who they are, so keep an eye on them — are they late, and do they apologize? Are they considerate of you and others, such as the wait staff?
Take note of how they speak about the opposite sex and whether or not they stare too long at a good-looking person around them.
How They Use Their Phones
Mobile phones are fantastic, but they have made cheating so much easier! Observe how they act when they’re near their phone; that could be a red flag. Hiding what they’re doing on their phone, constantly laying their phone face down, having their alerts turned off, or hastily putting down their phones when you enter the room are all red flags.
Are they always on the phone?
Do they call you when they say they will?
Do they consider your feelings?
Are they defensive, judgmental of others?
Observe instead of getting caught up in your dream of who they are and what your relationship could be.
Wandering Eyes
Their attention should be on you, especially in the beginning, and if you observe them looking about or flirting with other females or guys, it’s a hint that they might cheat in the future. When it comes to cheating, a lot of it is situational, even if they’re interested in you. Spending time in places amongst lots of attractive people makes cheating more likely.
No Social Media Profile
Most of us have a social media profile on some platform.
It could be on Facebook or Instagram or Twitter or LinkedIn, etc.
Serial cheaters tend to avoid having any social media presence; remaining anonymous helps them cheat without getting caught.
After your first date, when you google your date’s name and workplace but nothing shows up about them on any social media platform — be cautious; they might be trying to hide something.
Jealousy / Possessiveness
If your date shows an unusual interest in who you text and talk to on the phone or in person, consider it a red flag.
When your date is too nosy about your social life (both offline, online)and calls you many times a day to “monitor” you — it could be a sign of jealousy.
In extreme cases, he might try to control you by dictating your social life — deciding who you socialize with — possessiveness.
Both jealousy and possessiveness stem from insecurity, and insecure people are most likely to cheat in the future.
These 7 warning signs could save you from wasting more dates on a cheater.
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