The Fighting Couple
And the neighborhood they ruined
The couple screamed at each other on the front porch of their home. The entire neighborhood could hear their every word. It was a common occurrence. Their fights cast a pall of unease over the lives of everyone in the neighborhood.
It might be why most of the couples up and down the street no longer fought much. They did not want to be like them. If they did fight they fought very quietly indoors. It was like the fighting couple used up all the conflict energy in the area thereby diminishing everyone else’s fighting.
Still, it can be quite mood-shattering when you are out in your front yard pruning your rose bushes and suddenly the fighting couple come out on their porch, their screen door slamming shut behind them, and commence to yell at each other.
Why do they come out to their porch to fight? Why can’t they do it indoors?
It takes all the joy out of pruning rose bushes. When pruning rose bushes it is best to do so while in a state of bliss and a deep state of communion with the bushes. That way the rose bushes can tell you how they want to be pruned. It is difficult to stay in such a peaceful state when the fighting couple are calling each other every name in the book at an ear-shattering volume. Most rose bush aficionados would surely go inside and put on some music until the latest fighting episode was over.
Hannah quit pruning her rose bushes and was about to go inside when she saw her neighbor, Estelle, walking down the sidewalk. She walked over to the sidewalk to greet her.
Estelle folded her arms across her chest, “I see they’re at it again.”
“Yeah, it really is kind of disgusting isn’t it. I get a queasy feeling in my gut when they’re at it. I sure wish I knew what could done about that.”
“Well, we could all move.”
“Oh dear. I don’t want to do that. I love my house… and my rose bushes. If anyone should move it is them.”
“You’re right, Hannah. Maybe we can burn their house down.”
“Estelle! What a terrible thing to say. You don’t mean that.”
“No, I guess I don’t. It’s fun to think about, though.”
“You know what I think we should do? Everyone in the neighborhood should get together and do a group meditation and collectively send them as much love as we can. Maybe that will transform them a bit.”
“Yeah right. As bat shit crazy as that idea is there are two problems with it. First, you will never in a million years get everyone in this neighborhood to meditate together. And second, I am convinced that yelling and screaming and cussing and fighting is how that couple express love. If we send them more love they will only fight more and louder.”
“Oh dear. I didn’t think of that. That may be a good point.”
“Listen, if you wanna hear a viable option I think someone should go down there when they have one of their fights and video tape them. Then we can plaster that video all over the internet. When the couple sees it they might just see how truly obnoxious and disgusting they are and it might shame them into being quieter or going indoors.”
“Huh. That is certainly an idea worth thinking about.”
“You know, I bet that couple has more sex than anyone in the neighborhood. They’re so passionate. I bet that’s pretty loud, too.”
“Well thank god they don’t do that on their front porch.”
The women laughed.
Hannah offered another idea, “Maybe, after every one of their fights I could cut a rose and sneak over there and put it through the handle of their screen door with a note saying, ‘Sorry about the fight.’”
“Seriously? What the hell is that gonna do? Maybe we should go back and reconsider the idea of burning their house down.”
They laughed again.
Hannah scratched her chin with the hand that was holding the pruning snippers, “Listen, you wanna come in for a cup of tea? I could turn on some music and I have Mint Milanos.”
“Well, that sounds like a lovely idea.”
The two women went indoors, turned on some music, and peace was at least temporarily restored.
Copyright by White Feather. All Rights Reserved. This is a work of fiction. Stories by White Feather
Speaking of couples…
