The ExPat Lover

He’s bossy, and I like that

ExPat and I have been chatting for about eight weeks now. We had a short blip in between where I said I wanted to focus on the one that spun a great tale and then ditched me for better ground.

ExPat is exquisite! Looks aside (tall and lean, hair both steel and a silver, firm jaw, roman nose and eyes so blue they make the sky pale in comparison), he’s a nice man. He cares about his family, his community and genuinely wants to talk. He’s not all about sex, sex, sex…maybe sex and a half?

I changed my profile on AM to encourage people to read about me before messaging. I’m not for everyone. I don’t want to be for everyone. I want someone who reads, listens, and gives a shit that I’m breathing. He read it and reached out back in early December.

ExPat: I like to read too. What books are you reading?

Wow. Someone who read it. Worth a chat.

So we had some banter back and forth. I went off AM onto Telegram and started chatting.

Me: what is it you want in a woman?

ExPat: a good woman. Someone who I can talk to. Who knows what she wants and is not afraid to say it. Someone to explore with. I can be dominant. So I’d like someone who wants to explore that side too.

I keep getting asked the question if I am dominant or submissive. I don’t think I’m either, really, but willing to be in the moment and do what feels right.

We eventually met for a coffee. I was on holiday and could slip out for the afternoon. I met him in a grocery store parking lot and we talked. Seriously! Just talked. Because I was fresh off some bad first meets in a car, I was determined to only talk.

He’s very much a gentleman and permission-oriented. When I said conversation, that was all he did. Even though I wanted to kiss him so badly. The pictures did not do him justice. He was swoon-worthy but also had this vulnerability to him. Endearing.

Sadly I let him go for another, who promised me everything I wanted to hear. I said so long to my ExPat and wished him well. He returned my sentiments.

A fluke Happy New Year text brought him back.

ExPat: did it work out? Is he what you needed?

Me: Not sure yet. Trying to give it time.

ExPat: No reason we can’t keep chatting. I like our talks.

Another week or so went by, and I had been freshly fucked then ditched. I was so frustrated that I vented to ExPat.

Me: arrggh. what am I doing wrong? what is it about these fuckers?

ExPat: it’s not you. it’s them. idiots all of them. If I was near you…

Me: yes…

ExPat: I’d walk you over to your couch, bend you over it, flip up your skirt, and fuck you until you felt good and forget about the loser.

Oh my. Straight to the. I was working from home, and my couch was right in front of me. So every time I saw it, I imagined him walking in my front door, no kissing, no chatting, just a hard swift fuck. Just what I needed. He would take everything and that would fill me up.

His words are dominant and bossy. There is no question in our chats about who’s in charge. If we do meet up to fuck, I know he’s going to put me just where he wants. He’s not going to leave me hanging. He’s going to fuck me until I come hard, and I like that.

He doesn’t give me flattery or platitudes. He wants me to feel good, so he reaches out and gives me what I need at the moment.

ExPat: I’ll be your secret. The one you can bitch to. The one that will listen and give it back to you straight up. The one that when you need a good fucking, you tell me, and I’ll be there.

He keeps talking about what he would do to me. There are no flowers. It’s raw and needs and potent. I have visions of me riding him, looking into those blue eyes without blinking, him holding my hips hard down on his crotch, hard cock pushing up into me.

He would hold my hair and have me on my knees, sucking him off. I want to. The way that he wants me is fundamental and powerful. Yet he does what he can from a distance to help me come.

He tells me late at night how to touch myself with slow complete instruction. He’s measured and in control. And I come every time he tells me what to do.

We haven’t gotten to that yet. But it’s coming…more importantly…

I’ll be coming.

My thoughts on messaging. Worth a read in case you don’t use either.