The resolutions you can use to make your New Year the best one yet

Resolutions aren’t just a fad — they’re a powerful way to change your life in a number of ways.

by: E.B. Johnson

The end of the year is fast approaching and that means, for many of us, a time for reflection and focus on what comes next. Millions of people around the globe will be sitting down to hash out their list of goals for the next year, but millions of them will fail to meet even a single one. New Year’s resolutions are a joke when we don’t know how to use them. But when we do? The results can be truly spectacular.

New Year’s resolutions, at their heart, are goals that we set for our lives. They can provide guidance and direction, but they can also give us a purpose and help us to cultivate true transformation. All of that comes down to setting realistic resolutions, however, and goals that we can not only stick to, but enjoy tackling. Like any other goal, New Year’s resolutions (truly good ones) have to be aligned to who we are; and that’s something that requires both personal truth and personal understanding. Both things come when we focus, simplify and break things down.

What a good resolution looks like.

It’s no secret that more than half of all New Year’s resolutions fail. For this reason, many of us view the whole process as a joke, but they can actually provide a lot of benefit to our lives when we know how to use them. Creating a workable resolution is one that takes a lot of time and introspection but it also requires a lot of coming to terms with who we are and what we want. If we want to create a New Year’s goal we can stick to, we have to know what that looks like first (and it isn’t always as easy as whipping up a new yoga routine).

The primary reason that most resolutions fail is that they’re not the right resolutions to begin with. We get a lot of external pressure from the people around us to do certain things or believe a certain way, and our resolutions are no different. Thanks to the influence of media, magazines and our friends and our family — many of us believe a resolution must be dramatic and swift. The truth, however, is that true change happens when we get realistic about both what we want and what we can really do.

Just like any goal we set for ourselves, our resolutions should be SMART; meaning they should be specific, measurable, achievable, relevant and time-bound. We don’t just wake up and change our lives. We make small changes, over time, which add up to big results. All change is a journey, and a good resolution fits into that journey in a way that allows us to move forward comfortably. Don’t set goals that require you to be uncomfortable, in pain or struggling more than you were the year before. Instead, focus on creating small, realistic resolutions that can help you transform your overall picture.

How new year goals can help us thrive.

New Year’s resolutions aren’t just rubbish. When we know how to create them efficiently, they can actually add a lot of value to our experience. Creating goals that are aligned to who we are and what we want improves our self-esteem, but it can also boost our health and help us to take control. Goals that are our own are powerful things, but setting them up often requires the motivation of knowing how you can bloom within them.

Improved sense of self

Setting good, solid goals for the new year requires digging deep into who we are and — with that — comes an improved sense of self. Realistic resolutions motivate us, but only when they are connected with who we are authentically. Getting to these roots requires spending a lot of time with who we are, which then can help to improve our self-esteem and our sense of who we are and where we want to go.

Boosted health

Perhaps most common among New Year’s resolutions is that of the health resolution. Millions of people around the world commit to getting healthy as the calendar changes over, tranforming everything from the way they eat to the way they exercise. This can have numerous benefits to our health when we stick with these goals; leading to boosted immune systems, better stamina and increased heart health just to name a few.

Taking control

Setting resolutions that are entirely our own can enable us to take control of our lives in new and powerful ways. The start of the new year is a cleaning of the slate, and a chance to do things from a new starting point. Whether you decide to take charge of your health, or take charge of the way things move within your personal and professional lives — when we set resolutions that are our own, we create new opportunities and effect change from our own will (rather than that of others).

The best resolutions you can use to improve your life in 2020.

When it comes down to it, resolutions should be simple in nature and something we can do with minimal stress or upheaval in our lives. While it might be nice to set out in the new year with a goal of “conquering it all” — we’ll find that our new years resolutions are much more successful when we break them down by category and simplify and unify them. Below are a few examples of great places to start; whether you’re looking to focus on your romantic partnerships or career paths, health or self.

For your relationships:

Looking to make your friendships or marriage stronger? Be more social, get clear about your needs and focus on leaning into your passions and gratitude.

Be more social

When we allow our relationship to become too insulated, we can find ourselves unhappy, bickering or entirely isolated from the other relationships and experiences we need to be happy. Getting more social, and committing to getting outside of our comfort zones, can help us as not only individuals but as couples, partners and friends too. Be more social, and reach out to friends and family that open the experiences you share together and apart. We have to grow as individuals in order to grow as lovers or spouses.

Get clear about your needs

In order to be create truly fulfilling and happy partnerships, we have to get clear about what we want but also what we need. That takes time, and it takes some brutal internal honesty, but it also requires opening up and sharing these discoveries with your partner. Only when we are clear about what we need can we set fair expectations for both parties, and therefore limit the conflict and heartache that relationships can bring.

Try being appreciative

When we’ve spent a long time with someone, or we come to know them well, we can sometimes lose sight of everything they do for us; as well as the unique perspectives that make them particularly invaluable in our lives. A great way to reinstate this in any relationship is to focus on incorporating more appreciation and gratitude into your interactions with them. That means looking every day for something to be grateful for, and making that gratitude known to your partner, friend or family member by both word and deed.

Lean into passion

Losing our passion can mean a lot of things for our relationships, but it primarily means a death of intimacy and a death of the closeness that happy partnerships require. Passion isn’t just about sex. It’s about being connected and feeling that desire to share similar journeys and experiences together. By leaning back into our passions for our partners, we can reconnect with that zest that drives us on toward the same futures. It takes commitment every day, however, and not just for a few weeks out of the year.

