The strange emotional ups and downs we’re experiencing in quarantine

There are a number of complex emotions we might experience during quarantine. These are the best ways to address them and work through them.

by: E.B. Johnson

There is no denying that we are living through incredibly strange and unique times. From the social distancing orders to full-on lockdowns, life has never seemed quite so emotional or confusing. One moment, you’re carefree and relaxed, while the next you find yourself fraught with anxiety and praying for a release. We’re all experiencing fragile emotional ups and downs right now, but we can overcome them with some commitment and a little know-how.

Embracing our emotions for what they are is a good place to start, but we also have to understand where they come from and understand the ways in which we can transform them to our benefit. You don’t have to spend your time in being scared, overwhelmed and uncertain. You can find your way back to happiness and joy again by aligning once more with your authentic purpose and getting creative about the new future you’re building.

When one month becomes two months.

As the lockdown orders first took place and the first offices shuttered their doors, there were some who welcomed the break. We live in a society that seems to pride hard work above everything else, and who rewards those who sacrifice themselves on the wheel of capitalism. The social distancing orders imposed by the rampant spread of COVID-19 changed everything, however, and before we knew it — one month was becoming two as we slipped into a strange Groundhog Day delirium.

While the various quarantines and shelter-in-place orders took effect over time, many of us came to realize the various emotional ups and downs that were beginning to take place. Shuttering yourself away indoors no longer seemed as promising or relaxing as it once had, why? Because it couldn’t distract us from the fear and the unsettling detachment that was beginning to permeate everything.

Living socially apart is not something that comes naturally to us humans. We are creatures of social habit, and we are creatures that need our work routines and our “nights out” in order to feel as though we are living a fulfilled and worthwhile existence. If you feel as though you are treading through unimaginable emotional valleys and peaks — you’re not alone. All of us are dealing with a number of complex emotions, and the only way we can work through them is by accepting them and getting inspired and committed to change.

The emotional ups and downs we’re all experiencing.

There are a number of different, complex emotions we might be experiencing right now. Spanning far beyond simple uncertainty, these feelings can include top-shelf frustrations, and a pervasive ennui that makes it hard to see any light in the future.

Grand frustrations

You probably have a lot of time to spend on Google Earth, or thinking up your next grand vacation, so chances are you’re looking at more of the world now than ever before. Seeing a big vast world, but being unable to take part in it, can be heart-wrenching and aggravating. Right now, you might feel that you’ll never get to fully experience the people and places you always dreamed of, and you might even be feeling like you’ll never get to leave your small corner of the planet again.

Déjà vu

We’ve all had feelings of déjà vu before, but those feelings might be especially powerful now that you’re stuck in the house and limited by the social interactions you can have. You might find yourself doing a chore or watching a film and then think, “I’ve done this before.” It’s because you have, and you’re probably going to do a lot more of it — but that can then become both disappointing and frustrating.

Constant regret

Regret is a powerful feeling and one that is extremely uncomfortable. At the start of the COVID-19 outbreak, there was a great deal of panic buying and a great deal of inconvenient fallout in the wake. If you were someone who found yourself begging for toilet paper, or struggling to find the bread and milk you needed, you might be wishing you could go back in time and prepare better or do things differently. This nagging feeling might haunt you throughout your time in isolation.

Chrysalism

Chrysalism is one of those rarely positive feelings that we get in chaotic or stressful times. This occurs when we feel cozy and secure in our homes against the chaos outside (especially true if you live in one of the parts of the country being impacted by snowstorms and a second winter coming). While others panic, you might be feeling quite happy and secure buried in your warm blankets on your ultra-comfy couch. It’s a bright light in a dark time, and a feeling that should bring you no guilt.

Awed impressions

Feeling awestruck by the world around you right now, or the brave response of people like healthcare workers? It’s natural to be more awestruck by the beauty and wonder of the world now that you’re not so actively a part of it. The likely reason? You’ve finally slowed down enough to look at the world around you, and think about how it actually all comes together. Not bad for a little chaos and stardust, right? If you’re feeling a sense of awe or wonder with the world right now, you’re not alone. It can be both grand and terrifying.

Sonder

There’s really no other way to describe “sonder” short of that feeling of great and unnamable sorrow that we get when it seems like all the world has gone wrong. When you feel wonder, you feel simultaneously a part of everything — and also dwarfed by the magnitude of it. This sorrow causes you to realize that there are millions of people around you battling the same (or even more complex) situations to your own. That can be an overwhelming idea to take on board when you’re struggling with other complex emotions.

