Summary

Gen, dealing with emotional turmoil after an encounter with Kevin, finds solace in the company of her friend and colleague Kent, despite her attempts to avoid Kevin's advances and the complex feelings he evokes.

Abstract

The narrative revolves around Gen, who is in the process of cleansing her apartment and herself following an unsettling episode with Kevin. Despite her efforts to remove his lingering presence, she is haunted by his memory and the scent that reminds her of him. Her routine is disrupted by a text from Kent, inviting her to join him at a cafe. Although initially hesitant, Gen agrees to meet him, seeking a distraction from her thoughts of Kevin. At the cafe, Kent shows concern for Gen's well-being, sensing her distress. The story concludes with Gen receiving a message from Kevin, which she chooses to ignore for the time being, opting instead to enjoy the company of Kent and even indulging in a cigarette, despite having recently quit.

Opinions

Gen is attempting to move past her experience with Kevin through various cleansing rituals, indicating a desire to start anew (tabula rasa).
Kent is portrayed as a reliable and caring friend, providing Gen with support and companionship without pressuring her.
Gen has complex feelings towards Kevin, which include both a physical longing and a conscious decision to avoid his messages.
The act of smoking a cigarette after having quit suggests Gen's vulnerability and the ease with which one can revert to old habits in times of stress.
The narrative implies that Gen values her friendship with Kent, as he is the only person she feels comfortable being around during this emotional period.

Tabula Rasa

It was a calm day; Gen opened the window in her bathroom as she cleaned it. The scent of juniper filled her apartment and still the faint scent of burning grass from Vic’s visit — or maybe she just imagined that. Neither of them understood what her episode with Kevin had been about.

She could still smell him in the apartment, and it had been days ago, so that was imagined. The sheets had been changed multiple times. Several candles had been burned. She had burned sage in the beginning to cleanse and purify her domicile and herself. Now it was just the scent of juniper that filled her apartment.

She got a text, and every time she feared it would be from Kevin, but she still could not stop looking to see who the text was from. Even when she had not been alerted that she had a new message.

Feel like coming to the cafe and keeping me company?

Gen smiled at the invitation from Kent, but he was the only man she had been able to have any strength to resist. He was the only guy that was a really good friend to her, and she did not want to lose him. Plus, he was her colleague, and she did not want that to be an issue in any case.

Cleaning my apartment, know that sounds lame, but it is the truth.

I’m flattered! he texted. But that is not an excuse. I’ll come to your apartment. I know where you live!

She hated that he was not taking no for an answer, but she had to admit just being in the apartment and feeling miserable was not helping either. And worse, when she did not feel miserable, her body still ached for Kevin and what he made her feel. She had not looked at the text that he had sent her — she had taken previews off of her phone, so she would not see what he had said after two days. In two days, if she wanted, she would see what he said.

But for now, she would walk to the cafe, which she had not been to since she fainted when she saw Kevin there. She would walk there in her house slippers and ripped jeans. It was warm enough that she could just wear her tee-shirt.

“Thanks for coming,” Kent said, standing up and hugging her. She then realized she only had on a camisole under her tee-shirt that did not give her much support, as he looked her up and down. “Are you okay?”

She nodded with a soft smile because it was nice outside, and she was happy to be with Kent. Happy that he knew her well enough to sense that something was wrong.

He smiled at her. She knew him well enough to know he did not believe her, but she did not want to talk about it anymore.

She got a new message, and it was Kevin.

Gen turned her phone upside down — she was ready for a new episode.

“Do you have another?” she asked Kent, gesturing to his cigarette.

Like a gentleman, he handed her the pack and lit her cigarette for her.

She had stopped smoking recently, but it was so easy to start again. The clouds of smoke were beautiful and tabula rasa.

This is the nineteenth story in a series. You can read the first one here and the last one here.