The Death of Chivalry Will Be the Ruin of Us All

Kindness is a virtue we all most uphold.

As Hillary Clinton stated, “women’s right is a human right,” I believe that a woman expecting a man to be courteous, kind and polite to her is normal, just as she would expect her loved ones to be. But these days, it seems the idea of courteousness, politeness and good manners — an embodiment of chivalry is swept down the rain.

In one of my flirtatious escapades, I started dating this British guy, I’ve got a thing for men with ascents so falling for him was pretty easy. He was built in the right places and a feminist, so he said. Which made it easier for me to bond with him on an emotional level. I have a distaste for arrogant sexist men if that isn’t obvious by now.

Okay before you jump to a conclusion, I don’t expect a way for a guy to go out of his way to show me he cares for me, but courtesy demands respect and a simple act of kindness wouldn’t kill.

I liked this guy at first, but every time I saw another guy who treats his girlfriend with much affection, I get jealous. My guy is the type that believes things like love, affection, passion makes people weak. He would rather pay $2000 to a Masseuseus than to give a woman a hot massage at home.

After a couple of dates, I called it a quit. His unchivalrous attitude was too appalling to consider going on a long term commitment with him.

I’ve had guys slam doors on my face or refuse to hold the elevator open for me because the idea of chivalry to our modern women makes men look foolish or in simple words a “SIMP.”

One Friday afternoon, I had stepped out from the office to go pick up some groceries for the week. I saw this lady coming out from the supermarket. She tripped on her bag and fell.

One of the sales boys saw her fall, he quickly and helped her pick all the items littered on the floor of the supermarket.

Normally, when a person helps you out with something you say “thank you,” but this lady and told the sales boys, “you shouldn’t have bothered.” She walked right past him majestically with a straight face out of the supermarket.

What a shocker!

Two months ago, I was returning home from a colleague’s child dedication. It was raining heavily and getting late so I had to leave early so I could get home on time.

About 20 miles away from the city I had a flat tyre. I managed to get my jack out and started to change the tyre myself. I have never experienced this before so it was a bit of a challenge for me.

Drenched in the rain, I was cold, shivering and no cell signal.

I was stranded, scared and all I could pray for was for God to send an angel to come to my aid. I waited and waited but there was no one within 10 miles from where I was.

Finally, I saw a jeep coming in my direction. I flagged him down. According to him, he was going to pick up his wife from the airport. I begged him to help me change my tyre and he did without hesitating.

I thanked him, but seeing how wet his clothes were I requested If he could let me take him to the nearest dry cleaner to dry his clothes. He refused and went on his way to pick up his wife.

After that day it hit me. I always kick against chivalry, but here I was taking advantage of it when I got stranded.

That’s how most women are. Why did I not change that tyre myself instead of calling for help? Why do we have to make life so complex, dragging gender equality on every matter? Does asking for help mean we’re weak?

As these questions revealed their answers, I was left with one conclusion “good mannerism isn’t a weakness neither is chivalry.” Being a gentleman requires you to be courteous, caring, respectful, gracious, honorable and compassionate.

Woman secretly want these, even the die-hard feminist who go about burning their bras. I like the door being held open for me, and I find it charming when a man stands to pull the chair for me.

How many of us women can stand when a man enters the room, carry bags, open doors, take care of checks without feeling like a slave? Yet most men are happy to do it in a heartbeat.

Confused feminist a threat to the well being of the future generation

A feminist woman wants to be reassured of your love and loyalty. She wants to be cared for when she’s around you. As long as you can give your woman your love, respect and security without her earning it, she would love you more and eventually come to appreciate your chivalrous nature, even if she’s a die-hard feminist.

Feminism is simply equality — politically, socially and economically. We don’t have to demean one gender to give equal opportunities to the other. It is this false notion associated with feminism that seems to have misled most feminist woman to ascertain what they should or should not want.

Now, men worry about how to treat a woman without being misunderstood for belittling her, rather than seen as an act of graciousness.

Back in the Middle ages, Chivalry was a code upheld by Knights to defend women and children from powerful men who raped, looted and murdered mercilessly.

But today, women are safer than it was then, we have also learned to be independent. Modern women have more rights than the women of the Middle ages.

Even with our rights and independence, the modern woman feels threatened when shown a simple act of compassion.

Now get this, some feminist women, I call these set the confused feminist want a man to buy them dinner, propose to them, open doors for them, but he shouldn’t do it “Just because she’s a woman.” And that’s what baffles me.

Just like I was stranded in the rains, most confused feminist take advantage of chivalric code whenever it’s convenient. Now they don’t also want men telling them to smile. How else do you show respect without being kind?

What are we teaching our children if we can’t get our acts straight?

Instilling good manners in our children makes them an overall pleasant person, polite, kind and more likely to succeed in life. Courteousness is an important etiquette in business. Let’s take a look at some good manners we instil in our children:

To say “please” and “thank you” as a sign of gratitude for something. To ask for “permission” before taking something that doesn’t belong to you. To say “excuse me” if you want to avoid bumping into someone. To “knock on the door” before entering someone’s room. To “hold doors open” for others, especially when they are carrying something. To say “sorry” when they offend someone. To “offer to help” adults if they need it. To “treat” others how you would want them to treat you. To “give compliments” when you appreciate something or someone. To “avoid using bad languages” on others.

All these etiquettes express chivalry in different forms. Now tell me if we succeed in killing chivalry, how will the world be without kindness, politeness, and compassion? I can imagine a world filled with Trumpitons.

God no! That will be death to humanity.

Equality is the key here. Just like it is polite, kind, courteous to pay for a woman’s dinner, so it is too to pay a man’s dinner. Having the men do all the chivalry acts breeds insecurity in women. So why not show courtesy to one another regardless of gender?

If it’s raining and he offers you his jacket, politely reject it because he’s human too and he’s not immune to cold. If you give me your seat, and I take it, don’t expect me to talk to you or give you my number because the law of reciprocation demands that.

Chivalry is a worthy cause. Women have the same opportunity to show courage, kindness, compassion, generosity, security as men do.

I hope that as the understanding of chivalry spreads and grows, women will feel more secured to give and receive any act of chauvinism in good faith.

Chivalry today isn’t just a reward to boost a man’s ego or promote patriarchy, rather is a way to bid farewell to the fairy tale concept of damsel in distress.