Summary

The author, Marilyn Flower, humorously reflects on losing weight during the COVID-19 pandemic, attributing the weight loss to reduced appetite due to stress and lifestyle changes brought about by lockdown measures, while also expressing a preference for the weight loss not to be at the expense of the ongoing pandemic.

Abstract

Marilyn Flower shares a personal account of unexpectedly losing weight during the coronavirus lockdown, despite initially anticipating weight gain from stress-induced emotional eating. She humorously credits the virus, referred to as "Corona," for the positive change in her eating habits and reduced appetite, which has led to a noticeable weight loss. Flower muses on the irony of the situation, given her usual tendency to overeat during stressful times. The article touches on the challenges of grocery shopping during the pandemic, the shift to virtual meetings via Zoom, and the absence of high-calorie coffee drinks from her routine, all contributing to her weight loss. While she appreciates the silver linings during this difficult period, including more time for writing and personal growth, she makes it clear that she would trade the weight loss to end the pandemic. The piece concludes with an invitation for readers to share their own experiences and participate in a writing contest hosted by April and Susan Brearley.

Opinions

The author initially expected to gain weight due to stress-eating during the pandemic but experienced the opposite effect.
She humorously personifies the coronavirus as "Corona," a female entity, and jokingly thanks her for the weight loss.
The author acknowledges the health benefits of dark chocolate, while also recognizing the temptation it presents for overindulgence.
She notes the irony of the English language when it comes to pluralizing words like

Thanks to Corona I Lost Ten Pounds!

Will she help me keep it off, too?

I wasn’t expecting this generous gift. I did not sign up for it. I totally expected it to go the other way — that I would gain weight with a series of non-stop binges of emotional eating. And be really mad at the world for locking me up with excess chocolate.

And by the way, I have it from reliable resources that chocolate is very good for us. Especially dark chocolate. It has lots of antioxidants. And even though we want oxygen for our lungs, we apparently don’t want it in our cells. It tends to rust things in there like it does iron.

And we don’t want our cells getting rusty when they need to be in tip-top shape to fight off nasty viri — if that’s the plural of virus. It’s so confusing when a word ends in “s,” and it’s not plural. But then that’s the English language for you.

End of paid plug for chocolate — I wish!

So, where was I? Oh, yes. Gaining weight was not what’s happening. Perhaps I have a case of emotional under-eating. Go figure. Moi? Who likes to stuff her face at the first sign of stress. And since COVID-19 is like stress on steroids, that would have me gaining about three pounds a day.

Instead, my appetite has shrunk. I get on the scale and see a lower number every other day. At first, I didn’t believe my eyes. The scale must be broken. But no, it seems consistent.

Besides, my clothes are looser. And I look better in them. I feel better in them. Looking in the mirror or at myself in the endless barrage of zoom calls I’m on these days is much less traumatic. Okay, Mr. DeMille, I’m finally ready for my close up.

The reason I give the credit to Corona is she — if indeed she’s a she, but since her name ends in the letter “a,” that’s the assumption I’m making, which is not so much an English language thing as it is Latin or romance languages.

You know, those romantic languages like French or Portuguese that get you ripping your clothes off even when it’s only English spoken with a heavy accent. Sigh…Don’t tell the guys that. This is not the time…

End of kooky romantic linguistic digression.

Okay, now where was I? Oh, yes, I have to give Corona credit because without her lurking right outside my door, there might be no lockdown, or sheltering in place. Without her largess, there would not be such long lines at Trader Joe’s making what used to be a fifteen-minute stop take two hours.

Given that mess at the store, I’m only going about once a week. That means if I buy something and run out, oh, well. I wait a week. Unless it’s toilet paper. Then I have to punt. Fortunately, between my roommate and a dear neighbor friend, our supply is keeping up with the demand.

That’s not been true for chocolate. Knowing how good I am at binging on it, I have been willing, so far, knock on wood, to not buy it. That could change, but since when I do shop, I pick up items for my roommate and a shut-in friend. I’m busy hunting down essentials. Plus it helped that they were out of my favorite kind when last in TJ’s.

Yes, I could claim chocolate as essential. For the above-stated reasons. But so far, I’ve been okay. My appetite has shrunk a bit, possibly due to stress. And COVID-19 is definitely stress on steroids.

Not the kind I would wish on myself or anyone else. Never in a thousand years. But as they say, got lemons, make lemonade. Crape Demon. Sneeze the day.

Counting my blessings.

I must say that it’s nice having a few blessings during this crazy time. I’m grateful that my mom lives in Ohio, which jumped on safety procedures early as did California. She’s sheltering in place in her assisted living, and her spirits are up.

While I would rather meet in person, zoom is free and saves me gas and time driving to the many classes and meetings I attend. We used to watch a quiz show called Hollywood Squares. Now it’s easy to pretend I’m on Hollywood Squares when on a zoom call in Gallery View.

Plus, my computer software lets me change the background. I can be in outer space, on a beach with waves lapping and palm trees swaying gently in the breeze. Or up north with the Aurora Borealis shimmering green lights in the sky behind me. My favorite.

Another blessing sort of — all the pot lucks have moved onto zoom. Another reason I’ve lost weight. No all-you-can-graze banquets. Zoom does not provide food of any kind. You have to bring your own.

This is teaching me self reliance. The opposite of pot luck is making my own food choices — which tend to be healthier given how I’ve been shopping.

And one more thing — it’s harder to get a latte.

That’s where the hidden calories are. The cup looks so innocent. Especially with those lovely hearts and leaves sculpted out of steamed milk on the top.

Lurking under the surface of those pretty drinks are thousands and thousands of calories. Like finless sharks. (insert theme music from Jaws) Especially if they have long names like caramel macchiato.

Boy, could I use one of those right now! But it would go right to my hips and stay there for a gazillion years.

So that begs the question, will Corona be as willing to help me keep the weight off as she was in taking it off initially? Or will it be up to me to follow through with more good choices? I’m guessing the latter.

One final thought — I would gladly gain the weight back and more in exchange for not having this pandemic. Let me be clear about that.

How about you? Any hidden or not so hidden blessings from Ms.Corona? April and Susan Brearley’s spaghetti contest is almost over, so get your posts in quick!

Like Throwing Spaghetti At A Wall

A New Writer’s Prompt with a Reward

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Marilyn Flower writes political humor and satire to delight socially and spiritually conscious folks. She’s a regular columnist for the prison newsletter, Freedom Anywhere, where she writes about faith and prayer. Clowning and improvisation strengthen her resolve during these crazy times. Click here to receive ten templates for creating your next humorous piece.