Why Men Should Respect Sexually Empowered Women

Death threats, misogyny, and entitlement towards those that don’t deserve it

“Society has a problem with female nudity when it is not packaged for the consumption of male entertainment. Then it becomes confusing.”

— Singer/Songwriter, Erykah Badu

As a man among men, I get the privilege to navigate my day without much trouble. I can wear whatever I want, do whatever I want, and be the man I want to be as long as it’s not illegal.

(Ignoring the fact that I’m black. That’s a topic for another day).

If I want to take off my shirt and reveal my body to the world, you won’t hear much of a fuss. In fact, I’ll either receive praise, some hilarious commentary, or maybe even a meme or two if I’m lucky.

If I want to brag about my sexual conquests, then by golly I can do just that. It will make for a great story when I meet up with the fellas later. It’s going to boost my social status and win me points with the guys.

If I want to go out and have crazy one-night stands, then brag to the world about it, more power to me!

Too bad, women can’t enjoy life the same way without some sexist asshole ruining everything.

Unfortunately, women just don’t have this same luxury of sexual empowerment. As a woman in today’s man-oriented society, it’s all too easy to become disrespected by the people in their life. When they express too much confidence in their sexuality, there’s always someone trying to bring them. Someone, who is so insecure about their self-worth, that they feel the need to threaten violence or slut-shame a woman just to boost their own value.

And that’s messed up. More than anyone else, women have the right to sexual empowerment, and more so, they deserve it.

Women Deserve Respect, Sexual or Otherwise

In a society where there is so much emphasis on appeasing the gaze of a man, why do we hold women to such an impossibly high standard? Society puts a premium on women toning down their sexual confidence yet simultaneously expects them to cater to every single guy that just so happens to look to in their direction.

When women don’t cater to the expectations of society, their very lives are literally at risk. When a woman doesn’t cater to the sexual preference of men or even women, they risk everything. Their reputation is at risk because people will go far out of their way to degrade them. From slut-shaming to outright defamation, nothing is off the table.

Or worse.

We have reached the point that violence has become a normalized response to sexually confident women. When sinister threats of assault and violence have become as normal as breathing, we have a problem.

It never ceases to shock me when my womanly peers share their stories of the many threats they have received. The death threats, the forceful silencing, and promises of harm for simply embracing their confidence. By standing up for their selves and embracing their sexual power, women risk everything.

And that’s pretty messed up.

Society Should Feel Grateful For Sexually Empowered Women

As a male, this isn’t a popular opinion, but I’m just going to say it.

Modern culture needs to respect and appreciate that women are embracing their sexuality. In general, just existing as a woman is a hard job. Between the challenges of motherhood to the social bias surrounding femininity and career ambitions, I can imaging that it can be pretty challenging.

Women, like men, are sexual creatures too — and shouldn’t feel shamed for embracing a natural side of themselves. These same women contribute much to society, regardless of sexual lifestyle. They do the hard work of child-rearing while us guys are off having our usual dick-measuring contest. They are there for men, despite being taken for granted by previous men. They constantly show up and give their all to those that may not return the favor.

No matter what form her sexual confidence may take, there is no justification for violence. Whether it’s her own day-to-day confidence in society or a stripper, nothing justifies a death threat just because she’s not catering to the expectations of others.

If a woman gives her time and attention to you, it’s because you earned her respect. Anything less than that isn’t affection — but fear and insecurity.

When someone deliberately takes time out of their day to shame someone else, that speaks volumes to their level of insecurity. That the lifestyle of another intimidates you that much reveals not only a lack of maturity but a lack of confidence on their part.

In a society that so often decries “love your neighbor”, it’s astounding how quickly we pick and choose who is worthy of that love and respect.

If a woman doesn’t display enough of her sexual confidence, she’s a prude and unworthy of attention.

If she displays too much of her sexual confidence, she’s a slut and deserves to be shamed.

And if any of that sexual confidence doesn’t cater to your attention or preference, then she’s degraded regardless.

It’s ridiculous.

Women were not put on this Earth to please someone else. Their sexual confidence, and the empowerment they draw from it, is up to them.

Whether or not you earned the right to enjoy that confidence is up to you.

More Than Hips And Thighs

Sexual empowerment is more than just a display of physicality — it’s the sexual extension of all aspects.

Emotions. Intelligence. Power. Status. Career. Spiritually. Psychological. And so much more. When people think of sex, we naturally tend to focus on the obvious stuff.

Yeah, we get it — they have boobs and guys have a dick. But it’s deeper than that.

It’s about letting women explore every part of themselves, and more often than not, men are included in that journey. And even if men are not, it’s not about us. Women are not a piece of real estate or a fucking stock where it’s treated as a long-term financial asset with a fluctuating value.

They’re human too and desire to explore every part of that human psyche. That includes the sexual side as well.

Conclusion

Sexually empowerment isn’t just a guy thing — it’s for everyone. Sexual lifestyles are not an absolute, but a multiple-choice response. A response that allows people to sexually live their lives in the ways that suit them best.

I’m a guy, and I have no idea if any of this means anything coming from me.

However, what I do know, is that women deserve better than threats and shaming. As men, our counterparts contribute too much for us to show them that sort of disrespect and worse, not allow them to be more.

Sexual empowerment for women is empowerment for all of us. Because men seek confident women anyway — so let her be confident.

When it comes down to it, it’s not about who has more power — it’s about a mutual respect.

This is the official part two of my previous article on sexual empowerment, which can be found here:

Dedicated to my friend, and really cool human being, Yael Wolfe.

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Dayon Cotton writes dope articles about social issues, life lessons, and advice on how to live a better life.