The Art of Not Giving up When You Failed at Everything
7 actionable steps to get you back on your feet
Most articles out there are about success.
But most real stories are about failure.
I failed at everything I tried. Absolutely everything.
I started a business in interior design. But I gave up after 2 years and only 3 clients. I started a meditation practice that took me to incredible heights of ecstasy and bliss. But I gave it up when I could no longer get into the flow. I wrote a book of poetry. Never published. I wanted to move to LA. Gave up due to the immigration system. I left a corporate job to be a visual artist. But when covid hit sales dropped. To 0.
I even failed to take out the trash this morning and I’m sure I had a good reason for it.
As you can see, I have excuses for each one of my defeats. But excuses didn’t make me feel like less of a failure. Even though it’s what happens to everybody, I feel like I failed at life. And I’m pretty sure I’m not alone.
I’m sure you feel this way every time you disappoint your spouse or yell at your kid. Every time the business that you’ve been working on for such a long time goes belly up. Every time life doesn’t go the way you want it to.
Failed at life. But you’re still here. Still alive, still breathing, still part of the system.
So what can you do?
Exact minute by minute scenario:
You wake up in the morning. You lost your job or your business recently went belly up. You failed for the 11th time. Or maybe it’s just the 3rd. But it feels like crap. You’re defeated. Lonely. Miserable. Nothing works.
And there are a million reasons why it didn’t work. I believe you. I know it’s hard. I know it’s harder than you can handle. I know when you look at the shiny successful people out there you think only them and their type can make it. And you know what? It might be true.
But this is what happened and there you are. What do you do next?
1. Nothing. Stay right there! Cry! Punch things! Break plates! Put your fist through the wall! Excellent, good job, that’s the spirit! You didn’t fail at this one, the plates are in pieces! What’s next?
2. More nothing. Listen to yourself. Stay there with your pain and your soul. Don’t abandon yourself by running towards feeling better. That’s just a quick fix and it will come back to haunt you.
3. When you’re done feeling shitty and only then, get yourself off the floor and think about it like this. What do you truly want in life? Is it achievable by you? If not, change it. Otherwise, it’s only going to make you more miserable. If yes, what are the methods?
4. Now that you have the methods, consider starting over again. If you feel up to it, do it.
5. If you don’t feel up to it, consider this: if you give up, will you feel better? If yes, do it.
6. If not, consider this: what else is there? What makes you happy? What makes you feel alive? What makes you wake up in the morning? Is it also profitable? Do you have anything better to do than not give up?
7. If you keep asking these questions you will undoubtedly figure out that it’s the not giving up that makes you feel alive. That’s what makes you tick. And you’re doing it to keep that internal clock going. And no matter how many times you fail, it’s worth it!
We fail. That’s what we do best. But we also succeed. That’s what we do worst. And that’s why we practice what we do best so much so that one day we can succeed at what we do worst: success itself.
If you enjoyed this story, buy me a coffee!
Thank you for reading until the end and let’s keep in touch! Subscribe here to get my articles in your inbox.
If you like my stories and want to support me and others or write yourself, come join the Medium community. Sign up for a membership using this link. For only 5$ a month you get unlimited access to all the stories on Medium and I also get a small commission. No extra cost to you and I’d be so grateful!
If you liked this story, you will also like: