avatarSandra Pawula

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Abstract

ow I survived racism, sexism, adoption, sexual abuse, small-ism (treated as <a href="https://readmedium.com/https-medium-com-celinel-for-the-record-big-little-person-129469db2bfe">lesser because I am small</a>) and neglect,” but the <b>gist of the</b> <b>takeaway </b>from this sharing is that when you “lose” a large chunk of your childhood and early formative adult years to strife or stressful circumstances, you feel “older” than what you are, and <b>YOU ARE</b>.</p><p id="e221">Your trauma has fast-tracked your spiritual “maturation” process, albeit with stressful twists and challenging turns.</p><p id="2584">You have been forced to deal with adult concepts and with unsafe situations, and while you put up barriers in order not to get hurt more; your Soul has sought out nooks and crannies in which the rose of your eternal Self can grow.</p><p id="f658">There has been no time for taking it easy.</p><p id="0ba9">There has been little time or energy for putting your feet up.</p><p id="6ea9">It’s hammer time.</p><p id="a2a2">You are a survivor.</p><p id="4845">Your Essence was poured into making things fit into a misfit jigsaw puzzle; the greatest puzzle of your life is: <b>the puzzle of who am I?</b></p><p id="0c2b">Not, why me?</p><p id="6a32">Not why not he or she, but what the hell is going on here and now, with me?</p><p id="ffb6">The Soul was not designed to be confused. The Self was not designed to be unloved.</p><figure id="cdda"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/1*YogBihLw4GFgg1FugiGgUg.jpeg"><figcaption>Photo by <a href="https://unsplash.com/@gabebarletta?utm_source=unsplash&amp;utm_medium=referral&amp;utm_content=creditCopyText">Gabriel Barletta</a> on <a href="https://unsplash.com/search/photos/soul?utm_source=unsplash&amp;utm_medium=referral&amp;utm_content=creditCopyText">Unsplash</a></figcaption></figure><p id="ca28">The mental and emotional bodies have to catch up with the “<b>wisen</b>-<b>ing” </b>Spirit or Soul.</p><p id="0e8e">Your Soul struggled to partner with the drag of the thoughts and emotions which unwittingly denied the largess of the Soul.</p><p id="854e">Soul purpose wrapped itself around the challenges in your life, as body and mind faced life or death choices.</p><p id="703a">“Can I trust this person?”</p><p id="6230">“What does he/she really want?”</p><p id="031a">What if I can’t give them what they want?”</p><p id="47c8">“What shall I do?”</p><p id="2471">“I’m bad, it’s my fault isn’t it?”</p><p id="b954"><b><i>And it often ends with: “I can’t do much right.”</i></b></p><p id="9252">While I aged physiologically, <b>from age fifteen</b> you could say that I was a curious mix of “startled rabbit under the car headlights” and “defiant, solemn, serious adult person.”</p><figure id="6a07"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/1*n-lWdFEBLqEkiBYmRdq6hQ.jpeg"><figcaption>The author at age 15. Photo provided by the author.</figcaption></figure><p id="60f1">If someone had looked closely, they would have seen the vulnerability and the fright and hurt beneath the veneer of the tough “I’m a normal competent person” that I exhibited, mask-like.</p><p id="5b0c">So, in a way “I grew up before my time.”</p><p id="2c25">I had to reflect, research, strategize, read, plan, try out, up-turn, review, think, meditate, reach out, cogitate, be brave, learn to trust, connect, join up, cry, pray, shout, throw things around, speak out, face serious health issues, forgive myself, write, teach; and even consider ending my own life, in order to survive.</p><h1 id="b49b">The Takeaway: Stay Young by Looking After Yourself and Honoring Yourself</h1><p id="d488" type="7">Surviving is growing if you learn that from your unique pathway that you have become of age spiritually.</p><p id="0543">You have made it. Give yourself a pat on the back.</p><p id="7c51">In extraordinary ways, your Soul has tethered your body and mind to your essence, through a fast-track maturation of Spirit or Soul.</p><p id="6fee"><b>You have in a way aged, and now are free to become younger.</b></p><p id="1999">Use your wisdom from your experiences to understand that you dealt the best you could with the forces of external circumstances upon you, in tandem with being subjected to the strictures of society, and having challenges on your road to growth compounded by the fears and doubts and wants of individuals.</p><p id="e5f3"><b>You did nothing wrong. You are timeless, and herein real peace lies.</b></p><p id="450a">Focus your high beams on your Renaissance.</p><p id="8d69">The time will come, if it hasn’t already when your body intelligence will give you a God-almighty shove, inciting you to take care of yourself, body, lock, stock, and Soul.</p><p id="edc9" type="7">The time will come when you will feel

Options

as though you have lived an age, and it is time then for you to turn your thoughts and living toward being youthful.</p><p id="5863">At 55 years of age I have entered my new world, a new healthy eating lifestyle and a planned exercise regime, having finally shed the last vestige of guilt over nothing that I had done to cause abuse of myself and other children in my adoptive family.</p><p id="4d20">It took 44 years of resisting me.</p><p id="6948">Now I am growing younger, for age, is in the being of the holder.</p><p id="12a6">I have learned that true worth comes from loving yourself as well as from caring about and understanding and supporting others and the worlds we live in.</p><p id="231c">Yes, biologically, I am ageing, but my Spirit or Soul is now free.</p><p id="81ee">With my body, mind and Soul no longer fettered by the chains of remorse or doubt or fear, as my Soul learned its lessons in lurches and steps, that we are all of one energy, and that my mission is to empathize with others (due to my personal experiences), as well as to care for and grow myself, and water my own happiness and comfort, I am now refreshed.</p><p id="f3c0"><b><i>When you are free to be yourself, you know and reach for what you really want and need, and you feel a Lightness of Being.</i></b></p><p id="89b9">Your mind becomes clear, your outlook positive, and your Soul no longer burdened.</p><figure id="6252"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/1*grTRoCkk66wzTAZvaeSHDw.jpeg"><figcaption>Is your glass half empty or half full? Photo from <a href="http://Image by <a href=" https:="" pixabay.com="" users="" geralt-9301="" ?utm_source="link-attribution&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=image&utm_content=300558"">Gerd Altmann</a> from <a href="https://pixabay.com/?utm_source=link-attribution&amp;utm_medium=referral&amp;utm_campaign=image&amp;utm_content=300558">Pixabay</a>">Pixabay.</figcaption></figure><p id="b590">If life has dealt you a rough blow, get as much quality help as you can, and refine your coping strategies and your safe, healthy living in your own supportive inimitable or unique ways.</p><p id="0f74">Even if you are shy and reserved and frightened, break out now and tell your loved ones that you need proper and trusted help, or find someone or some source that can truly or honestly help you.</p><p id="4a0c">The effects are cumulative, meaning seek and take positive growth opportunities as they arise along your timeline, and “interest” will be added or over time the positive or supportive results will magnify.</p><p id="4ce2">The wounds to your spiritual self may not be undone in a week or a day, or even in a month. However, you must recognize that there are stepping stones along your pathway.</p><p id="7b18">They will be there.</p><p id="18cf">Cultivate gratitude for your blessings and keep the spark of your divinity going.</p><p id="eb7f">Take the steps to dissolve any thoughts, physical tensions, and feelings of lack of self-worth or of having done wrong.</p><p id="64af">Look after your body, mind, and Soul.</p><p id="f1ec">You will surely and steadily return to the “youth” of joy at simple things, appreciation for the whole, and having a fresh and curious and positive outlook on Life, unrestrained by collective norms and expectations.</p><p id="aab4">This is the real You, forever young. Stay free.</p><figure id="dc1d"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/1*utnNSnUJUaWCAq2V-G4MzA.jpeg"><figcaption>The author aged 7</figcaption></figure><div id="6fc1" class="link-block"> <a href="https://starstruckworld.wordpress.com/conceive-believe-achieve/"> <div> <div> <h2>undefined</h2> <div><h3>undefined</h3></div> <div><p>undefined</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/0*vVduIn_gHYYgoupl)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><p id="4161">© No part of this work can be reproduced without permission from the author.</p><figure id="bcc9"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/1*QP1JZ0GOBdyE2uOr-05X7Q.jpeg"><figcaption></figcaption></figure><p id="c9d8"><b>About the Author</b></p><p id="ef8d"><i>Celine Lai was born in Malaya and is the oldest inter-country adopted person in Australia. She loves reading and writing, and runs WordPress blogs and writes technical documents. She blogs mainly on <a href="https://facinatingamazinganimals.com/">Fascinating Animals</a>.</i></p><p id="1989"><a href="https://forms.gle/ysoyKXWBWmb1yVNN9">Subscribe to my weekly email newsletter to be notified of my new Stories</a></p></article></body>

The 4 Fundamental Principles of Buddhism Known as “The Four Seals”

Our beliefs make a difference in the quality of our experience. Do you know yours?

Photo by Bettie Fischer from Pexels

Do you have an overarching set of beliefs or principles that guide your life and personal evolution?

What beliefs do you hold? About:

  • The way the world works?
  • The purpose of life?
  • The nature of the self?
  • Your responsibility as a human being?
  • The impact of your thoughts, words, and actions?
  • Why you suffer?
  • What happens when you die?
  • Are your beliefs in line with reality as it actually is?
  • What is true happiness and freedom in your belief system?

Most importantly, do your beliefs — consciously chosen or unconsciously adopted ones— usually lead to happiness or suffering for yourself and others?

I didn’t have a belief system as a young adult. I just wandered around, bouncing off events, people, and circumstances. I wanted to be happy, but I mostly operated on automatic and in reactive mode.

Moments of happiness arrived randomly, but emotional turmoil prevailed to a greater degree. I felt a persistent yet subtle discontent punctuated by periods of high drama.

Now, years later, my beliefs are crystal clear guiding principles, ones that I’ve held for decades and trust will bring me the greatest possible freedom.

My beliefs line up with the four fundamental principles of Buddhism known as “The Four Seals.” The Four Seals define whether a teaching is Buddhist or not. They also definie what it means to be a Buddhist. If you don’t believe in all four of these principles, you’re not a Buddhist—no matter how much you like the lovey-dovey aspects of Buddhism or embrace some of its less earth-shattering ideas.

At the same time, The Four Seals aren’t exclusive to Buddhism. Anyone can see the world in this way.

Let’s take a look at The Four Seals and what they mean.

The Four Seals: A Set of Guiding Beliefs

The Four Seals tell us:

  1. All compounded things are impermanent
  2. All emotions are pain
  3. All things have no inherent existence
  4. Nirvana (the state beyond suffering) is beyond concepts

More than ideas, these are fundamental truths observed by the Buddha — his understanding of reality as it is. He didn’t expect his followers to accept these truths on blind faith. He said, observe for yourself. I invite you to do the same.

At first, you might find these four truths radical, counter-intuitive, and the opposite of almost everything you’ve learned in life. But I know from my own experience if you take time to reflect upon them, gradually their truth will make itself known to you.

Of course, understanding them intellectually is a far cry from realizing them in the core of your being. Even great minds and meditators take years to fully realize them. But intellectual understanding is the first step, and can, in fact, completely change your perception of the world and how it works.

Although initially these strange ideas might invoke fear, ultimately, they can bring more comfort and ease into your way of being.

So, what do the Four Seals mean?

This is my simple understanding based upon Dzongsar Jamyang Khyentse’s book, What Makes You Not a Buddhist, and other teachings I’ve received on the topic.

1. All compounded things are impermanent

When two or more things come together, whether in material form or as thoughts, emotions, and sensations, they are impermanent.

Sounds obvious, but most of us are slaves to the illusion of permanence. Then we suffer when change occurs. When we allow the truth of impermanence to take hold in our hearts and minds, suffering starts to peel away and there’s more space for genuine happiness.

This truth teaches us not to expect the impermanent to be permanent and thus cause ourselves unnecessary suffering.

“Of all footprints That of the elephant is supreme; Of all mindfulness meditations That on death is supreme.”

— the Buddha

2. All emotions are pain

Most of us would gladly be rid of difficult emotions like anger, frustration, jealousy, sadness, and shame. But what about the “good” emotions like joy, happiness, love, and peace?

Even positive emotions remain within the realm of conceptual mind and thus can be the source of suffering when we cling to them. The problem isn’t the moment of joy that arises in our experience, but the way we grasp onto it and try to force it to remain and continue.

Emotions are just passing phenomena with no substantial existence, but we tend to make them very solid and real. Then, they become the cause of harmful words and actions and we get stuck in repetitive cycles of suffering.

The solution is to simply be mindful and aware of whatever arises in the mind without trying to resist, fabricate, or hold on to any particular state. That ability begins with the practice of mindfulness meditation and continues with more advanced forms of meditation.

Ultimately, the capacity to be fully present in the moment brings a tremendous sense of freedom that goes beyond the limitations of happiness and unhappiness.

“Awareness doesn’t prevent you from living, it makes living that much fuller. If you are enjoying a cup of tea and you understand the bitter and the sweet of temporary things, you will really enjoy the cup of tea.” — Dzongsar Jamyang Khyentse

3. All things have no inherent existence

This bring us to “emptiness,” a greatly misunderstood idea.

On the level of mind, Mingyur Rinpoche explains:

“The sense of openness people experience when they simply rest their minds is known in Buddhist term as emptiness, which is probably one of the most misunderstood words in Buddhist philosophy. —Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche

On a physical level, take the example of a cup. There is no such thing as a “cup” that exists permanently or independently. When you really take a look at it, what is the cup? Is it the handle? Is it the inside? Is it the outside? Is it a moving arrangement of atoms? When you investigate, you can never really find a permanent, singular, independent cup.

“Cup” is just a label for various parts that have temporarily come together due to causes and conditions and will, at some point, also fall apart due to causes and conditions. For example, if you drop the “cup,” a potential cause, there’s a good chance it will break.

Emptiness isn’t voidness, but the potential for anything to appear, change, and disappear depending on causes and conditions. Emptiness and appearance are inseparable and everything that occurs is interdependent.

“Form is emptiness; emptiness also is form. Emptiness is no other than form, Form is no other than emptiness.” — The Heart Sutra

Our problem is the tendency to attach permanence to the display of temporary phenomena swirling around us — from material items to thoughts and emotions — and that, more often than not — brings about suffering.

Attachment and aversion soften once we realize that life is more like an ever-changing dream. That insight brings more spaciousness and ease into our life.

At the same time, we understand that, due to interdependence, our thoughts, words, and actions have an effect — either helping or harming. Thus, we act responsibly.

“Always recognize the dreamlike qualities of life and reduce attachment and aversion. Practice good-heartedness toward all beings. Be loving and compassionate no matter what others do to you. What they will do will not matter so much when you see it as a dream. The trick is to to have positive intention during the dream. This is the essential point. This is true spirituality.” —Chagdud Tulku Rinpoche

4. Nirvana (the state beyond suffering) is beyond concepts

Enlightenment is not a place or a state of mind.

It’s freedom from believing everything to be permanent, independent, and singular, and thus freedom from suffering. It’s the recognition of our own pure awareness, constantly present within us.

We’re so identified with our thoughts and emotions, we fail to recognize this pure awareness, which is like the sky hidden behind the clouds, but always there.

In any moment, you can switch from identifying with thoughts and emotions to simply being aware. That is nirvana.

Closing Thoughts

That is the The Four Seals in a nutshell. As a reminder:

  1. All compounded things are impermanent
  2. All emotions are pain
  3. All things have no inherent existence
  4. Nirvana (the state beyond suffering) is beyond concepts

They are the guiding principles in my life. I’ve observed, meditated, and contemplated upon them and they seem true to me.

I realize The Four Seals may be difficult to grasp if this is your first encounter with them. But you might let them simmer, and see if, at some point, they bring an “aha” or two.

My beliefs have brought me more freedom, more joy, and more ease.

So, I ask you again, what are the driving beliefs behind your life? Do they bring you happiness or do they bring you suffering?

If your beliefs bring more suffering than happiness, you can pause in any moment and adopt a new way of seeing the world, ideally one that is rooted in seeing things as they are.

I’m not asking you to adopt The Four Seals. But why not take them for a test drive and see if they have meaning for you.

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