Summary

James Alexander MATheol, PhD, TSSF recounts his personal journey from a challenging childhood through various life experiences, guided by Teilhard de Chardin's philosophy of human evolution through activities and passivities, ultimately leading to his successful academic and professional career.

Abstract

The narrative "The Evolution of a Leaf in the Wind" by James Alexander MATheol, PhD, TSSF, details his transformation from a disadvantaged youth in a welfare family to a distinguished academic and clergyman. Influenced by the teachings of Teilhard de Chardin, MATheol frames his life's trajectory as a series of activities and passivities. These include leaving home at 16, embracing the hippie lifestyle, converting to Christianity, and being mentored by a banker who inspired him to pursue education. Despite early setbacks and a lack of formal schooling, MATheol obtained his GED, attended community college, and eventually earned a doctorate. His life's tapestry, woven with threads of hardship, mentorship, love, and resilience, exemplifies the evolutionary process of growth and adaptation, reflecting the broader human experience.

Opinions

MATheol views his early life passivities, such as living on welfare and limited access to education, as significant setbacks that shaped his future.
He considers the hippie movement and his subsequent involvement with the Jesus Freaks as pivotal activities that redirected his life's course.
The mentorship from the banker is seen as a turning point, highlighting the impact of positive role models and personal encouragement in overcoming adversity.
MATheol reflects on his relationship with his girlfriend as both an active and passive influence, contributing to his personal and academic growth, despite the eventual end of their relationship.
The narrative suggests that both positive and negative experiences are integral to personal evolution, with each contributing to one's ultimate path and development.
MATheol's achievements, including earning a PhD and becoming a college professor, are presented as a testament to the potential for personal growth, regardless of one's beginnings.
The author's dedication of his dissertation to the banker underscores his belief in the transformative power of mentorship and guidance.
The essay concludes with a philosophical stance that embraces the unpredictable nature of life's journey, advocating for openness to change and the evolutionary process.

The Evolution of a Leaf in the Wind

James Alexander MATheol, PhD, TSSF

I need to tell you something about Teilhard de Chardin. Not much. You can look him up. He was a French Jesuit priest and a paleontologist instrumental in the discovery of “Peking Man” (part of the story of evolution). Teilhard says that humanity progresses through activities and passivities. We do activities. Passivities happen to us. They can both be positive or negative, but they are all part of the human (and personal, and cosmic) evolution story.

I can attest to those things working in my life. I came from a poor family. My dad was disabled, and we lived on welfare for a while. For us that was a passivity, and a mighty negative one. It set me back. No medical care. Limited food. Embarrassment (especially in the 60s). My parents did not value education a lot. Too worried about living. My mom had to quit school in 4th grade, my dad in 8th. Mostly passivities again.

Hippiedom hit my hometown, Kansas City, Missouri, in about 67. It had an attraction to me. I hated school. And, my dad, born in 1909 and I in the mid 50s were miles apart. He had all the drugs, rebellion, and long hair he could take. He asked me to leave when I was 16. Activity on his part. Passivity on my part. But unknown to me, it was destined to turn in surprising ways.

I just stopped going to school when I was 15 (yep, you guessed it activity). Seems negative, huh? Well just wait. You might be surprised.

Luckily, I could live with my sister for a month. Also, believe it or not, I slept on the display waterbed in a friend’s headshop. Pretty much a. druggie. I was drawn especially to psychedelics. I bet I’ve taken at least 50 acid trips. Seems like lots and lots of bad activities.

I ran into the Jesus Freaks. Evangelical, hippie Christians. Soon I was living at their commune and street witnessing most days. Activity? Sure. But good or not so good depended on who you talked to. I did help some folks get off drugs.

I met a guy at the commune. Boy! He didn’t belong. Straight as an arrow. He had a degree in economics. He was 28. I was 17. For whatever reason, I became his special project (passive on my part; active on his). He soon moved out of the commune and got a job at a bank. That made sense. His folks owned several banks in another city.

He went out of his way to relate to me. Even tried to teach me how to drive (a lost cause). I was pretty damn passive about it all. Really, I was aimless. But I did like him. After all, he cared about me. Mostly in my life I was just a leaf in the wind (passive). He hung out with me.

One day, I went to see him, and he was waiting for me with a pad and pencil. He began drawing pictures of where my life might go. It was dismal. He said, maybe I could be a dishwasher. He said, he had been watching me for 2 years, and I was smarter than that. The solution? He said, BACK TO SCHOOL!

Well, I couldn’t. Now I was 17 and I didn’t even pass 8th grade (too much tripping). He thought for a while, what about a GED?, he said. Hmmm. I don’t know why, (I still don’t) but I hiked on down to the Plaza Library where they held the GED classes. First, they wanted to test me.

Damn! Eighth grade level in everything. Then came along a big activity. A very good one. My girlfriend, a college freshman, began to tutor me. I went to classes and really got into it big time. Hadn’t the super smart banker said I was smart? And I don’t know how much was passive and how much active, but I took to learning like a duck to water.

The teachers of the GED classes said I didn’t need them anymore. They gave me another test; it said I was high school graduate level now. They wrote the state a letter to get permission for a 17-year-old to take the GED (you had to be 18). They approved it. I took it and I passed it. Barely. It was six months after the banker said I could do it.

Now what? Pure passivity on my part, with the help of my girlfriend, I enrolled in community college. It was pure passivity (activity on her part) when the girlfriend dumped me to live in a tepee in Colorado with her graduate assistant biology teacher. Seemed like a real bummer passivity to me. I cried for days.

But life goes on. I finished community college and ended up in a state university. There, I met Renski and married her. (Active? Passive? Certainly comical!)

I got a degree in elementary education and taught elementary school, which I liked. Then passivity came along again. I got some bad genes and some particularly bad rheumatoid arthritis. I mostly taught little kids — In days well before men did that. It looked like I was heading for a wheelchair. My doctor said it was a possibility.

Then, Renski and I talked. Just all kinds of crazy ideas. I had done a lot. I’d even earned a graduate theology degree and was a minister for a few years. But what now? I still had little kids at home.

You won’t believe it, but we decided I should earn a doctorate. (Sounds insane!) Mostly because I might be able to teach college and get a few more years on my joints. Seemed to me like a necessity. Guess in some ways it was a little passive. I felt forced to make the decision.

You had to take the GRE to qualify for the PhD program. I was scared. But I sucked it up and took it. That was a big activity for me. What a shocker when I opened the envelope and discovered that I exceeded the required admission score by over 200 points. (Well… I got to admit Renski helped me with the math stuff. I never was good with that.)

And, so, 1992 found me at the University of Arkansas pursuing a doctorate in literacy and educational psychology. I ate it up. Loved it. The RA was killing me. But Man! Did I learn.

I had a 25-year career as a college professor and returned to a part time pastorate for 8. Then, my health just gave out. I was 62. I started as a welfare kid of sorts. Lots of rotten passivities and stupid activities. But as Teilhard would say, it’s all just a part of our evolution.

And my dissertation? I dedicated it to the guy who kicked it all off in the first place. It was dedicated to the banker, of course.

We have gone separate ways. Think he came out conservative. Not me. His religion is orthodox. Mine is experimental. But one thing is for sure. Activities or passivities… Diminishment or growth. Somehow, I think, we’ll make it. In one U2 song Bono asks Jesus for help. He says he is by himself in the world. And it is a “Fucked-Up World.” It really is. True. But sometimes it is just how this evolution stuff rolls.

But the lesson I have learned is our growth and diminishment always move us forward — if we let it, and if we listen. At least it has me. None of us knows the end from the beginning.