Satire

Take Advantage of the New MuddyUm Subliminal Message System to Increase Your Income Exponentially

Have you felt at a loss due to the new MuddyUm earning model? Have you already seen a significant drop in your income since it was put into place? Are you concerned you won’t be able to pay your bills from now on? Then the new services offered by the MuddyUm Subliminal Messaging Corporation are for you.

There has been a lot of unrest recently on MuddyUm. Whereas dissatisfaction wasn’t exactly scant before the most recent earnings algorithm changes, with the update to how earnings are calculated, more and more writers are becoming unhappy. Many have become downright apoplectic over the decrease they’ve seen in their earnings. Here are just a few of the comments we’ve gathered from writers like you who are angry about the changes that MuddyUm has made:

“I can’t believe they’ve done this! They have no idea how long it took some of us to learn to scam the old system. They expect us to learn how to scam a whole new system?”

“I went to great trouble to kidnap several members’ pets and at great risk to myself. They could buy time to watch their precious animals on a live feed with their claps. Now I have to renegotiate.”

“What? I’m expected to actually promote my own work to see a decent sized income? That’s not what I signed up for!”

“What happened to earning passive income? The way it’s supposed to work is that I put in the work upfront by writing the articles. Then I publish them and sit back on the Riviera watching the money roll in! With the changes, I won’t even be able to afford to get to the Riviera!”

Many other writers have likewise expressed anger over the changes, since the techniques they had long relied upon to game MuddyUm’s earning system will no longer work. These techniques ranged from bribery to extortion to hacking and everything in between.

The problem with all of these techniques is that they were formulated based on the clap system and in each case they took years to accomplish. Now that writers are used to a certain income level they aren’t willing to go back to square one and wait for another year or two before they start seeing a return to their stats and earnings.

Enter the MuddyUm Subliminal Message Corporation (MSM Corp). Subliminal messages have been used successfully to influence consumer behavior since the 1950’s. The advances in subliminal technology make those early efforts seem clumsy in comparison. And MSM Corp has developed some truly innovative technology which is far ahead of even what is considered in the industry to be the gold standard for subliminal methods.

The MSM Corp is a way for MuddyUm writers to increase their income exponentially without the need for tedious and time consuming self promotion methods. Now MuddyUm writers can spend time on what they do best, writing without worrying about marketing and still receive a six figure salary yearly.

Using the system is as easy as contacting the company and paying for a plan. The writer then sits back while a Subliminal Message Service Provider inserts subliminal messages into however many stories they chose to “enhance”.

The writer can choose both the length of time and whether they want the messages to be positive (Read this story for 10 minutes and ensure your own success at whatever you put your mind to) or negative messages (Read this story for 10 minutes or disaster will occur). Messages have been created based on the most up to date research conducted by experts in the field of subliminal influence.

Writers can customize their plan based on what best meets their needs and budget. They can choose the valence of the message (positive or negative), the duration of read time (5 minutes to 20 minutes) and the number of stories they which to enhance which can range from 3 to 100 (customers can contact the company to make special arrangements to enhance more than 100). Customers can even choose a different read duration for different stories.

MSM Corp is also developing additional messaging services which will be included in what will be called the Diamond Package. These services will be for the writer looking to make even larger increases in their income.

Users of this service can “buy” non-paying members individually or in blocks of 5 or 10. The members that have been bought will then have a subliminal message that flashes when they log into MuddyUm that instructs them to become a paying member immediately, then directs them to the most recent article written by the buyer. They will be told to read for a designated number of minutes.

Subliminal messages will send the reader from one of the buyer’s stories to another and they won’t be allowed to have any of their time bought by another writer. So the new member’s reading minutes belong exclusively to the writer who bought the individual. That way there will always be the option for the buyer to upgrade by adding reading time to their stories should they so desire.

To use this service, writers must be willing to have the designated reader assigned to a minimum of 100 stories the writer has written. They will be able to change the stories assigned to the reader and reader duration times, once a month, for no additional charge.

MuddyUm writers who are interested in taking advantage of any of the services offered by MSM Corp should follow this link to the dark web. We look forward to helping you reach your income goals so you can attain the lifestyle you’ve been dreaming of.

Haydn Plainsite CEO, MSM Corp.

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