That Childish Adult is a Narcissist

Know the line of distinction

Yes, adults act childish at times and they are all not narcissists.

But there is a clear distinction between what qualifies as innocent childishness & what’s pure evil at its core, narcissism.

Narcissists are highly insecure individuals. Although they don’t show it, they’re pretty concerned about how they’re being perceived, if they’re being validated by the opposite person, and so on. In short, they’re extremely conscious of where they stand in society & a relationship.

As we know, another trait of narcissists is their drive for entitlement, they pretty much expect everything to run their way. And in a relationship, you’re doomed when you decide to do things against the narcissist’s will.

Here are a few pointers that distinguish a normal person’s childish behavior from a narcissist’s childish behavior.

The Silent Treatment

Children sometimes just go silent when they sulk, and that’s cute. Even adults do, well you decide if it’s cute or not but yeah, it could be innocent. But where’s the thin line where the evil begins?

You just sense the malice. When adults come across disagreement, or when their advice is turned down, it’s normal that they go silent for a short period. But then, there’s also scope for an adult talk.

However, when a narcissist is disagreed with, you’d notice the silence is just a way to humiliate you for not giving them the authority to make a choice. It’s never-ending. Although it’s always them who makes the choices.

Even when you approach them for an adult conversation to stop the silence and resolve the conflict, you’re likely to be treated with gaslighting and shaming. They’ll try to make you feel guilty for not following their advice.

Give and Take is Fucked Up!!!

In an adult relationship, there’s a mutual understanding and a moral obligation to maintain the give — take balance. You understand that your partner is not your servant to keep receiving from them while you do nothing.

In short, we try to fulfill our duties toward our partners. But a narcissist’s give — take is seriously fucked up!

It’s almost like you’re their parent and you’re obliged to provide for them and bear all their tantrums. When looked at from a narcissist’s perspective, they feel they deserve to be served, they’re entitled to receive every great service from you, as they are superior.

They just expect to receive as much as possible, in terms of love, respect, time, compassion, & empathy. But all these elements won’t be coming from their end ever. Even if they do, it’s just bread-crumbing.

They show their fake empathy & love now & then and that keeps their partner obliged for long periods. It’s as if their love is so rare and valuable that their partner/child/sibling is grateful for it.

Vulnerability Resisted

Your relationship is childish. You act parental in your relationship but still, they resist the vulnerability. They want the authority to control you and steal your freedom in every possible way but they’re not ready to be a wee bit vulnerable with you.

It’s as if it doesn’t matter to them whether you leave or stay. At least that’s what they portray, deep down they don’t want to lose their narcissistic supply and a victim.

Manipulation & Shaming

A little bit is innocent. But if you’re in a narcissistic relationship, you’re going to notice a pattern where the narcissist acts immature over and over again during every conflict. But in the end, you end up following their way.

That’s their magic. They manipulate you while acting immaturely. They’d shame you for not following their ways. They may degrade your character & values for not doing things their way.

And this becomes a routine.

It’s Always About Winning

They don’t care if they’re right. All they know is you aren’t enabling their narcissism. You as a good partner were supposed to follow all their advice and instructions but you’re not doing that.

Since they feel entitled to all that you own and behave as if they own you, when you do something against their will, it hits them personally. Their only goal is to win whatever that is to regain their upper hand in the relationship.

Unhealthy & Unfair

Remember how children get you to do their things although you hate to do it? You just know that the child is supposed to do it himself, but somehow with his/her unfair tantrums, drags you into doing it.

That similar childish pattern can be noticed in a narcissistic relationship as well. They just get their things done. No matter how unfair or unhealthy the relationship might seem but you’re always the scapegoat.

You know it’s unfair but feels inevitable. But there is something you can do about it. Follow the do’s in this article to deal with narcissists.

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