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Abstract

nvestment. If a grown woman tells me she is into me (as well as her husband), then I see them as prospective swinger friends. And yeah, I want to fuck them <b><i>both</i></b>. My husband wants to fuck her and wants me to get my time with her, too.</p><p id="d24c">So, when you lie to all of us about what you are actually into, you are tainting the experience for all of us. You are possibly ruining my ability to see past the <i>lie you told</i> and still fuck your husband — so for him. If I leave, then so does Mr. Black — so for you. And for me, well, if you were a big part of the draw for me, then yeah — for me.</p><h1 id="975b">It Is Okay To Be Straight</h1><p id="d8cc">There are many women that are only attracted to men. This happens in both the swinging and vanilla worlds. And you know what? This is totally fine, and many would argue “normal.” When another woman is attracted to my husband, how can I be mad? The entire point of being in the swinging community is to share my husband with other women. In fact, I thoroughly enjoy watching my husband fuck other women. I do not always <i>have</i> to be involved in this process (well, besides fucking <i>her</i> husband in turn — by choice).</p><blockquote id="52c0"><p><b>It is okay to be straight in the lifestyle.</b></p></blockquote><p id="9efd">In fact, if you have more straight inclinations and are very upfront with me from the get-go, I will not ask about girl play at all. I typically don’t ask these questions when a woman is listed as “straight” on her profile. I never assume and I never push the issue. Yet, if you are listed as bisexual, then yeah, there is a good chance I will ask these questions if I’m attracted. At least when a woman is honest about not being into other chicks, I will know not to push the issue and will be very respectful of her lack of desire towards the same sex.</p><h1 id="4abf">Doing Things You Are Not Comfortable With</h1><p id="c330">Certain women like to use their sexuality as a tool to please all involved. I’ve heard the term “put on a show for the boys” or “only when I’m drunk” used to describe any female-female play they are willing to participate in. I am an avid believer that this type of play gives the entire swinging community a bad name. It creates a culture where women are seen as entertainment and that one woman should be forced to have sex with another one to turn on their male counterparts. At the heart of it, swinging is anything but <i>that.</i></p><p id="0680">The truth is most bisexual women will be able to tell whether you are into it or not. If a woman really doesn’t want me eating her pussy, it will be easy to figure that out very quickly. This also tells me that she is either pretending to be into women for her husband or she is not comfortable enough in her own sexuality to be jumping into the deep end. The latter is fine but should be discussed beforehand to prevent any awkward situations or her being pushed to do something she’s not ready for yet.</p><h1 id="85a3">Climax</h1><p id="d0c0">Pretending to be bisexual in the swinging lifestyle is a hot-button topic for many couples. The underlining culture in the lifestyle is that

Options

all women are bi and all men are straight — which we all know is ridiculous. Assumptions like this are dangerous and can create unpleasant situations for all involved.</p><p id="3f3e">Husbands do not push your wives to play with other women if they are not sexually attracted to women. Women do not list yourselves as bisexual if you are not sexually attracted to both men <i>and</i> women. If you are interested in other women but inexperienced or unsure, then put that in your profile! The lifestyle can be a great <a href="https://readmedium.com/sealed-with-a-kiss-awakening-my-bisexuality-dad2164fddf">way to explore</a> that at the speed you want to in a totally comfortable setting.</p><p id="24c9">Just don’t lie. Don’t pretend to be something you are not. Don’t offer someone a sexual experience that you have zero intention of following through on. Also, don’t put yourself in a situation where you are doing something you don’t actually want to be doing.</p><p id="60ae">Honesty will attract “your people” in the lifestyle — the ones that you are not only a sexual match but have other similar wants, needs, and ideas of what the lifestyle should look like. This is the <a href="https://readmedium.com/being-a-swinger-makes-me-a-better-person-2e581d7a5802">entire point</a> of swinging.</p><p id="7536"><i>© 2021 Keeva Black. All Rights Reserved</i></p><p id="0430"><b><i>Reading suggestions:</i></b></p><div id="56d5" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/theres-no-such-thing-as-very-bi-832d6ea387b3"> <div> <div> <h2>There’s No Such Thing As “Very Bi”</h2> <div><h3>Sexuality is not something that can be made into a competition.</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*zzwosdEImHVtpN3knAwu6w.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><div id="31dd" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/5-types-of-swingers-to-avoid-988c405af279"> <div> <div> <h2>5 Types of Swingers to Avoid</h2> <div><h3>Run as fast as you can.</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*fOCQR1A4SHM3gvgctIsy8w.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><div id="638e" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/rewriting-the-classics-acf8809503b2"> <div> <div> <h2>Rewriting the Classics</h2> <div><h3>A girl on girl epic lovemaking session for the ages</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*MUQtGaeKmnEzM6aSJHc5vw.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div></article></body>

The Bisexual Female Masquerade in the Swinging Community

Why it is a serious problem in the lifestyle

“The female half of the couple enjoys other women and girl/girl time.”

