The Caller Said My Brother’s Been Shot.

I felt helpless and defeated, but these stories demonstrate an alternative approach to traumatic events; and thus, restore my faith in humanity.

I had just got home from work, when a call came in to say my brother had been shot, and was in the hospital.

How I got there safely, with my foot heavy on the accelerator, and street-lights dazzling the shuffling thoughts in my head, only God knows.

I’d recently come off the streets to walk a different path in life, but when I saw my younger brother lying bloody and bandaged on a hospital stretcher, that new me was nowhere to be found. My street-life connections were still intact, so getting hold of a gun was not an issue.

He had been shot in the leg at close range, and although he pulled through, the incident devastated the whole family. I wanted to retaliate. My mind battled with thoughts of finding the person who had done this and spraying a few bullets. But in truth, that just wasn’t my style. Even when I’d been on the streets, I didn’t roll like that.

But without an alternative approach I felt helpless and defeated. Yet, it doesn’t have to be that way. These stories demonstrate a different approach to facing traumatic events.

Adopting the Man who Murdered His Son

Ike Brown’s story made me feel proud that I hadn’t retaliated. Having vowed to seek revenge on anyone who ever messed with his children. On the 27th of May 2002, Ike’s twenty-one year old son, Ike Junior, was murdered by Takoya Criner.

Three years later, when Ike attended the killer’s trial. He recalls,

“The moment I laid eyes on him I loved him.”

Although confused, as to why he didn’t hate his son’s murderer, there was no doubt in his mind that he would forgive him. He just wanted to hug the thug. After Criner was found guilty and sentenced to life in prison. Ike often prayed for him. Three years later, Ike wrote a letter to the man who had killed his son that ended with:

“I need a favour from you. I miss my son, Ike Junior, and I’d like you to fill in for him until we all get to heaven.”

Three weeks later, he received a reply:

Dear Mr. Brown, “I now know that God is real. I told God, I wanted to hear from you and if I do, I’ll give my life to Him… I’m not qualified to fill in for your son, but if you’ll have me, from this day on, I’m your son and you’re my father.”

Ike adopted Takoya Criner in 2009, and continues to live, free from the clutches of any desire to seek revenge. Takoya has surrendered to the love and mercy of God manifesting through Ike. Despite still being in prison, he attests to a spiritual freedom.

Compassion Soften’s A Hardened Heart

Before twenty-two year old Vincente Rodriguez-Ortiz, was given a life sentence for murdering seventeen year old Andre Hawkins. Instead of expressing rage, Andre’s mother, Javika, extended her forgiveness, and said,

“In my heart I have no anger or bitterness towards you. As a mum I just want to hug you, because I know there’s something that’s not connected that makes you so angry.”

Javika Hawkins, looked from her heart to see the truth of Vincente’s heartlessness. Touching him where most, if not all, the people involved in his delinquency had never touched. Thus, he swallowed hard, and apologized to her.

As someone who pursued a criminal career, between the ages of ten and twenty-four, I celebrate Javika’s accurate diagnosis of this young man.

Your Honour, May I Hug My Brother’s Killer?

In 2018, A young policewoman finished a long day on duty, and went home to her apartment block. The car park levels and hallways on each floor were identical.

She lived on the 3rd floor, but mistakenly parked on the 4th. Walked down the hallway to find, what she thought was her front door, ajar. Cautiously entering the wrong apartment, she saw a silhouette at the rear. Which then came towards her in an inquisitive manner.

Fearing for her life, she shot and killed, Boatham Jean, an unarmed man, in his own home.

Amber Guyger, was found guilty of murder, and sentenced to ten years in prison. But not before her victim’s brother, Brandt, bought the court to tears. He forgave Amber for the killing and wished her all the best. Stating,

“I don’t even want you to go to jail.”

Brandt then asked the court if he could hug his brother’s killer.

Society Could Do With a Resuscitating Hug

Brandt’s unexpected mercy touched Amber deeply. He wanted no part of her imprisonment. He refuses to be an accessory to such a violation and fall in contempt of life.

His mercy rescued Amber from the prosecutor’s condemnation; and replaced it with a unique, genuine, and effective process of comeuppance. Hence, she fell into Brandt’s arms, like a lost child reuniting with her mummy.

Their embrace emanates a transformative force that can only be felt, and not seen, or put into words. It overrides blame, judgement, or any other ism; and breathes fresh life into a stale situation.

Compassion, remorse, and forgiveness, are important words, yet words all the same. Whereas, these expressions of life convey a level of purity seldom seen in society; and far surpass the common game of evaluation and infatuation, called love.

Love and hate, like exhalation and inhalation, are joined at the hip. But what we see here, is the power of neutrality; life’s purest state, known as equanimity. Manifested as the unification of all life forms. In particularly, the one human family.

Can anything less than inclusion be true love?

Blame and Judgement Pour’s Gasoline on Fires

Instead of meeting fire with fire, by casting more judgement upon the perpetrators. Ike Brown, Javika Hawkins and Brandt Jean, embraced them with humanitarian fluidity. Emitted from a seldom visited frequency of life. Beyond — not between — love and hate.

It’s unfortunate that precious lives are lost to demonstrate true life. The least we can do is to learn from them. Yes, the public must be protected, but the issue of protection seems to be entangled with the necessity for locking people up.

Although I sympathise with society’s limitations in addressing human behaviour. The limitations flag-up a deficient understanding of the human journey; and brings into question our understanding of empathy.

Can empathy be within our grasp while the core implications of intense and painful self-condemnation, or the consequences of penitence; in other words, genuine remorse, go unrecognised?

Judgement and Tension Share the Same Post Code

When they ambushed my brother in the dark. Neither of us knew the assailant, but word travels fast on the streets. Despite offers to meet the gunman’s fire with more fire, there were no reprisal attacks; and like everything else in this constantly changing existence, it’s now water under the bridge.

Recently though, I was captivated by a podcast interview of a man who spent two decades in prison; now rehabilitated and warning others of the entrapment. He mentioned people and locations I know of. But only near the end of the podcast did I catch his full name. Lo and behold, it was my brother’s assailant. I had been given his name a long time ago, but had no face to pin-it-on. Still, his story is a perfect fit.

The interviewee gained my respect as someone enduring his version of the numbness we all succumb to. How can I judge him for that? Then after realising who he is. I still couldn’t judge him for shooting my brother. On the contrary, a sense of closeness, a type of bond was felt.

Which provided some insight into the actions of Ike Brown, Javika Hawkins, and Brandt Jean. An insight existing in all of us. But conditioning, driven by blame and judgement, oppose the unification of the one human family.

Most of us are insensitive to the frequency of life displayed by Ike, Javika and Brandt, because we judge ourselves and others. A judgemental mind restricts our sensitivity to life.

Check this out:

The next time you feel tense, check to see what person, place, or thing you’re judging in that moment. Or, when you recognise you’re judging a person, place, or thing; check to see how tense you are.

You’ll learn through experience, that blame and judgement, fortifies the narrow mindset bubbling behind all global conflicts, large and small.

Thus, the removal of blame and judgement from our lives, results in pure unadulterated love.

Still, we cast judgement upon life, as if it can be wrong, or even right, for that matter.

Thank you for reading.

Kensu Fetsani.