My Transformation From Punk To Prolific Author

I wasn’t always the productive writer I am today. I had terrible times that almost destroyed me. But then came this one, memorable day.

I don’t know about you, but I always dreamed of having a great life, earning a lot of money and being happy and satisfied.

Instead, I let myself go for many years. I was lazy and angry at everything. I thought the world owed me something and was frustrated that I didn’t get it. I liked the role of the rebel spitting on everything.

But deep down, I knew I couldn’t go on like this forever. There was a small compass needle in my head that indicated the direction I had to go to reach my real goal.

I simply ignored it all the time because I was afraid of what I would find along the way. Also, of course, I had no idea what my real goal might be.

It could have gone on for years if it hadn’t been for one of those days that changed everything. There was nothing dramatic about what happened that day. Nobody died. There was no other catastrophe in my life. Everything that happened was a moment of self-reflection.

The low point I needed

I can’t remember which day of the week it was, and I can’t even remember which year. I only know that I was in the first semesters of my studies. For the first time, I lived entirely alone, and nobody told me what to do or not to do.

That evening I sat in my armchair in front of my little tube television, zapped bored between the few television programs I could receive, and suddenly paused.

I looked to the right. There was this little table that always stood next to my armchair, and on this table, there were five empty beer cans.

What the hell am I doing here? It shot through my head at that moment. I still vividly remember that moment when I had become aware of so much in one fell swoop.

It was a typical working day and the next day I had a seminar at the university. But I wouldn’t go because I would keep drinking and later go to the pub. The following day I would be much too tired, and I would just lie there.

I knew that because it had happened to me many times before. Suddenly I could no longer deny it: I had a problem. Actually, I even had a whole bag full of problems.

So I made a decision: I wouldn’t end up as a lonely drunk but would kick my ass and do something with my life.

How it went on after the low point

Life isn’t Hollywood.

The next day I went to university, and with a headache, I went through the seminar. Then I went home and lay down.

I didn’t start to learn obsessively, and I didn’t throw away my beer supplies.

From the outside, I hadn’t changed a bit.

But the small compass needle in my head had now grown a bit. I was aware of it now.

Many necessary changes I put off for years, but a few small things I changed immediately.

The most crucial change was this one: I suddenly believed that I had a choice. If I could have such a realization all by myself, as I had the night before, then everything was possible.

I could trust myself. There was something that tried to show me the right way, and that something, that was me.

In 1997 it was the ultimate opportunity to make a choice that would change my whole life. I met my current wife, and we decided to get married.

That was by far the craziest and most profound decision I had made in my whole life.

I was twenty-four years old and still went to university. I knew little to nothing about life and looked like a bag of potatoes in hippie clothes.

But this woman wanted me, and I was smart enough not to miss this opportunity. I took the risk, fully aware that it could end in disaster.

Today, twenty-two years later, I know that this decision was the best in my life. If I hadn’t gotten involved then, I would have missed my whole life.

Sometimes it only takes one time to be brave. When that courage is rewarded, there is a good chance that courage will become a habit. And with me, it was like that. All the good things that have happened to me since then were the result of a courageous decision.

Where I stand today

Since then, I have made many other right decisions.

I finished my studies, looked for a job, and then worked for fourteen years.

I dared to write a book, and then another and another.

Then, in November 2018, it was time for me to quit this job. Since then, I have been living only from writing.

Today I look back on twenty-nine published novels and two volumes of short stories. I have now sold over 200,000 books and earned over 160,000 euros from them.

The last big decision was made only a few months ago. I have decided to write more than just my books. I registered as an author on Medium, although English is not my mother tongue.

Where my further way will lead me, I do not know with certainty. But one thing is sure:

Without that bleak day in my small student apartment and the realization that suddenly hit me, I wouldn’t have the life I love so much today.

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