The Bad Vacation: A Historic Jail With a Difference
Littledean Jail was not quite what we were expecting
Badform asked for stories about Bad Vacations and this prison visit sprung to mind!
We were on holiday in the Wye Valley back in 2013 when it was freezing cold and snowing, so we decided to visit a jail for a tour of the history of crime and punishment — you know the usual thing, with mannequins of the prisoners and information about life in an Oldie Worldie jail.
The jail in question was Littledean Jail, which certainly lived up to our expectation of being warmer than the frosty chill outside. But that’s pretty much where our expectations ended and a whole new adventure began.
Let’s start with the wholesome bit — the history…
This listed building was built towards the end of the 18th century and the first prisoner was admitted in 1791. His name was Joseph Marshall, a 19-year-old labourer, imprisoned for stealing a spade. Convicts were imprisoned for a wide range of crimes, from petty theft to fraud, and from prostitution to violent crime.
Between 1837 and 1838 three babies were born in the jail but only one survived. Then in 1874, the jail became a police station and a petty sessional court. The police station closed in 1972 and the last court session was held in 1985.
After changing hands a few times, it became a visitor attraction, but perhaps not quite in the way you might expect…
We were expecting to see old cells, a few mannequins dressed as prisoners, and to get a detailed account of the lives of prisoners, their crimes and punishments. Instead we found ourselves surrounded by film memorabilia and erotica.
Now I like a bit of Freddie Krueger as much as the next girl. And this model was right up my street. Some of the exhibitions about television and movies were quite appealing, even if they weren’t what we’d expected to find in a historic jail.
The film merchandise and collectibles are fun if you like sci-fi and horror — and are not easily offended. But as we walked towards the cells, there were celebrity newspaper clippings and pictures of boobs everywhere (page 3 girls for anyone familiar with the British press).
I started to feel embarrassed just for being there! No, I didn’t photograph it. That would have been weird. But this image gives you a sense of the how the walls were plastered with newspaper cuttings.
There’s other interesting stuff though — not just movies and boobs. There’s a Nazi exhibition, which was sobering, and a small area shows how the cells might have looked when it was working prison. Newspaper clippings show crimes through the ages, and there is a Quadrophenia exhibition in another block, with scooters and stuff from the 1970s.
However, the historical interest seemed to be secondary because so many exhibits were newspaper clippings of half-naked celebrities. The walls were plastered with them.
There’s also an exhibition of sex toys — I’m no prude, honest guv, but it’s not what we were there for — and I already felt embarrassed to be surrounded by boobs. It was a bit like walking into a brothel when you thought you were going for a drink in a bar — and you didn’t quite know where to look. So we gave the sex toy room a miss.
We tried to focus on the more wholesome exhibits on prison life, crime and punishment, and then left in search of more wholesome entertainment in the Forest of Dean nearby.
© Susie Kearley 2022. All Rights Reserved.
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