Successful People Do Not Have Low Self-Esteem
(At least, not anymore)
Oh.
Those dreaded words.
“Low self-esteem.”
Said in hushed tones, pitying, as if the person being talked about has no idea how poorly she thinks of herself.
“If only she could raise her self-esteem, she’d be so successful.”
The sad and annoying part is that it’s kinda true.
Successful people, whether in life, business, relationships, or socially, do not have low self-esteem.
That doesn’t preclude the existence of anxiety, depression, self doubt, or a host of other mental issues that are absolutely legitimate and valid things through which many successful people suffer.
But I’m willing to bet not one of them truly suffers from low self-esteem.
At least, not anymore.
Many successful people started out with crippling doubts, feelings of worthlessness, and other hallmarks of low self-esteem, but they didn’t let it stop them.
What does “low self-esteem” sound like?
“Nothing I do matters.”
If it didn’t, then why would successful people spend time, effort, and energy to create a successful life? They know that what they do has a purpose and meaning for themselves AND for others.
“I’m not good enough.”
Successful people know that they don’t have to be the absolute BEST at what they do, they just have to be better than they were yesterday. The very fact that they ARE successful means they recognize, at least subconsciously, that they are indeed good enough — otherwise nobody would buy their product or service. Nobody would put their trust in them if they weren’t at least good enough.
“Nobody cares, so why should I?”
Successful people don’t attach the worth of their craft to the idea that nobody cares about it. Why should they — or you, for that matter — let the decision on what YOU care about be in the hands of someone else? And, if they did such a thing, they’d no longer be successful. To be successful they’ve got to truly care about what they’re selling.
People with low self-esteem are too focused on damage control to even think about growth and learning.
And where does that leave them when they dream of taking off someday?
None of the characteristics of people with low self-esteem point to long-term success when left unchanged.
The fifteen most common words to describe someone with low self-esteem are as follows:
- Withdrawn/shy/quiet
- Insecure
- Underachieving
- Negative (attitude)
- Unhappy
- Socially inept
- Angry/hostile
- Unmotivated
- Depressed
- Dependent/follower
- Poor self-image
- Non-risk-taker
- Lacks self-confidence
- Poor communication
- Acts out
Read through that list again. I know you probably only skimmed it, possibly looking to see if one of them describes you — or did in the past.
It may sound contrarian, but I believe successful people, at least some of them, all faced one or more of those fifteen descriptors at one point.
But not anymore.
“Don’t Make Mistakes” vs. “Learn From Your Mistakes”
The path to success — or, as I’m calling it for myself, magnificence — is paved on mistakes.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it forever — the only way we’ll ever progress to success is by making mistakes and learning from them.
People with perpetual low self-esteem don’t learn from their mistakes. They just try not to make mistakes instead of embracing the learning experience.
But back to those hushed, pitying tones from earlier.
Raising our self-esteem takes a desire to do so — as well as effort, patience, practice, determination, willpower, and most importantly, resilience.
And infuriatingly, if we want to be successful we can’t exhibit ANY of those fifteen characteristics of people with low self-esteem.
Don’t believe me?
That’s understandable.
We look at successful people and think that they must have days where they’re depressed, or angry, or unmotivated.
But those people aren’t depressed, angry, and unmotivated every day of their lives. Those are their “off” days.
Those days don’t define how they move through life unless they let them.
Having low self-esteem could be costing you success.
What are you going to do about it?
