The 3 Principles Of Masculinity Are More Effective Than Being “High Value”
Does high value get you laid more? Does it create wealth, confidence, power, or attraction?
This phrase has been circulating for a while now. It doesn’t even make sense, because everyone’s idea of what they find valuable differs.
You could say: Paul, you don’t know what the hell you’re talking about, I’m going to go do all the ‘tips’ to be high value.
That’s fine, yet I’ve found I can look at myself in the mirror and be proud when I adhere to these 3 principles.
1. Self-acceptance
Men who embody true masculinity aren’t concerned with how other people judge them.
They are respectful of their role in society. The finicky nature of society and what it deems masculine or acceptable for men is not on their list of priorities.
Attaching your self-worth as a man to the mercy of society is insane at best, and harmful at worst.
You are authentic about:
- Thoughts
- Emotions
- Manner of dress
- Relationships
They are not at the whim of society’s expectations. However, it’s important that abiding by the law still happens.
Men without a healthy relationship with their emotions react. Weak, insecure men react passively (such as how they choose to live their lives), and they react in the moment.
Their emotional state is dictated by external forces.
We’ve taught men that it’s NOT okay to feel sad, angry, let down, or abandoned.
Ask any guy when the last time it was he cried. He might say he hasn’t in years. His response might be something along the lines of he doesn’t want to look weak, stupid, girly, etc…
In the case of anger; we’ve subconsciously been taught that anyone angry is an automatic threat.
Most guys don’t want to hurt other people, so they mask and suppress their anger, only for it to reemerge later on in life when it is dangerous.
Masculinity requires you to be fully responsible for your emotions. You don’t blame other people for “making” you feel a certain way. You address and acknowledge how you are feeling.
An honest conversation with yourself requires emotional vulnerability.
Self-acceptance means you are honest with yourself, and that can be frightening.
2. Resilience
Acceptance flows into resilience.
How in the world are you going to know what to do and how to be responsible when you don’t have a clue what it is you stand for? Sadly, most people, regardless of gender don’t know what it is they want.
Some young man might think he wants a military career because his father and grandfathers did it.
Yet, deep down he’d rather be an entrepreneur, but he’s afraid to follow his path.
This might mean he has to confront the fact that he doesn’t truly have the mindset for the military. Yet, he’s deeply afraid to disappoint and/or anger his father.
His ego shouldn’t get in the way of accepting the truth.
He doesn’t act like a loser who gives up when life knocks him down
I’ve been through hell these past 12 months.
Went through a terrible breakup a month before Christmas, our wedding, and my birthday. It was a huge shitstorm all at once and I had to move to a new apartment on my birthday.
I’ve churned through several women since then. Sometimes I rejected them, and sometimes they rejected me.
I have had every right to say “Fuck it I’m through with dating; women suck and I’m going to stay single.”
That’s not me. Losers give up after one or two failed attempts and just say it’s not meant for them and they go off to the next thing. Trust me, I’ve quit a lot of stuff, but sometimes it’s about finding the right thing that speaks to you.
Sometimes you do have to quit when it’s toxic, abusive, and destroying your mental health.
Men (and women) give up because there is the possibility of failure. That’s something you’re going to have to accept. Life isn’t a fairy tale Disney movie that grants us all of our hopes and dreams just because we desire it enough and work hard.
Your whole life could be in pursuit of a goal only for you to get hit by a bus the next day and die. It’s sad and morbid, but it’s better than farting around being scared that you won’t get the desired outcome that you want.
3. Passing life’s tests
In the middle of all of this goal achieving, life WILL constantly throw stupid little tests at you to keep you on track.
Sometimes it does it so you intentionally fail. It wants you to learn a lesson. If you don’t learn the first time, it ramps up the intensity to the point where you have no choice but to confront the problem and accept the situation.
We all fail life’s tests sometimes. We fall for distractions.
A masculine man will take the time out of his day to self-reflect when he has failed.
He audits where he went off course. If he can figure out where he lost, he may be able to avoid it in the future. This is what I would consider personal development. Learning from your mistakes.
Men are leaders. Great leaders see the distractions, avoid them, and change for the better when they do go off course.
It’s fine to make mistakes, but he must grow as a person if he wishes for his life to improve. It’s about returning to what matters.
If it has something to do with a relationship, he doesn’t fall for nonsense like “happiness” parties, social events, friends, pets, or children.
Passing the tests requires you to be mentally and emotionally present.
So have you ever looked at someone, and they’re “zoned-out”?
They’re worrying about the past and the future. They’re not at all here in the present. It’s not about getting caught up in work, business, hobbies, or other BS that won’t matter 5 years from now.
Self-acceptance, Resilience, and Presence
All 3 of these principles can be practiced daily.
It’s an ongoing process for all of us. It’s fine to make mistakes, get distracted or overreact. We’re all human, but as long as you come back to these fundamentals, there’s no reason why you should feel the need to compensate for your masculinity.
You might feel a whole lot better about yourself when you try this out.
Before you find yourself in a relationship, consider downloading my free PDF of 8 red flags that I have compiled over the last year.
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