GOP REEFER MADNESS
The Born Again Chicken Salesman
Who’s also a crazy tailback running for the senate
Run, Hershel, run Run through the end zone, to a different state, a foreign country, another planet — and take your rubber chickens with you
Oh Herschel, that dope you've been smokin' and the bible you've been thumpin' won't do a damn thing for this country because you don't know diddly about policy, and we're all wondering, Which personality are you now?
You could be a Georgia Bulldog or a crazy Dallas Cowboy — that Heisman Trophy doesn't mean squat Maybe you can use a trick play with your fans, but you can't fool me with your fake UGA degree
How could you keep your child a secret? How could you be a deadbeat dad? Why did you say you were a valedictorian? Why did you claim you worked for the FBI? And what about your magical Covid killing spray?
Oh, Herschel, what reefer madness you possess, what an opportunist, a right-wing delusion-ist, a buffoonery specialist — and, of course, an ex-wife abuse-ist
I don't care if Jesus loves you, or if you rushed for over a thousand yards — you're a conspiracy spreader, a circus clown in a funny car, and a former NFL player still in concussion protocol
Oh, Herschel, you bobsledding lamebrain, Kung fu idiot, Trump athletic supporter, and a repository for unwanted personalities wrapped into a 6'1" 225-pound frame playing with our country's balls and yanking our collective chain.
And thank the football Gods that Herschel fumbled at the goal line and lost in the election.
© 2022 Mark Tulin
Here’s another funny one from Mark Tulin:
