Confidence

The 7 Simple Secrets to Seeming More Confident Instantly (And 4 Bonus Ones)

Learn how to look more confident with these 7 easy steps.

You don’t have to be confident at all to look confident. Even if you’re consumed by complexes, you can give the impression of someone who is self-aware and ready to conquer the world. How do you do it? Use your body language.

The way you walk, talk and even stand can easily create the impression that you believe in yourself and that you have no complexes. When it comes to appearing confident, many people think that you have to be oozing with self-assurance to look the part.

But that’s not always the case. Even when not feeling you’re best, you can give the impression of someone who is self-aware and comfortable in their own skin.

“Confidence is everything. Confidence is what makes that simple white tee and jeans look good.” — Ciara

Try out the tips listed below. Don’t just read them and put off implementing them. Start practising them every day starting today. You’ll have to pretend to be confident at first but eventually, you will start to feel a foundation of confidence growing within you.

1. Straighten up

Do you hunch over all the time? Standing this way makes you appear shy and insecure. Upright posture is key — not only do we appear as confident as possible when standing straight, but our spines will also thank us for it. Sounds easy, but to get into the habit of standing (and sitting) straight, you need to work hard. A straight back, shoulder blades pulled back, shoulders at the same level — this is the key to success. If you are standing, lower your arms along your body or keep them on your hips. Don’t cross them or you will look like you are defending yourself against something or someone.

We have all been there; you are in a meeting and you notice that person in the back corner who is constantly hunching over. It can be quite distracting and make the person seem shy or insecure.

Contrary to popular belief, sitting or standing up straight does not mean you are being fake or arrogant. Rather, it shows that you are confident and comfortable in your own skin.

When you slouch, it sends the message that you are not interested in what is going on, or worse, that you do not think highly of yourself. This can lead to people perceiving you as less credible or even untrustworthy. By contrast, when you sit or stand up straight, you appear more engaged and confident. This may lead to people viewing you in a more positive light and taking your ideas more seriously.

2. Maintain eye contact

When talking, don’t run your eyes away, look around the room or at your phone. Always look your interlocutor in the eye, and if there are several people you are discussing with, ‘walk’ from one to the other.

The same goes for public speaking — catch specific people in the audience by eye and speak directly to them. In this way, you will appear self-aware, focused, decisive and engaged.

But remember not to stare at anyone intensely. Take occasional breaks, otherwise, you’ll look like… a serial killer.

Maintaining eye contact is key to appearing confident and credible. When you make eye contact, you are indicating that you are interested in what the other person is saying. You can also use eye contact to control the conversation by looking away when you want to stop talking.

Don’t be afraid. People will often feel intimidated and they will be the ones to look away quickly.

3. Speak slowly and clearly

Not only how you behave, but also how you speak is of great importance when interacting with people. Pay attention to your words — when you speak more slowly, you can choose your words skilfully and deliberately, so you avoid linguistic slip-ups or mistakes.

Don’t rush or mumble under your breath, but speak slowly and loudly and articulate your words clearly. Let your voice sound authoritative but not threatening.

Also, remember to speak in the indicative rather than the interrogative mode (“I did the project.” rather than “I did the project?”) and avoid using “uhmmm” or words that suggest your insecurity, such as “maybe” or “probably”.

When you’re speaking to a group, it’s important to be clear and concise. You want your audience to be able to understand what you’re saying without having to strain. One way to make sure your message is coming across clearly is to speak slowly and enunciate your words. This will help your listeners stay focused on what you’re saying, and it will also make you sound more confident.

4. Fight nervous tics

Tics like tapping your fingers or a pen on the table, wringing your hands, tapping your foot on the floor or other gestures that we usually don’t control. They scream that we are nervous and stressed. It is difficult to cope if we are not aware of how our body behaves in stressful situations. So it’s worth asking people close to you about it, and then trying to eliminate these gestures.

Focus on standing or sitting up straight and calmly and making all movements consciously.

If you notice that you are tapping your finger on the tabletop again, take a few deep breaths to calm yourself and join your hands together or place them on your lap. Fighting nervous tics and fidgeting while talking is not easy, but it can be won. Practice makes perfect.

There are many different types of tics, some more severe than others. For most people, tics are mild and can be controlled with a little bit of effort. However, for others, tics can be a daily struggle that interferes with their quality of life. If you’re one of those people who suffer from severe or frequent tics, don’t worry — there is help available.

There are many different ways to fight nervous tics. The most important thing is to find the method that works best for you. Some people find relief from therapy or medication, while others find relief from relaxation techniques. No matter what method you choose, it’s important to stick with it and be patient. It may take some time before you see results, but eventually, you will start to see an improvement in your condition.

5. Look neat

Like it or not, self-confidence is affected by our appearance. If you go into a business meeting or on a date unshaven, with greasy hair, a rumpled shirt and sweaty, not only will you appear unserious, but you will feel uncomfortable and insecure. Hygiene and clean occasion appropriate clothes, in which you feel you look good, are essential. You will gain confidence and others will be impressed by your professionalism.

Looking neat can give you a confidence boost. When you’re organized and put together, it shows that you’re in control.

This can be important in both your personal and professional life. By taking the time to clean up and look put together, you’ll feel better about yourself and be more successful in whatever you do.

This also applies to the space around you. A clear presentation, a clean desk, unbent pages and sorted documents — without any coffee spills or kids’ drawings.

6. Use your hands actively

Your hands are one of the most expressive parts of your body. They can communicate a wide range of emotions, from happiness and excitement to sadness and anger. Gesturing with your hands is also a great way to communicate with others.

When you gesture while talking, it helps you to get your point across more clearly. It also makes you seem more animated and engaging.

During an interview, we often don’t know what to do with our hands. The most important thing is not to hide them. So take your hands out of your pockets — or at least remove only your thumbs — and casually place them along your body, join your hands and hold them behind your back or head, or keep your joined hands and elbows on a desk or table in front of you. Don’t be afraid to gesture either.

However, gesture consciously to emphasise the importance of your words, and don’t overdo it — waving your hands too vigorously won’t add to your seriousness. Don’t be afraid to touch during a conversation either — of course, if the situation demands it and the other person doesn’t mind. So next time you’re having a conversation, be sure to use your hands actively.

7. Stop apologising

Constantly apologising, even for the most trivial things — doesn’t build an image of a confident person and screams that you have a self-confidence problem and are afraid of other people. So try to limit saying ‘sorry’. It’s not easy, but it’s worth working on. Not only will you be relieved to finally be free of apologizing, but no one will think you have self-confidence issues anymore.

You don’t need to apologise for being who you are. You don’t need to apologise for your opinions or your beliefs. You don’t need to apologise for being different. You don’t need to apologise for standing out from the crowd. You don’t need to apologise for sneezing. Think about it — how often do you really need to say sorry? Probably not as often as you think. In fact, over-apologizing can actually have negative consequences, making you seem weak and indecisive.

So next time you feel the urge to say sorry, take a moment to consider whether an apology is really necessary. Chances are, it’s not.

Here is a great article on how you should stop saying sorry if you want to achieve anything.

Other things that I also find helpful:

• smile,
• make breaks when speaking,
• keep your arms uncrossed,
• take a deep breath.

This newfound confidence will help you in all aspects of your life. It will give you the strength to pursue your goals and dreams, and the courage to stand up for what you believe in. With this new confidence, anything is possible.

Finally, remember that confidence is all about attitude. So even if you don’t feel like you’re the most confident person in the world, act like it! Fake it until you make it!

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I’m Oliwia and thanks for spending a tiny part of your life on reading my article.