Lifeline Poetry Challenge | 2022
Teen Ages
in a school primer for life
13 Let’s arrive in a new school, already a too tall loner carved from society dressed in clothes styled by her old-school grandma. Thank God for uniforms. Well, maybe not. First time in the lunch line for food, sharing angst thick in the room, a Sister of the Dominican Order, formidable in her black and white habit, lifts the hem of my pleated tartan skirt and asks ‘Why is your skirt so short?’ I never stood in that line again. Surviving on lunches of a bag of chips and a carton of lemonade easily obtained away from those judging skirt length as touching the ground while upon your knees.
14 Good student, not cool. Good in math, sent to be with advanced students, not cool. Good in languages, writing, sports, not cool. Find a group of outliers, girls who run and sweat and play sports. Outliers are cool.
15 Outlier posse girls want to be cool, to belong, and join clubs. Perky hairdos tried on hair that will not obey social norms of the iron, the dryer, the sassy flip at the end. Defies attempts at obligatory fashion trends, still wears the uniform on out-of-uniform days. Lurks in the hallway, cheating on running and sweating with service projects about tantalizing boys through provocative postures cleaning windows, washing cars, rally, rally, rally. Dreaming of inclusion and being cool is exhausting.
16 Almost stop giving a damn. Girl sports stopped because of ‘transportation.’ My mother, who has been driving the sporty girls, is livid and stands in the meeting modeling the absolute best outlier girl cool rebellion. Her words ring from the rafters, and we never forget, even if they do. Foreign languages are cool, writing and not sleeping with the lit teacher is cool, Sister teaching ‘comparative religions’ is intelligent, eloquent, piercing questions cool. Stop giving a damn is cool.
17 Take tests that measure taking tests, apply to colleges, get into Georgetown dreaming of foreign languages, translating at the United Nations. Head in hands, dreams of translating the financial aid processes, translating first-generation college student confusion, translating lack of support from our meager finances, translating lack of a way forward, translating the shame of failure to thrive. The letter forever open on my desk, in silence for opportunities relinquished.
18 Wander the quiet pathways of community college ablaze under the Florida sun, imagining the waves of heat rising as a mystical world of options. Begin foreign languages, then change to something more suitable for a family that can’t afford summer trips to study abroad. Learn to keyboard for journalism, learn to be quick and clever through fencing, learn to follow the stars in astronomy. Find a flyer for women’s volleyball and channel the power of the outlier posse. Find a place and purpose in the mystical world of options.
19 Last chance teen years, teach me what I need to know. I am a maid in the summer and an athlete in the fall, a student with work-study aid, shooting pool with basketball players on the balcony, walking in the cool of the early evening, paths empty, to sit in a room surrounded by stars where dreams are made. Run and jump in the wind and the rain, not giving a damn but for my outlier posse girls who will change the world.
High school and early college in a certain era were tough and invigorating. Life-long lessons and friends made. The best outlier posse gals.
Welcome new followers on this, my journey, to place and purpose. EP McKnight, MEd, Ridha.M.B, Jamario Cantrell, Keith Sonnanburg, A dysfunctional daffodil.
Thank you Sahil Patel for an interesting prompt to remember an interesting time.