Walking the Goat

On a hot summer day

It was noisy on Main Street. It seemed like the whole town had turned out to celebrate the Summer Days Festival. The cacophony of human voices blended with distant live music, the honking of car horns and the ka-chinging of cash registers. The hot, still air featured a smorgasbord of aromas including barbecue, kettle fries, popcorn, fajitas, patchouli, cigarette smoke, dogs, and the blending of perfume and body odor. There was also the smell of goat.

This was not surprising considering that Felicia was walking her goat, Sally, down the crowded sidewalk. Other people were walking their dogs so why could she not walk her goat?

A green bandana around her neck, Sally clip-clopped slowly, not pulling on the leash. The excitement was overwhelming for her as her head swiveled back and forth trying to take it all in.

Felicia also had a green bandana around her neck and a straw farmer’s hat atop her short flaming-red hair. Her green eyes were hidden beneath over-sized flaming-red sunglasses. She was wearing denim overall shorts. (They had once been regular overalls but she cut off the legs.) Underneath the top portion of her overalls she wore nothing but a sports bra. On her feet were flaming-red flip-flops.

Believe it or not, Sally got a lot more attention than Felicia. Sally was also having a lot more fun than Felicia. Two or three times on each block Felicia would have to stop walking as groups of small children would surround Sally in hopes of petting a real live goat. Sally was on Cloud Nine.

At one point while Sally was surrounded by a dozen kids, Felicia pushed her straw hat back on her head then pulled a pack of cigarettes out of the top pocket of her overall shorts. Putting a cigarette between her lips, she pulled out a flaming-red Bic lighter and lit it.

While Sally was being treated like a celebrity, Felicia took a deep drag on her cigarette then turned her head to exhale. An elderly couple walked right into the cloud of smoke and began waving their arms, giving Felicia a look of condemnation.

Felicia paid them no mind. As she continued smoking she looked around at all the people. If it were not for Sally she would probably never come to the Summer Days Festival. She did not care much for crowds. But she loved Sally very much and knew that the festival was the highlight of Sally’s year. She could never deprive Sally of so much excitement.

Just then, Sally took a dump. Right there on the sidewalk. The kids all screamed and ran away.

Laughing, Felicia took a plastic bag out of her back pocket, scooped up the doo-doo and deposited it in a nearby trash can. With the half-smoked cigarette dangling from her lips, she rubbed Sally’s ears with the hand that was not holding the leash, saying, “Oh Sally! If I did that I’d get arrested. You’re so lucky.”

Felicia and Sally continued to walk down the crowded sidewalk and it was not long before, once again, Sally was surrounded by kids. Felicia pinched the filter off her cigarette and stuffed it in her pocket, dropping the rest on the sidewalk where she put it out with her flaming-red flip-flop.

Suddenly, a little girl started crying hysterically after Sally took a healthy bite of the ice cream cone the little girl was holding in her hand. The girl’s mother picked her up and whisked her away. The other kids kept playing with Sally.

“Felicia?”

Felicia turned to see a tall young well-tanned man wearing a bright yellow tank-top and holding a chili cheese dog in one hand and a plastic cup full of beer in the other.

“Nathan? Oh my god, what are you doing back in town?”

“Well, uh, me and the band have a gig here at the festival. We’ve got a set in about an hour on the stage in the bank parking lot. You’ll have to come listen.”

“So you’re still playing.” Felicia had dated Nathan ever so briefly during her senior year in high school. She remembered that he was a terrible singer, had a horrible taste in music, and that he was a complete slob. “Sure, we’d love to come hear the band.”

Her use of a plural pronoun is what drew Nathan’s attention to the goat at the end of the leash she was holding.

Felicia was slightly flattered that he had noticed her before Sally.

“Hey, listen. Could you hold my beer for a second?”

Nathan handed Felicia his beer then he took a huge bite of his chili cheese dog. A sizeable dollop of chili dropped down onto his bright yellow tank-top without him noticing it. He then took back the beer and drank. Then he burped, “So… uh… a goat, huh?”

“This is Sally, my friend.”

“Uh… so why a goat?”

Felicia shrugged her shoulders, “I dunno. They’re easier to clean up after than guys.”

Nathan’s jaw dropped as he remained silent. After taking a sip of beer he spoke up, “So, like, are you married or anything? Seeing anyone?”

“Nope. I’m single and live alone — just me and Sally.”

Nathan looked at the goat then back at Felicia then back at the goat then back at Felicia, “So, uh, maybe after the concert you and I can go have a beer or something?” He looked back and forth again between Felicia and Sally.”

Felicia lied, “Sure.”

That night Felicia slept with the air conditioner on. It was a hot and muggy night. She slept restlessly while occasionally dreaming about bare-chested men covered with dirt.

Atop the rug on the floor next to her bed Sally slept peacefully as she dreamed about running wild and free in a big grassy meadow with scores of small human children.

Copyright by White Feather. All Rights Reserved. This is a work of fiction. Stories by White Feather

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