The Day When I Realized That My Spirit Guides Didn’t Care

Awakening to being human

It’s the final day of shelter-in-place (well hopefully) after more than six weeks of having part or all of our freedom to move curtailed. This time it was a little more taxing since after more than a year of being out and about, we were asked to remain at home to avoid further community spread of the virus that had finally reached our shores to the point of seriously affecting local families. In retrospect, we should have felt lucky especially when other neighbouring countries have still not reopened after more than eighteen months of their borders being closed and movement restricted.

This time the stay-at-home order was burning a hole in my patience pocket and I began looking for things to fight with my Spirit Guides about. It's not that there were not moments of peace and connectivity but I missed being in my garden and sitting under the trees, absorbing the energy of the place. Presently, all that I am allowed to do is to spend a few minutes each day making sure that my plants were not dying of thirst. That was not enough for an outdoors person like me — I am not outgoing, just outdoorsy.

Miss Gen Z, my daughter — you may have met her sometime in the past took to this lockdown like duck to water. She did not mind being up all night, doing God knows what, and sleeping all day.

“It makes the time go faster,” she confessed when asked about her strange sleeping pattern.

That luxury was not mine since I still had the stuff of the 9–5 to do; there were zoom meetings and administrative work, and report writing that took up a major part of my day.

I have been able to rise early and write and meditate and do yoga like the first major lockdown since there was no need to get ready and hurry to work. But during the moments when the flow was slow and thoughts of things that I prefer not to think about reared their heads, I got a bit peeved.

It’s the human in me, the human in all of us that get resentful when things are seemingly not going our way. And since I could not pick on my dogs and Miss Gen Z was asleep most of the time when I was awake, I took it out on my Spirit Guides.

We talk constantly and their every loving, cheery good mood was beginning to grate on my last nerve. They only see love and positivity and goodness and kindness and all that yabba dabba doo that I was not feeling lately.

And to make matters worse, I felt like they were moving too slow in helping me to bring the largest project of my life to a successful culmination and that did not sit well with me.

My attitude was frowsy but they didn’t care. My words were sharp and unkind, but they didn’t care; I accused them of not being supportive, but they didn’t care. They keep a warm loving presence around me and of course, I didn’t care.

I needed my plants and my garden and my bugs and birds and insects and bees and the mongoose family. I needed to connect with the greater part of who I am in the worst way.

So tomorrow is the day. I will be outside as soon as the cock begins to crow. I will dig my dirt in the soil and pull weeds with abandon. I will plant new sunflower seeds and collect the ripe mangoes from under the trees.

I will finally forgive my spirit guides for not being grumpy along with me. But I know it would not matter for they would not care.

I hope you enjoyed this story, and if you did, then here are two others about me and my spirit guides:-