The Ebbs and Flows of Miscommunication

How easily our words are misconstrued

Did you ever play a game as a child called, Broken Telephone? For anyone not aware, the rules are fairly simple. A group of people stand in a line and the person at the front, whispers a phrase into the ear of the person next to them.

Upon hearing the phrase, that person turns to the next one in line and whispers the same phrase. On it goes down the line of people until it reaches the last. That last person must speak aloud what they have just heard.

Invariably, the phrase has been altered and misheard somewhere down the line, and everyone has a good laugh over the final answer.

Broken Telephone is still very much a game we all play, unwittingly sometimes.

Recently, I was invited to become a participating editor on ILLUMINATION by fellow writer and mentor, Liam Ireland.

I had never acted as an editor before in any professional capacity, so I was delighted for the opportunity. With a guiding hand from Liam, publisher Dr. Mehmet Yildiz, and Senior editors Tree Langdon, CPA, CGA, Britni Pepper, and Liam, I dove into the deep end and began reading the words of others in more earnest.

I’ve always felt I have a pretty good eye for detail, so there was an immediate comfort level in checking for things like grammar and spelling mistakes, and matters of compliance with stated publishing guidelines.

Tree suggested that on occasion, a short note from me as the editor, and a few claps on the published piece would add value to the experience. It did, for me, and I hope for the people I come in contact with.

The other day though, I had an experience where my short message to a writer went completely off the rails. I was reading through a very well-written piece from Younes Henni, Ph.D. about how one can reduce stress through good posture.

This short article provides some valuable insights into the human body and its relation to the psyche. The story details some things to remember when standing that will help us gain better posture.

Anyway, I wanted to let Younes know that I appreciated his thoughts but for some reason, my warped sense of humour got the better of me. It occurred to me as I slouched in front of my computer, I could learn a lot from this person.

It was the slouching me that took over, however, so I wrote;

“It’s a lot to remember all at once, but great advice. Thanks for the tips.”

By my way of thinking this a funny way of saying I could be the first to benefit from this man’s advice.

But, my lunkhead brain hadn’t considered this reply,

“It’s a three-minute read. No problem.”

Well, after I finished beating myself repeatedly about the head, I wrote back with an apology and explanation of what I meant. I noted to Younes that most days, just being erect (I mean standing you naughty girl), was enough of an effort for me, and I hadn’t meant to imply that his article was tedious.

Ultimately after I contacted him, we both had a good laugh over my poor communication skills and, Younes could not have been more gracious. But, my laziness with language very nearly created a rift between me and someone I don’t even know.

So, lesson learned? I certainly hope so.

Here’s the thing. Information moves through us at a dizzying rate, and often, we lose the nuances that come from a personal conversation. What was obviously missing from my original note, was the intent.

If you will pardon the pun, social media is a cold medium, and as such, we could all use some better awareness when using it to communicate. Much like the growing pains with email during its infancy, we have to learn that our words, if not chosen carefully, can have multiple meanings.

Now and then, I get text messages from my nieces. They used to be more frequent, but they have all grown into adults and have begun building lives of their own, but it’s always a pleasure to read a note from one of them.

When it was a more regular occurrence in their dreaded teenage years, our text conversations would continue to a point where I would end up hitting the call button just so I could stop typing. I also wanted to hear their voices. There’s much more warmth in that. But. I was also a dinosaur.

I learned the hard way that most young people these days don’t even bother putting talk-time on their mobile plans, so of course, I would reach a voicemail box that was always full. That’s ok. I still love them, the little creeps.

In the early nineteen-sixties, the Canadian professor and philosopher Marshall McLuhan coined the phrase,

“The medium is the message”

As a great studier of communication, McLuhan bemoaned the human race’s unpreparedness for future technologies as we moved into the twenty-first century. He was a true visionary in this regard as he worked on his theories long before the home computer was a thing, let alone today’s social media accessibility.

What did he mean by this phrase?

For me, Marshall McLuhan could clearly see way back in the dark ages of the 1960s, that the media we chose to communicate with would produce a new mindset in the user as it increased the speed of our thoughts.

He argued that the telephone possessed the power to increase the speed of business, as does computer technology today. We are forced to catch up with electronic media, not the other way around.

With the increased speed, the medium then dictates how information is transferred, causing us to adjust to its presence. We need go no further than today’s political landscape to understand that the actual message is secondary when the medium is used as a battering ram.

In 1967, McLuhan updated his quote and parodied himself with, “The medium is the massage”. Marshall indicates here that the technology itself massages our sensibilities into performing the way it was designed.

This is the point where my little note to Younes went off the rails. The technology expected, perhaps demands us to work quickly, use an economy of words.

BIG MISTAKE!

If we can’t say what we mean with a few choice words, then it seems to me it behooves us to slow the process down again and make better sense of our intent.

I for one will be keeping a closer eye on those crossroads, and choosing my words much better.

As always, thanks for taking the time, and thanks to all my other friends Myriam Ben Salem Agnes Laurens Dr. Mehmet Yildiz Rasheed Hooda Carol Price Akos Peterbencze Jill Reid