For your career:

Careers are important. Not only do they allow us to pay our bills and put food on the table, but they also can provide a sense of purpose or fulfillment when they’re aligned with who we are. If you’re looking to boost your professional career in the new year, try these 3 basic goals.

Stabilize your footing

Before we can aim for the stars, we have to make sure the foundations we’re standing on are stable. Talking careers or job prospects, that means securing our present position before reaching for another. We can do this by fully committing to where we are and mastering it in its entirety. Doing this not only lends confidence and increased experience, it also adds value in ways that can unlock new opportunities and visibility for us — whatever direction we’re aiming to take.

Dump the dead weight

Frequently, we get so busy fighting our way forward that we forget to cut free the baggage of the past. When it comes to our careers, it’s imperative that we frequently pause, and take a step back to assess where we’re at and what’s no longer working. You can’t climb a ladder unless you learn how to let something else go, so use the new year to shed those things which no longer suit the direction you want to take in your career.

Aim high

If you’re looking to bag that promotion or score that big bonus in the new year, the fact of the matter is that you have to aim high enough to hit it. For those ambitious goal-setters out there, one of the best ways to boost your career is to start taking action that leads you toward the mile-high goals you’re striving for. You’ll get that promotion or that foothold that you need when you swing big and prove that you have more value now than you did yesterday, and an infinite potential for more if unbridled.

For yourself:

Our New Year’s resolutions should be — inherently — about our own personal experiences, though that sometimes includes caring for others. Only when we truly learn how to care for ourselves can we unlock the understanding and compassion we need to thrive. Thankfully, we can get a good start on that in the new year by cultivating a few basics in and around our lives.

Invest in self-care

Self-care is one of the most important parts of becoming who we truly are, and it has some truly transformative benefits. It’s easy, however, to lose sight of that when we’re consumed by the demands of our day-to-day lives. One of the best and simplest ways to make a splash in the new year is simply to commit to taking better care of your internal self. This means taking your internal temperature regularly, and creating space in your life for you and you alone. But it also means getting familiar with who you are and what you truly want from the relationships and experiences in this life.

Learn how to enjoy yourself

We have to learn how to enjoy this life, despite its ups and downs, in order to be truly fulfilled with this life. Focus on making yourself as happy and as comfortable as you make your boss, your partner or your children. Rather than just looking out for the joy of everyone around you, start looking for your own too. Reach for the things you enjoy, and make your own enjoyment as important as that of anyone else around you — no matter who they are.

Be more giving

Though we tend to make our New Year’s resolutions about ourselves, finding the right level of focus in others can be a great fertilizer for our own personal blooming and transformation. When we learn how to give to others (appropriately) we unlock secret parts of ourselves that allow for fulfillment, empowerment and more. Helping others elevates our own sense of purpose and even our self-esteem when utilized correctly, and it gives us that fuzzy glow that inspires resilience and compassion.

Have more patience

We all have a tendency to extend more patience to our friends, family and lovers than we do to ourselves. If you’re looking to create a resolution you can approach simply, but that lands with big results, try building up a practice of patience for yourself, as well as trust in the journey and the things that you both need and want from the people and experiences in your life.

For your health:

There is, perhaps, no bigger resolution category than that of personal health. From crash diets to gym memberships that never get used — changing our fitness or our shape doesn’t have to be an overwhelming process. It can be as simple as getting better sleep and tweaking our diets little-by-little.

Get more sleep

Sleep is an important part of our physical health, but it’s often one of the first things up on the chopping block when life gets stressful. A simple way to focus on a more healthy new year isn’t in booking a new personal trainer or going on the latest fad diet. Often, it’s simply about ensuring you get enough hours of sleep each night, and sleep that’s of high-enough quality to fuel your body and your mind.

Adjust your diet

Many leap into the new year with radical diet and exercise plans that lends themselves to little else outside of major disappointment. Grandiose and radical goals — more often than not — lead to failure within weeks because they are outside of what we realistically can demand from ourselves. Rather than starving ourselves or jumping into some extensive dieting plan, we can improve our health by improve the quality of the food we eat and the simplicity of the meals we cook.

Spend more time outside

Spending time outside is a great way to improve your health, and do it easily. Stepping away from the desk and getting outdoors has been proven to improve short term memory, spark inspiration and even decrease stress levels. Taking just 20 minutes out of your day to get some fresh air lowers levels of cortisol in the body and makes us not only more resilient to stress, but more resilient to pesky aches and pains as well. Getting out in the great wide open for a walk or a run boosts positivity and enhances our creative functions.

Putting it all together…

Though New Year’s resolutions often get a bad rap, they can actually lead to great success when you know how to create them and utilize them efficiently. Any goal — no matter what time of the year we set it — requires us to be realistic with our time and our energy, but it also requires us to be honest about who we are and what we want. If our resolutions don’t align with our authentic self, they’ll never stick. By keeping it simple and keeping it focused, we can create New Year goals that not only work for us, but help us to transform our lives little by little.

Be smart about the goals you want to set, but be specific too. Get honest with your sense of self, and break things down by category to make it easier to sort through. Keep it simple. If you want to work on your relationship, start small with little practices that are easy to utilize like going on a few more social outings, or practicing a little more vocal gratitude. Likewise, when it comes to your career and your health: you don’t have to make any major overhauls. Figure out where you want to go and change things incrementally by adding value to the point you’re at, or by tweaking your diet or the number of hours you get to sleep each night. New Year’s resolutions don’t have to be impressive, and they don’t have to have instantaneous results. Start small by focusing on self-care and set resolutions that are not only easy to stick to, but enjoyable. Change doesn’t have to be a painful process. It just needs to be a consistent one. Chip away at what you want every day with New Year’s resolutions that work for you and you alone.