Homophobia Today

Texas Professor Seeks ‘Cure for Homosexuality’

Admits: ‘Not a Doctor’

“University of Texas at Dallas Prof. Timothy Farage sparked backlash from the school community when he tweeted, ‘Can we at least try to find a cure for homosexuality, especially among men?’

“‘I have nothing against homosexuals. I just was suggesting that we try to find a cure.’

“He said there should be ‘medical research on the causes for homosexuality,’ adding that he’s ‘not a doctor,’ and suggested that such testing could be done on fetuses in the womb.” (Story in MSN News)

What Professor Farage didn’t know was that there are already many effective home remedies for homosexuality. Want proof? Look no further than me, your humble content creator. I use these techniques regularly, and I haven’t fallen madly in love with another man in almost sixteen days!

Fish Tacos — To prevent male homosexuality. Lick around the rim of the taco for 15–20 minutes before eating.

Bananas — To prevent lesbianism. Make sure you eat your bananas in one bite.

Hold Your Breath — Oxygen is an essential element in being gay. No Oxygen = No Homosexuality.

Ivermectin — Using Ivermectin early in the clinical course of homosexuality has been proven to alleviate both ‘gayness’ and tape worms.

Butter Your Asshole — At first this seems counterintuitive, but a buttered asshole will attract flies, which in turn will put off the gays, who are a notoriously clean people. I recommend salted: just in case.

Don’t Shower — For the same reason you should butter your asshole. Also stop brushing your teeth and using deodorant.

Eat a Handful of Dirt Every Time You Think About Big Juicy Cocks — also works with a handful of salt.

Avoid Rainbows — This means staying inside on simultaneously sunny and rainy says, as well as avoiding both Starburst and Skittles.

Believe in QAnon — Nothing says I’m way too busy/crazy to be gay than conducting your own Reddit/Youtube research into whether or not Angela Merkel is Adolf Hitler’s great-granddaughter.

Enjoyed yourself? Then read this Stupid:

Also I found this interesting recently: Harry Seitz