“Open to f/f play…”

“Woman, 37, Bisexual”

A great deal of swinger dating profiles across the net indicate the other female’s interest in the same sex. When I, as a bisexual female swinger, read that the female half is bisexual, I get excited. Of course, factors such as 4-way attraction and other compatibility factors play a factor, but the option for some “girl time” is always an exciting possibility.

After we meet over a casual dinner, the lights go down and the clothes come off and then the worse thing possible happens.

She’s just not that into girls.

She has failed to mention this in any of our numerous conversations, our dinner together, or even before our clothes were on the floor

Imagine my horror when I’m sitting here, horny for a woman’s touch and as it turns out…the woman is not even a little bit into not just me, but any woman.

Many, many times women (or their husbands) will list themselves as bisexual, bi-curious, bi-open, or bi-comfortable. All of the above are awesome! But, there is an underlining theme with many women — they are actually straight. They have zero interest in other females.

Why would a couple put this up? Well, the short answer is to draw other couples in. The most common and “standard” of lifestyle couples is the straight male/bisexual female. In fact, so much so that if you don’t fit this mold, you are almost considered the odd man out. Yet, pretending to be something you clearly are not is not only deceitful but extremely disrespectful.

You Are Taking Away From All Involved

Listing yourself as bisexual when you aren’t might seem sweet and innocent, but to women like me (bisexual) it is a big deal. As adults, I assume we all know what to identify ourselves as in terms of our sexuality. Sure, bi-curious and the other options in the same vein are something entirely different. Many swinger dating sites have options for those inclinations. Listing yourself as a true bisexual tells me that you are DTF if the connection is right. This means real sex — scissoring, cunnilingus, fingering, strap-ons, and whatever else can occur between two women between the sheets.

If I’m investing my time into a couple with a bisexual female that I hope to also play with, then I want a return on my investment. If a grown woman tells me she is into me (as well as her husband), then I see them as prospective swinger friends. And yeah, I want to fuck them both. My husband wants to fuck her and wants me to get my time with her, too.

So, when you lie to all of us about what you are actually into, you are tainting the experience for all of us. You are possibly ruining my ability to see past the lie you told and still fuck your husband — so for him. If I leave, then so does Mr. Black — so for you. And for me, well, if you were a big part of the draw for me, then yeah — for me.

It Is Okay To Be Straight

There are many women that are only attracted to men. This happens in both the swinging and vanilla worlds. And you know what? This is totally fine, and many would argue “normal.” When another woman is attracted to my husband, how can I be mad? The entire point of being in the swinging community is to share my husband with other women. In fact, I thoroughly enjoy watching my husband fuck other women. I do not always have to be involved in this process (well, besides fucking her husband in turn — by choice).

It is okay to be straight in the lifestyle.

In fact, if you have more straight inclinations and are very upfront with me from the get-go, I will not ask about girl play at all. I typically don’t ask these questions when a woman is listed as “straight” on her profile. I never assume and I never push the issue. Yet, if you are listed as bisexual, then yeah, there is a good chance I will ask these questions if I’m attracted. At least when a woman is honest about not being into other chicks, I will know not to push the issue and will be very respectful of her lack of desire towards the same sex.

Doing Things You Are Not Comfortable With

Certain women like to use their sexuality as a tool to please all involved. I’ve heard the term “put on a show for the boys” or “only when I’m drunk” used to describe any female-female play they are willing to participate in. I am an avid believer that this type of play gives the entire swinging community a bad name. It creates a culture where women are seen as entertainment and that one woman should be forced to have sex with another one to turn on their male counterparts. At the heart of it, swinging is anything but that.

The truth is most bisexual women will be able to tell whether you are into it or not. If a woman really doesn’t want me eating her pussy, it will be easy to figure that out very quickly. This also tells me that she is either pretending to be into women for her husband or she is not comfortable enough in her own sexuality to be jumping into the deep end. The latter is fine but should be discussed beforehand to prevent any awkward situations or her being pushed to do something she’s not ready for yet.

Climax

Pretending to be bisexual in the swinging lifestyle is a hot-button topic for many couples. The underlining culture in the lifestyle is that all women are bi and all men are straight — which we all know is ridiculous. Assumptions like this are dangerous and can create unpleasant situations for all involved.

Husbands do not push your wives to play with other women if they are not sexually attracted to women. Women do not list yourselves as bisexual if you are not sexually attracted to both men and women. If you are interested in other women but inexperienced or unsure, then put that in your profile! The lifestyle can be a great way to explore that at the speed you want to in a totally comfortable setting.

Just don’t lie. Don’t pretend to be something you are not. Don’t offer someone a sexual experience that you have zero intention of following through on. Also, don’t put yourself in a situation where you are doing something you don’t actually want to be doing.

Honesty will attract “your people” in the lifestyle — the ones that you are not only a sexual match but have other similar wants, needs, and ideas of what the lifestyle should look like. This is the entire point of swinging.