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Successful Medium Writer Shares What it Takes to Succeed

And if it’s even worth it

The following words are the transcript from my recorded interview with a successful Medium writer named Artie.

Payton: Thank you for coming, I’m sure you’re a very busy man.

Artie: Honestly, not really.

Payton: How often do you write throughout the week?

Artie: Excellent question Payton. If I had to guess, I’d say about twenty to thirty hours a week.

Payton: You must have a real passion for writing then?

Artie: To be honest, not really.

Payton: Then why do you spend so much time doing it?

Artie: Oooo, what a hard-hitting question. I guess I just don’t have anything else to do.

Payton: I thought you had two kids?

Artie: True! I had two kids. But I got rid of them.

Payton: Why?

Artie: Look, at the end of the day, you do what you’ve got to do to succeed.

Payton: How have your writing capabilities and Medium statistics improved since abandoning your two toddlers?

Artie: OOOOO BABY! What a banger question Payton, you’re great at this. You know it’s been four months since I gave them to that sweet old lady on Facebook Marketplace and I’d say nothing has changed.

Payton: So you regret departing from them?

Artie: Man you really keep pushing don’t you? I like it. Your questions have been on point today!

Payton: Ok.

Artie: Sorry, could you repeat the question?

Payton: Do you regret betraying your kids for no reason?

Artie: Hmmm. I don’t think so. It’s nice being able to eat lunch by myself again.

Payton: A bit unorthodox, but I guess it’s working for you. Since you write about twenty hours a week, how many articles are you able to publish a week?

Artie: Duuuuuuuude. I was so not ready for that. But I’d say about three.

Payton: Please stop hyping up my questions, it’s only making this interview longer.

Artie: Sorry buddy, I’m just excited that someone is actually interviewing me!

Payton: It’s fine. Only three articles a week? You must be dedicated to quality then.

Artie: What a great — never mind. I spend most of my writing time scrolling through Meta and Facebook. The only thing that gets me to occasionally focus on writing is the little voice in my head that says, “I'm a worthless piece of trash.” Once that voice gets loud enough, I finally start to write.

Payton: How long does that voice last?

Artie: About half an hour. I like to crank out an article or two during that time.

Payton: So you only spend roughly an hour writing each week?

Artie: If you want to be literal then yes, but those other nineteen hours are a necessary part of the writing process!

Payton: Hmm, sounds like you’re just lazy.

Artie: I’m sorry, what did you just say?

Payton: It sounds like you’re just lazy. You discarded both your kids so you could be a better writer and you can’t even write for more than an hour a week?

Artie: Do you know who I am?

Payton: Artie, right? I thought it was Artholomew for the longest time, but the other day mom corrected me.

Artie: Not only am I Artie, but I’m also a 1x Top Writer in the Business section. Do you know anything about what it takes to be a great writer? Clearly, you don’t, because all of your questions suck.

Payton: I’m just wondering why you got rid of your kids so you could write for one hour a week.

Artie: Because that’s what it takes to be great. Sacrifice and hard work.

Payton: Giving away Jackson and Nora for no reason isn’t really a sacrifice, and we just established you don’t work hard.

Artie: I hate you. I hate you so much. You invite me here to answer a few questions about what my life is like as a writer and all you do is harass me. You’ll never have success on this platform. You’re just a wimpy little boy.

Payton: I’m twenty-six.

Artie: And I’ve earned twenty-six dollars on Medium. You tell me which is better. Nobody cares about you. You’re irrelevant. You probably poop your panties, you rude little runt. You penniless little punk. You fragile little freak. You dinky little dork.

Payton: …

Artie: What are you going to do, cry or something? You sorry little squirt. You’re pathetic.

Payton: You know I’ve been recording this whole interview, right?

Artie: Oh crap, I forgot. You’re not going to tell my mom what I said, are you?

Payton: Of course not. I’m going to show her.

Artie: C’mon man, she’s already upset about losing her two grandbabies. What’s it going to take for you to forgive me?

Payton: Twenty-six dollars.

Artie: Deal. Anyway, Do you have any more questions for me?

Payton: How do you come up with ideas for your articles?

Artie: I plagiarize.

Payton: Thank you for your time.