Misplaced malice

The longer we remain in quarantine and isolation, the greater we might realize our frustrations to be. As our frustrations grow, they might cause us to lash out, but they might also cause us to change the way we see and relate to others. Though you may not want to admit it, schadenfreude is a very real emotion and one that occurs when you take joy or pleasure in the misfortune of other people. Examples include feeling happy when you see protesters becoming infected after exposing themselves to the virus on the beach, or even taking pleasure in the increased discomfort of a loved one.

Abandoned despair

Have you wondered through any of your old, familiar haunts since the lockdown? Did you feel a sort of empty sadness at the sight of all the empty shops, restaurants and boarded up bars? If so, you’re not alone. Kenopsia occurs when you get an eerie feeling in a now-abandoned placed. Your hair might stand on edge, you might feel tears come to your eyes. It’s unsettling — but it’s also completely normal too.

Dreams of death

We are living in new and scary times. Though death has always been a known and accepted element in our lives, it was distant and something to be worried about later. Now, death lurks around the corner and seems to wait for every one of us; young and old, healthy and unhealthy too. It’s natural to think of death more when you’re in a crisis, but it’s not healthy to allow those thoughts to take over your life. If you’re becoming obsessed with the fear of death, you’ve got to make changes to your routine and re-establish your emotional sanity.

How to deal with the emotional ups and downs of social isolation.

You don’t have to accept these new highs and lows as an adjusted state of being. Though our emotions can often feel scary or overwhelming, we are the masters of them and able of controlling them with a little ingenuity and commitment. Don’t let your over-the-top emotions become a delusional reality. Take charge of your life and the way you feel with these techniques.

1. Find a way to express yourself

When our emotions become too pent up, they can manifest and explode in unexpected and unpleasant ways. We have to face up to our emotions in order to deal with them, and we have to find healthy ways to express those emotions despite the closeness or intensity of our situation. When we express our feelings openly and honestly, we remove the power that they hold over us and allow ourselves to make better decisions for our families, our partners and our lives.

Find a new outlet for your emotions, and don’t wait until you’re falling apart or ready to blow at the seams. There’s no right or wrong way to go about letting your feelings free, but it is wrong to sit on them until they make your living situation unbearable.

Pick up on your old passions again, or start slowly by building a meditation or mindful journalling practice. You don’t need to spend hours a day committing to an emotional catharsis. Just give yourself some kind of space to detach and express yourself in any way you see fit. Start with just 15 minutes each day, and build up to an hour or an afternoon. Be creative and don’t be afraid to pursue new interests that you never had time to consider before.

2. Be creatively social

Just because we’re social distancing doesn’t mean we can’t still be social with one another. If you’re struggling with emotions, one of the best things you can do is open up to someone you love. That, however, means picking up the phone (or the tablet, or the laptop) and finding new ways to get social with the people that you care about most. Lean into your support networks, and do it creatively.

Reach out to the people you trust, and get back in contact with them. Try out video chats, look into online skill courses. There are a number of creative ways that you can all stay in touch and stay open with another.

Don’t make it all about fun and games, though. If you’re struggling with them, make time to open up and share the experiences you’re each undergoing. Let them know where your emotions are at, and leave room for them to do the same. When we share our struggles with another, we make the burden of them considerably smaller. Stop struggling with the weight of a world and let someone in that you care about. Find creative ways to connect and maintain your social routines from a distance.

3. Get comfy in a schedule

Routines can be a great comfort when we’re feeling stressed or when we’re dealing with a lot of heavy and complicated emotions. If you’re stuck at home and it’s taking a big toll on your mental and emotional wellbeing, then it’s worth trying out a routine to bring yourself some stability. When we lean into a routine, we take a lot of the pressure off of ourselves and give our brains the ability to focus on something more productive.

Work out a routine that works for you and do your best to follow through on it every day. Start in the morning, with a routine that allows you to set your tone, and focus a lot on your emotions and things that equal feeling better — not worse.

As soon as you wake up, drink a large glass of water. If you’re looking for an energy spike to help you conquer goals around the house, kick things off with a short, brisk run or a medium-intensity yoga routine. This will get your heart rate up, and help to get your adrenaline into gear too. Follow throughout the day with prioritized tasks, and limit yourself to low-intensity, low-priority tasks in the afternoon (when your energy starts to wane).

