The 2 sneaky advantages of trying sober life as an introvert

I’m going to be straight-up honest here: I don’t particularly like being around people.

I can certainly tolerate it for short periods of time, but as an introvert, my battery for social interaction runs out very, very quickly.

I think this is the very reason that many introverts develop a problem with alcohol in the first place.

We feel like a fish out of water when we’re around a lot of other people, and the way we compensate is by drinking alcohol. Sometimes a lot of alcohol.

The problem with that is alcohol is an insidious little devil. He’s always looking for that foot in the door. Once he gets his little hoof wedged in there, he starts working his way into other areas of your life.

Suddenly, everything in your life becomes an excuse to drink.

Sad? Have a drink.

Happy? Could be happier! Have a drink.

Stressed out? Have a drink.

Relaxed? Have a drink.

Mourning? Have a drink.

Celebrating? Have a drink.

Hate your job? Have a drink (this was a big one for me).

And on and on it goes.

As I wrote in this piece, “The trauma of being an introverted child,” one reason I drank too much was that introverts are often taught to be ashamed of their introversion.

They’re called out for being quiet or accused of being “shy” or, worse, “anti-social.”

But you know what? There are a couple of low-key sweet advantages to being an introvert when you’re trying to quit alcohol.

Talking to people for hours on end? No thank you! (Photo by JJ Jordan on Unsplash)

1. You think going out sucks anyway

One of the biggest barriers extroverts have when trying to quit alcohol is FOMO.

They worry that parties won’t be as fun, that they’ll lose friends or not be invited places.

On one level, I get it. The idea of standing around talking to people for hours without a drink is brutal.

The best part of being introvert sober is that, drinking or not, there’s no FOMO because you would rather NGAO (not go at all).

I love being alone. I love when everything is quiet.

There are huge disadvantages to being ADHD introvert sober like me, of course.

When you live in your own head, it can be exhausting.

Back in the day, the only way out of there for me was to start drinking and anesthetize myself so I could sit still and watch TV or something.

I adjusted by always staying physically or mentally active. Idle time is not healthy for me at all.

At the end of the day, if I’m not already busy with my kids, I would much rather be sitting here writing this, grinding away at the gym, or doing pretty much anything else but going out with the express intent of socializing.

Ergo, the temptation and opportunities to drink are vastly reduced.

2. People have low expectations already

I have two really good friends, one from back in my home town and one from my university years. We all live pretty far apart and see each other 2–3 times a year.

I care a great deal about these friends and make an effort to stay in touch.

In general, however, as an introvert, my desire and drive to maintain casual relationships is almost non-existent.

It requires time and effort I don’t have, so I simply don’t do it.

Luckily, unlike when I was a child, I don’t really give a s**t if people care or find it distasteful.

I don’t mean to suggest I’m mean or anything.

On the contrary, I can be quite talkative, funny, and very friendly at typical life events we all go to like school functions or kids’ sports or whatever.

Perhaps an example would be helpful.

Recently, before a sports event we were all going into, a bunch of people were standing around the back of someone’s truck in the parking lot having beers.

The “normal” thing to do would be to stand there for an hour in the afternoon drinking beer and chatting.

I decided to go for an hour-long walk in the sun instead.

Is that weird? I don’t know, to be honest.

I don’t really care either way. And I doubt if I was missed.

People know me well enough by now. I’m a nice person that I think people enjoy having around, but their expectations for my socializing efforts have to be so low by now.

That makes it a lot easier to walk away from a group of people drinking beer and go for a walk in the sun instead.

Be yourself, and be proud

Part of getting sober means, for the first time in a long time, prioritizing your own feelings and your own health.

Now, if I don’t want to go somewhere, I don’t just accept the invitation and plan to get, at the very least, a good buzz on to tolerate it.

I just say no.

So you’re quiet? You prefer being alone? You’d rather be writing an article or reading a book or going for a run instead of going for coffee or beers?

So what.

Lean into it.

There aren’t a lot of advantages to being an introvert, but quitting alcohol can be one of them.

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Summarize

The 2 sneaky advantages of trying sober life as an introvert

1. You think going out sucks anyway

2. People have low expectations already

Be yourself, and be proud