The Asparagus Prompt

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id="bf01">I have looked north and south, east and west, and high and low for wild asparagus here on the Great Plains of Turtle Island where I live but I have never found any. Along with the absence of mountains, it is one of several things that disappoint me about the plains.</p><p id="da63">Back when I lived high up in the Rocky Mountains I ate wild asparagus almost every time my wolf-dog Shawnee took me for a walk out in the country during springtime. It grew all over the place, especially alongside creeks, ditches, and fences.</p><p id="6444">When I saw some I would stoop down and pinch a spear and immediately plop it into my mouth. I have never eaten cooked wild asparagus. Only raw. And there would never be more than one second of time between the time I pinched it and the time it ended up in my mouth. There was no time for the flavor or nutrients or <i>chi</i> to dissipate. If I was some kind of bovine creature I would not have even needed hands. I would just chomp it with my mouth. Those hoofed animals are so lucky. They don’t lose any <i>chi</i> when eating in the wild.</p><p id="57bd">Wild asparagus is smaller than farmed asparagus but it has more flavor. It probably has more nutrients, too. And it does not have any of the toxic chemicals that ‘modern farming’ insists on using.</p><p id="c523">Speaking of four-legged creatures, my wolf-doggie liked asparagus, too. But she would not eat wild asparagus or cooked asparagus. She preferred the raw asparagus stalks from the grocery store. Of course, I quickly learned that asparagus did the same thing to her urine as it did to mine so I never gave her more than a couple of stalks. She produced enough strong odors and didn’t need to produce more.</p><p id="e8e8">My doggie would eat just about anything. She loved carrots and celery and cabbage and other veggies that start w

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ith a ‘<i>c</i>.’ Once she ate a football.</p><p id="9fe6">Speaking of urine, one of the things I liked about wandering out in the wilderness with my doggie is that if I had to pee I just unzipped, slung it out, and peed. We guys are so lucky. I’ve always preferred peeing out-of-doors. I like the fact that I am returning my pee to the natural world as the Goddess intended instead of contributing to a municipal waste water treatment facility. I have fertilized a lot of wild plants.</p><p id="7f81">The weird thing about peeing out-of-doors is that whenever I did it my doggie would immediately start peeing, too. Even if she only had a few drops, if I was peeing she had to be peeing, too. Isn’t that cute?</p><p id="c111">Well, the snow from the other day has finally melted. It is April. Spring is only about 7 to 10 days away — if it arrives on time. I wonder what other springtime memories will surface in the old noggin.</p><p id="03db">Hmm, now I’m wondering what I’m going to have for lunch today…</p><p id="b3a3"><i>Copyright by <a href="https://whitefeather.substack.com/"><b>White Feather</b></a>. All Rights Reserved.</i> <a href="https://readmedium.com/white-feather-archive-index-c95167f7dbaf"><b>White Feather Archive Index</b></a></p><p id="a448"><i>Speaking of hooved animals…</i></p><div id="20d4" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/walking-the-goat-633a4e5d488d"> <div> <div> <h2>Walking the Goat</h2> <div><h3>On a hot summer day</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*_wqUMZNU1WDA2cnRh8RwxA.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div></article></body>

Fond memories of springtime

For me, it is difficult to write with a full bladder. Apparently, the bladder and the noggin are somehow connected. Maybe that is just me. I don’t know.

So late yesterday afternoon I was about to sit down at my laptop to see if there were any words that wanted to come out. But first I went to the bathroom to pee. That is when everything changed. Why? Because that is when I was reminded that I had asparagus for lunch.

The next thing I knew my noggin was bubbling over with memories about asparagus. Apparently, our noses are connected to our noggin, too. Suddenly, there was an onslaught of words about asparagus that wanted to come out.

Asparagus is one of my favorite veggies — but only if it is not over cooked. I have attended a few dinner parties where asparagus was served that was boiled for so long that there was absolutely no flavor or nutrition left in it. Asparagus must never be boiled! That is a culinary sin that will land you in Hell’s kitchen. Asparagus should only be lightly steamed; no more than 2 to 5 minutes. There should still be some crispiness to it. The flavor and nutrients and chi drain out of asparagus very quickly. (And chi is one of the main reasons we eat.)

While I thoroughly enjoy eating asparagus, what I enjoy even more is eating wild asparagus. Euell Gibbons wasn’t the only food freak who stalked the wild asparagus. It used to be an annual springtime ritual for me.

I have looked north and south, east and west, and high and low for wild asparagus here on the Great Plains of Turtle Island where I live but I have never found any. Along with the absence of mountains, it is one of several things that disappoint me about the plains.

Back when I lived high up in the Rocky Mountains I ate wild asparagus almost every time my wolf-dog Shawnee took me for a walk out in the country during springtime. It grew all over the place, especially alongside creeks, ditches, and fences.

When I saw some I would stoop down and pinch a spear and immediately plop it into my mouth. I have never eaten cooked wild asparagus. Only raw. And there would never be more than one second of time between the time I pinched it and the time it ended up in my mouth. There was no time for the flavor or nutrients or chi to dissipate. If I was some kind of bovine creature I would not have even needed hands. I would just chomp it with my mouth. Those hoofed animals are so lucky. They don’t lose any chi when eating in the wild.

Wild asparagus is smaller than farmed asparagus but it has more flavor. It probably has more nutrients, too. And it does not have any of the toxic chemicals that ‘modern farming’ insists on using.

Speaking of four-legged creatures, my wolf-doggie liked asparagus, too. But she would not eat wild asparagus or cooked asparagus. She preferred the raw asparagus stalks from the grocery store. Of course, I quickly learned that asparagus did the same thing to her urine as it did to mine so I never gave her more than a couple of stalks. She produced enough strong odors and didn’t need to produce more.

My doggie would eat just about anything. She loved carrots and celery and cabbage and other veggies that start with a ‘c.’ Once she ate a football.

Speaking of urine, one of the things I liked about wandering out in the wilderness with my doggie is that if I had to pee I just unzipped, slung it out, and peed. We guys are so lucky. I’ve always preferred peeing out-of-doors. I like the fact that I am returning my pee to the natural world as the Goddess intended instead of contributing to a municipal waste water treatment facility. I have fertilized a lot of wild plants.

The weird thing about peeing out-of-doors is that whenever I did it my doggie would immediately start peeing, too. Even if she only had a few drops, if I was peeing she had to be peeing, too. Isn’t that cute?

Well, the snow from the other day has finally melted. It is April. Spring is only about 7 to 10 days away — if it arrives on time. I wonder what other springtime memories will surface in the old noggin.

Hmm, now I’m wondering what I’m going to have for lunch today…

Speaking of hooved animals…