The Daring Question That Spawned a Life-Long Friendship
One moment of bravery that is still paying off
At 5 years old, I met a girl that could write her name perfectly.
She had a good system that made her name look so easy to write.
I could write my name, too. But the capital ’N’ was the hardest part. For some reason, it just wouldn't lay the right way.
It wasn’t that I didn’t practice writing my name, because believe me, I wrote on everything I could, and some things I couldn't.
5 out of the 6 letters were correct, and that’s good enough in my book, literally. (See photo)
How she caught my attention on the first day
The parents were boohooing about dropping off their ‘babies’ as they left the classroom.
Only, we weren't babies anymore; we were full-on Kindergartners. Some of us could write our names already, you know?
That’s when I noticed her. She was writing her name on a dry erase board, and all of her letters were facing the right way, no backward funny business.
How does she do that? She made it look so easy. I was shocked by her skills and her confidence.
I knew right then and there, I had to make this girl my friend.
How does a shy kid make friends?
The bold way, I guess.
And it’s because of a conversation I had with my mom that morning.
“But how do I make friends?”
“Well, you just walk up to them and say, ‘Hi, do you want to be my friend?’ and that’s it.”
Simple enough.
That’s how people make friends, no big deal.
Kids are brave because they haven’t learned to be afraid yet.
If I was nervous, it wasn’t for long because I walked straight up to the perfect hand writer at recess.
There she was with her confidence, style, and pretty hair.
She was playing with another girl, but that didn’t scare me. The more friends, the better.
I stopped in front of them, and they looked at me.
The playground went quiet. Kids stopped jumping over jump ropes. Swings froze in mid-swing. A rubber kick-ball rolled to a stop and all eyes were on me.
I made eye contact with the genius, then with her friend, and back to her as the question formed in my dry mouth,
“Hi, do you want to be my friend?”
The words were out of me and there was no getting them back. My part was over, the rest was up to the universe. And these two sweet girls.
Everything was quiet except for my pounding heart.
Time was still in ultra-slow motion. The perfect name-writer glanced over to her friend and without saying anything, they both gave a nod and a shrug.
“Yeah. Okay!”
And just like that, I had two new friends. Time started rolling again and hasn’t slowed down for 29 years.
Moms know best, most of the time.
My mom told me to ask in the most direct way. I took her advice quite literally and it worked because:
- I was assertive and straight-to-the-point
- 5-year-olds haven't learned to be fearful or have self-doubt
- They didn’t have a choice, really. There were only 20 or so Kindergarteners and we were all destined to be friends.
The conversation with my mom had a big impact on our friend history. Another contributor to our history was the magician that taught her to write her name.
Her mom is truly one of a kind and a local legend. She used this clever story to teach her daughter to write her name.
Good friends are hard to find
Growing up, I was friends with everyone in my class (small school, but still) and now, I can count my friends on one hand.
Things are different now, maybe it’s just the way the world is, or it’s part of getting older, I’ll never know.
But I am blessed to have a friend who loves me.
Even after I’ve been distant, Even after I’ve been selfish, After I’ve done all sorts of stupid things, she shows up and shows love (and sometimes a little lecture).
We should cherish everyone in our lives, especially friends that we have known for a long time. Don’t take these friends for granted, as I have done before.
We get used to people being in our lives and sometimes it feels like autopilot. Or background music. We assume they will be there because they always have been, but that could change anytime.
Where would we be without those friends?
Who would we be without them?
Good relationships don’t require constant attention, sometimes people need to grow in different directions.
When paths meet again, it feels like we haven't skipped a beat.
That is what I have with the girl that could write her name perfectly.
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