The Books are the life — and WiFi too!

The TV…not so much

The wonderful Lynn L. Alexander asks: If you had to give up books, TV, or wifi for a month, which would you choose?

This is a no-brainer for me: TV

The Blood — no, the Books — are the Life!

Maybe it’s because my mother would force me to watch at least an hour of TV a day when I was a little girl. Since neither of my parents were native English speakers, they figured the only way I would ever learn English properly was by watching TV. Being forced to watch it, therefore, felt like a chore. (I’m well aware I’m probably one of the very kids who thought this!) I’d rather be flipping through my Dr. Seuss or my 10-book set of the Children’s Encyclopedia! And of course, my beloved set of Mom’s Time-Life art books.

Trouble was, there wasn’t a great deal of TV I wanted to watch then. I was quickly turning into a horror aficionado as a child, but there were too few choices, with the possible exception of the Twilight Zone. After all, I was growing in the 1960s and 70s — nearly two decades before the widespread advent of cable. So, as many of you already know from my articles on horror, I was only able to enjoy horror on weekends with Scooby Doo in the mornings and Creature Feature or Ghost story/Circle of Fear in the evenings. My parents didn’t usually get up in time for Scooby, but Mom would always watch the evening horror shows with me–and I always looked forward to our together time.

The only daytime shows that marginally captivated me were Sesame Street and Electric Company which I watched for a year or so before getting bored. Then I decided comedy was actually pretty fun as I watched I Dream of Jeannie and the Carol Burnett show. My faves, in other words, were horror and humor, genres which are not entirely unrelated given their reliance on surprises and the unexpected!

But books were still my entertainment of choice — especially after my 8th birthday. By then, as I’m sure I’ve mentioned elsewhere, I had become much more of a reader, devouring a steady stream of Nancy Drews, one book per week. A trip to the bookstore or local department store on Friday evenings — back in the days when department stores actually had a book section — was always something to look forward to. It was my treat for the week, especially if I did well on a test.

How I loved going to bookstores and libraries on the weekend as a child: and this was WAY before bookstores were equipped with snacks, shakes, and hot chocolate! (I would discuss the Marshall Field’s book department which took up an entire floor in the 1970s, but will save it for another story…) The local branch of the New York Public Library, the libraries of Hightstown and Cranbury, as well as the Princeton University Library, were all second homes to me.

Ordering and receiving the Scholastic books I ordered were even more exciting treats — as was getting the monthly Highlights magazine in the mail. As a kid, you’re almost always thrilled to receive new things particularly when they arrive somewhat unexpectedly like a special gift. Little did I know just then that in the next thirty years, nearly all of my books would be purchased online and shipped to me. In fact, I still get a little excited when I receive a book that I’m itching to read (that is, if I don’t have it on Kindle).

Little changed through my adult years, even when cable finally arrived. Although I was now of an age to be more curious about great movie classics that featured the likes of Katharine Hepburn, Fred Astaire, and Grace Kelly, I was still not much of a TV watcher — except for Married with Children, which I watched regularly, and the once-in-a-blue-moon horror movie.

Even when studying at Oxford and trying to absorb as much of English culture as I possibly could, my hours on the telly (as it is referred to there) did not rise dramatically despite my spending twice as much time than at home: it was now two hours a week — sometimes three. I made a point of enjoying my Friday nights by watching a string of comedies like Goodness Gracious Me, Blackadder, and Harry Enfield. On other weekdays, I looked forward to Men behaving Badly and Absolutely Fabulous. I still recall the wonderful Christmas vacation of 1998 when Mom stayed for a month, when we truly piled on the TV-watching nearly every night after dinner with movies like Chitty, Chitty, Bang, Bang, The Sound of Music, The Omen, The Wiz, and Tales from the Crypt.

The “internets”

It was only shortly before the completion of my doctorate in 2000 that I discovered the internet: thank God — as I wasted hours on the computer. I remember that embarrassing time when a new student orientation group was passing through the Bodleian library, and here I was–-scrolling through images of shaded silver Persian cats. Everyone laughed. The week after I submitted my thesis, I was off to the computer center at the north end of Oxford where I spent full workdays from 9 to 5 exploring the “internets.” Then I’d return to my flat to gaze at the “internets” once more, albeit at a much slower pace given the extremely limited capabilities of dial-up back then.

Today, I fully rely on my WiFi for nearly every aspect of my life: teaching, editing, researching, shopping, socializing, listening to music — and yes, writing on Medium! I do all of my Zoom meetings with my book writers from the laptop just as I use my phone or table. I buy the vast majority of my books on Amazon or Alibris. I buy most of my clothes on eBay, and every once in a while on jcp.com, ralphlauren.com, chicos.com, and talbots.com while shopping for groceries on Instacart. I research my 18th-century sources online through my university website. I also prefer reading on Kindle now because it’s easier to hold a phone than a book in bed. In short, my internet connection is no longer for mere entertainment even though I’m fully aware I still browse more than I should.

Not surprisingly, when there’s a power outage or the WiFi is not working, I go a little insane in the brain — like a vampire with no access to blood. The WiFi — like my books — are the life, as the mad Renfield might say. (Yeah, I know, WiFi doesn’t have the same ring as blood…but it sorta rhymes with life!)

I already mentioned my 10-day Snowtober mishap here — but that was well before I was actively editing or writing on Medium. Even candlelight book reading was a chore: which made me admire all pre-20th-century writers and musicians all the more. What would it have been like not just to read, but to write with only a candle or two? Every day?

After all, it was bad enough in late June, when all of a sudden, I lost my WiFi for one day. I experienced a mild panic attack when I rebooted my modem several times and nothing worked. Then I spent hours on the phone with my provider. Luckily, the folks on my editing team were pretty sympathetic about extending deadlines as well as my own editor for the chapter I was writing. I would now have to pray that every now and then I might get a signal on my phone or tablet. I was thankful that every now and then I was able to go online. Even then, I felt cursed.

But a miracle of miracles happened the next day: imagine my ecstasy when my WiFi was suddenly restored the next morning. I could sing the Ode to Joy!

As for the TV these past 8 years? I haven’t watched it at all–not since my late father messed it up in 2016. Stressed out from writing my book, teaching, and taking care of him, I couldn’t be bothered to waste hours on the phone to restore it so it has just sat there. Not to mention that on previous occasions when I turned on the TV, I would think of all the times I had watched it with Mom. Watching TV without her was just not the same. But since I have subscriptions to Prime and Netflix while also watching youtube, I really don’t need a TV any more. I love watching movies on the phone while lying in bed.

Ultimately, you could say I am literally and figuratively hung up on WiFi!