4. Arm yourself with inspiration

Inspiration is a funny thing, and it can be a beautifully powerful thing too. We can find inspiration in the darkest of moments, and in the heights of our joy as well. Inspiration motivates us and moves us towards our higher truths. It’s also a great way of working through your emotions, and a brilliant insulator against the pain of self-isolation and social distancing.

If you feel yourself falling into a slump, look for inspiration in the things you love and the things you don’t love so much. Find a silver-lining to every experience and look how to turn uncomfortable emotions into something that can benefit you. Maybe that anger becomes a new story. Maybe that disappointment becomes a painting.

Take the bad and transform it into something that can line your pockets or line your soul. Get inspired, so that you can persevere; get inspired so that you find a new way to move forward in this strange new world. When we become determined to find inspiration (despite our circumstances), we will see it everywhere. In every emotion, every moment. Open yourself up to a new world of possibility and arm yourself with the inspiration you need to forge a new path.

5. Re-connect with your meaning

At some point in our lives, we all ask ourselves about our purpose here. As humans, we need meaning and a reason for going on and overcoming the adversity in our lives. When we re-connect with our meaning, we allow ourselves to get past the emotional hurdles that are keeping us small, stuck and scared. Get back in touch with who you are, and through that your reason for being.

Find your passions and follow them, and allow them to lead you to your true meaning. Our purpose is our primal and authentic. Lean into those things which make your heart sing, and through that find the things that allow you to give the best parts of yourself in service to a bigger cause.

To find meaning is to find stability. To find stability is to let go of the fear. Get past the anger and the grief that’s holding you back. Learn to look past all the envy, and the ennui and missed opportunities. Our purpose doesn’t care how we feel. It’s calling for us, and waiting desperately for us to find it and connect with it. Open up the door of chance and let go of the chaos inside. Let your meaning guide you to the right path.

6. Live creatively

Just as living in-line with our true meaning leads to grand transformations in our lives, living creatively too is a powerful way to get over trying emotions. Our creativity guides us, but it also makes us strong. It helps us to resolve painful or uncomfortable emotions, and it can also empower us to embrace critical self-realizations. If you’re struggling with feelings that won’t let you go — get creative about finding the solutions you need to thrive.

The greatest moments of uncertainty are often the moments when creativity is needed most. When we are left hanging in mid-air, we are more likely to see opportunities we missed in the midst of our comfortable days.

Start living creatively and strive to bring creativity into every aspect of what you do. Let your creativity that drives you on, and it let it be the fire that sever the ties with your pain. Live authentically. Make art. Write books. Wear wacky clothes. Try your hand at make-up. Figure out how you can use your skills and interests to create new wonders and interests of your own. Live creatively and transcend your emotional pain through a more authentically aligned life.

7. Make future plans

One of the reasons we suffer so much emotional malady while undergoing stressful situations is our inability to see or determine the future. As humans, we find comfort in being able to define our own futures, our knowing where our feet are going to land. When this certainty and stability is ripped out from under us, it can lead to major conflicts of self and even bigger emotional hurdles.

Give yourself a little more certainty by investing some time in future planning — no matter what your circumstances might be. Spend some time with yourself, and get real about what you want from your life and what it’s going to take to get there.

Consider the full scope of your skills right now in this moment and compare them against the skills you’ll need to get where you want to go. What actionable steps can you take now that will allow you to move closer to that goal? Remember, there is no effort too small, and no stride that does not count. The world is at your fingertips more than ever before, with a sea of online courses, how-to’s and everything else you need to figure out your own future. Start making plans for your future and remove the uncertainty.

Putting it all together…

This year has proven to be a stressful one, and more than ever many of us are experiencing the emotional ups and downs that come with such pressure. Whether you’re overwhelmed by newly abandoned cityscapes, or reeling after the loss of a future that no longer exists — there are a number of complex emotions that you might be feeling right now, but you have to embrace them in order to overcome them.

Start finding new outlets for expression that allow you to connect with and resolve your painful emotions without the stress and the pressure of direct confrontation. Creative pursuits are excellent stress relievers and can unlock new realizations within us. Extend that creativity to your socializations and find new ways to open up to those you trust when you’re struggling. We’re all going through a hard time, and we all want to be there for our loved ones. Arm yourself with inspiration and let your creativity lead you back to some sense of passion and purpose. If you’re floundering in the uncertainty, lean into the comfort of a routine and start making plans to resolve your emotional distress. These are difficult times, and they may only get more difficult as the days and months progress. Keep an open mind and embrace your emotions for what they are. You can survive this, but you’re going to have to get focused and live creatively.