THIS ISN’T A STORY
The Editor Fairy’s Mudditor Meeting Notes, 9/27/21
A report by the least funny MuddyUm editor
Some of us have to get up earlier than others for our Zooms. I guess the most challenged people at any particular meeting are the ones who report on it? It’ll be Sarah Paris’s turn when Uranus gets better internet. Help Sarah P! see below for details.
Me to Susan
Am I supposed to turn this into a real story, like Amy Sea apparently is? Why?
Susan to Me
Because I say so, that’s why.
OK, here you go, Cap’n.
- Put my draft Prompts piece in MuddyUm queue (DONE) or add to Susan’s “1720” draft (DON’T HAVE TIME TODAY)
- Susan mentioned Carol Lennox in connection with being a Mudditorial candidate; it came up again later in the meeting too as we brainstormed GoFundMe ideas
- Paul, aka Baskerville Old Face aka BOF, instructed us in Profile/Audience Development settings. Something about automatically adding text at the bottom of our stories?
- Amy is hallucinating/no sleep. Somehow that morphed into being nominated to produce today’s meeting as a story. (Don’t know why I have to too, as Amy is tons funnier, sleep or no sleep. Susan must think my readers are more likely to donate? That can’t be. Only three people are going to read this, Susan + 2 Mudditors. Unless Hogan reads the entire thing to see how he was tagged)
- Susan suggested including screenshots in Prompt stories and brought up the one regarding shoes. Cross-pollination, like when Hogan screenshotted funny notes on Facebook from his Leaky Dick story¹
- Where is Hogan’s “shoe” story? Is he embarrassed? (I know! I’ll write one for him. Here ’tis)
- On Facebook in the Outlaws group, Susan labels her prompts with #humorprompt and also labels other things like that consistently so she & we can find them by category later
- I complained about HughesNet — insufficient signal strength to use my laptop today. I Zoomed via my phone’s data plan and gave everyone glimpses of my ceiling light like BOF did last week. (Hubby’s on the phone w/HughesNet now & I hear him saying “we have 60% packet loss”)
- Susan told a story about obtaining internet service where she lives. One place quoted $5K as her cost but another installed the necessary infrastructure at no cost to her, thus providing service for her 20 neighbors too
- I have only three or four neighbors and fear we have too many trees for consistent satellite dish reception. We’re on the Green River in WA, shades of Gary Ridgway, the Green River Killer. Susan asked, are you downstream or upstream of the dumping grounds? (I’m happy to report we’re upstream. Ridgway’s employer was about 10 min from our old house)
Sarah Paris needs $500 by Friday — GoFundMe?
- For some reason I talked about Ruby, our $27K dog. R.I.P., Ruby. She died around age 8 after surviving multiple medical emergencies, including salmon poisoning. I got pet insurance along with our 2nd “family dog” after Ruby passed
- Amy talked about her interesting astrologer neighbor. Everything’s woo-woo until you understand it (this inspired me to remind myself to start drafting a story about drunk ppl who actually had no alcohol, which I didn’t mention out loud in the meeting)
- Why do astrology people have the best rocks? This led to a discussion of ley lines, where first we debated its spelling. Susan and/or BOF looked up ley line maps online and Susan envisioned them being produced by indigenous peoples snapping huge chalk lines and chanting: “it’ll keep them busy for centuries!”
- Sarah Paris “grounded” Susan for eating gummies yesterday, 1/8th of an edible at a time. In defiance, Susan ate a partial gummy during our meeting
- BOF biked 66.5 miles yesterday. I displayed a package of 100MG THC cherry amaretto solid chocolate Bon Bombs, 10MG THC per piece, of which I consume one per night as a sleep aid (it also aids creativity when writing in the evening, ha)
- I was laughing too hard at the time to write, but BOF reminded me of what he contributed to the THC convo:
I did mention my use of (smokable — I’m old school as well as old face!) THC as a biking aid. Keeps me from figuring out where I am, so I stay out longer (& get more exercise) plus certain types of audio books and podcasts are way more impressive.
- Amy jumped in a lake yesterday. Lucia Siochi displayed her beautiful white kitty, which led someone to suggest cat therapy. Liza, my poodle, came into frame briefly
- We brainstormed various things to sell or do to raise $ for Sarah’s GoFundMe, which I think Susan is actually going to set up? PayPal was mentioned. Sarah will get $500 first; any remainder will be split equally among Mudditors. Put an ad in Bootyque for the GoFundMe? (Will pub editors ever be paid in our lifetimes?)
- I said I’d read aloud a Hogan story containing Ducks & Ficks for $50 and could sell or auction off ziplock “dime bags” of Liza’s black & white poodle fur. Susan suggested printing labels “Liza & Sarah Paris say thank you”
- Apropos of something I didn’t write down, Lucia said, “I don’t make bags; people do” (ah, perhaps out of felted or spun-into-yarn poodle hair? I showed off a big furball of it I’m saving, who knows why)
- Baskerville Old Face will sport his man boobs in his favorite dress, while singing. He volunteered to autograph random books, not ones he has written, for sale
- Flat Stanley — be careful what you wish for. (Can’t remember why I wrote down that last part, ha. Oh, I know. It had to do with the fund-raiser below. Someone kindly explained Flat Stanley to me. Susan knows why I wrote down the “be careful” part, but you’ll never find out unless she explains it in her own story)
Not sure I should admit to taking notes anymore.
You can donate to the gofundme OR via paypal below:
But wait, there’s more!
The perks list! If you donate, choose ONE:
$1.00 — You’ll get a warm personal thank you from one of the Mudditors.
$5.00 — Amy See will read to you from this very cool just published Comedy Book.
$5.00 — Amy See will read to you from this other very cool just published Humor Book.
$5.00 — Baskerville Old Face promises to skip editing your next MuddyUm story.
$10.00 — Amy will still read and even turn on the video in the Zoom room.
$10.00 — Sarah Paris will Rap OG Tribe Called Quest, but since she’s on Uranus we don’t know what the audio will be like.
$10.00 — Holly See will send you a dime bag of primo poodle fur.
$20.00 — Baskerville Old Face will autograph a random book from his library, and ship it to you.
$20.00 — Lucia S. will lead you on a virtual cat therapy session. This is cat petting, not pussy petting.
$50.00 — Sarah Paris will personally write a funny story. Just for you.
$50.00 — Holly See will read LIVE a Hogan Torah story.
$50.00 — Susan Brearley will recite Amy See’s story, “The Vagina Doctor Doesn’t Remember My Face,” in a rap style.
$50.00 — BOF will serenade you with his baritone horn while wearing his favorite dress.
¹ Hogan Torah, why do you keep inserting yourself into my stories? Don’t all those ducks & ficks & music video stories keep you busy? I think I figured out why! You’re more interesting than Matt Lillywhite. So! Why don’t you apply to be the new Most Interesting Man In The World? Didn’t that replacement guy wash out? I can totally see it unless you don’t really have a beard.
Happy to report that Grrrammarly remains confused by my voice. Gotta keep ’em guessing.
