The Cost of Being Too Nice in the Writing Industry
Being overly polite has a price tag in this field
It’s nice to be nice, but enough is enough.
Most of us were raised to be polite and maybe even selfless, and it’s a good attitude to have sometimes. But there are limits, and if you want to make it as a writer, you need to know where those limits are and stay on the right side of them.
The Consequences of Being Too Nice
Dishonest writing
If you’re focused on not stepping on any toes and not offending anyone, you’ll censor everything that can make your writing interesting and unique. Your story will be nothing more than bland platitudes.
He who dares not offend cannot be honest.—Thomas Paine
Express your opinions unapologetically. If you’re wrong, you can apologize for that later.
And write about whatever takes your fancy. Don’t avoid controversial topics. My best-performing article on Medium is one where I get into why neither reading nor writing will make you a good writer.
Constant self-doubt
I hand out praise like sweets on Halloween because I know writing is hard, but I don’t always mean what I say to the extent that I say it (though I am trying to get better about this).
I exaggerate. I act like a cheerleader.
Because of that, I don’t always believe people when they compliment my writing. I think they’re doing what I do, just being nice.
Being too nice is insecurity in disguise. Give in to it, and the insecurity grows, making you doubt yourself and hesitate, hindering your writing process.
An aversion to constructive criticism
The insecurities of people who are too nice turn even the most well-meaning piece of criticism into a personal attack.
Maybe you get defensive. Or maybe you get so depressed you give up on writing. But real, honest feedback is the only way you’re going to grow as a writer.
It’s all right not to agree with all the constructive criticism you receive, but make sure you consider it, objectively, before dismissing it or yourself.
Flat characters
Being too nice will make it harder to create complex and flawed characters (or do justice to real people).
No one wants to read about a character who’s practically perfect in every way unless it’s Mary Poppins. There’s no character arc for someone who’s always nice and right, no potential for growth.
Not to mention what niceness in writers does to villains. Forget dynamism and memorability. At best, they’ll be caricatures. At worst, they’ll be a bland, inoffensive cardboard cut-out of a person.
Being too nice will even affect how your characters interact, making it difficult to write authentic and relatable dialogue.
Uninteresting plots
If there’s no conflict, there’s no plot. So if you’re too nice to your characters, you can bet your story will be boring.
Stories are told from disaster, from characters wanting things and not getting them until they’ve overcome so much that they deserve a happy ending.
That’s where the emotional impact lies in stories, in the struggle.
Unoriginality
If you refuse to go against the flow, you’ll shy away from taking creative risks and exploring new ideas. You’ll play it safe and do what everyone else is doing.
In the process, you’ll sacrifice your unique writing style for what is considered marketable. But appealing to the masses doesn’t work like that.
A friend to all is a friend to none.—Aristotle
By trying to appeal to everyone, not only will you lose what makes you you, but chances are you won’t gain that many fans.
Goodbye boundaries
Speaking of fans, being too nice can lead to a lack of boundaries with readers. You’ll end up catering to people and doing things you don’t want to do.
Maybe you’ll even sacrifice your writing goals and dreams to please others.
A hard time getting published
The publishing industry is a poorly disguised battleground on which you have to stand up for yourself and your writing if you want to get ahead. No one is going to fight this fight for you.
You need to be assertive if you’re going to negotiate contracts, book deals, and fair compensation.
And you need to be confident enough to market and promote yourself and your work.
I’m not advocating for us all to become rude and unpleasant people, but there’s a fine line between being nice and turning into a smiling doormat.
Becoming the latter is never desirable, but it’s especially detrimental if you’re a writer. It’s not an easy profession, so if you don’t already have a backbone, you need to grow one.
You’ll be surprised how much easier it makes things and how much you can learn.
Thank you for reading!