Transition in Life
The Psychology of Transition — Your Personal Change Management
As someone who has been transitioning between very different industries, knowledge sets, projects, and even countries for over 15 years, I have come to understand that mental agility and resilience are what you first need to work on. Below are some hacks.
Most professional books on transitioning tend to focus on organizational psychology and the strategic communication of an organization undergoing changes. These books usually cater to ‘change management.’ On the other hand, books relating to professionalization that may be targeted at individuals going through changes in their lives are usually less about the specificity of change as a process but rather, focus more on specific actions and preparations. However, transition psychology involves a set of behavioral changes and even a mental reset divorced from tangible and specific actions. What I will do here is bring my understanding of the psychology of change management from an organizational perspective to what it means for the individual. Here are the five main points I have discovered.
- Be willing to live with ambiguity
You might have seen a job ad description saying that a position requires one to be able to operate under ambiguity. What it actually means is that, however much you plan for all possibilities, you must also be willing to accept that your plan could fail. This is because a well-laid plan is usually premised on past experiences rather than on what has not happened. The same is true when it comes to the psychology of transitioning. It is not too different from the psychology of investing or trading stocks — it means that one is able to accept that for every win there is a potential loss. You just have to define what your limits are and how much loss are you willing to put up with. Being willing to live with ambiguity does not mean that you cede entire control of your life to another party or a situation. This brings me to
2. How to maintain control over your choices when living with ambiguity
Feeling helpless over any given situation is a conditioned mindset. This could be because of how we might have encountered constant gaslighting tactics, shifting goalposts exerted by those with authority over us, and even the sense that ‘this is how things are done.’ However, as we become conditioned to accept things as they are, we develop a strange sense of security out of accepting that it is just how it is, and that we just have to grind through. It is also connected to the idea of sunk-cost — after all the time, energy, and even money invested, how could we just call it quits — and what if the other side is even worse than now? The psychology of transition requires us to break out of such thinking and to ask ourselves certain hard questions about our choices, and whether we truly are unable to change something or we merely fear failure.
3. Make a Presentation About Yourself
Over the recent summer, I decided to create a PowerPoint about myself, which includes who I am, where I am, where I want to go, and what had I done so far to get to where I want to be. In other words, I decided to create a presentation about myself. We invest so much time and energy in creating presentations relating to work projects, but rarely have I encountered an individual who does something similar about themselves, except maybe after a crisis hits. Before even making a major decision, do a little presentation about yourself to yourself, or, you can even do a presentation about yourself to another person that you trust, and see how they respond to it. There is nothing special about this, but it will make a world of difference to how you make future decisions. In fact, thanks to doing that, I started writing seriously on Medium.
4. Decide how long you want to stay in the ‘neutral zone’
I borrowed the phrase ‘neutral zone’ from William Bridges’s book “Managing Transitions: Making the Most of Change”. He defined the neutral zone as the “psychological no-man’s land” between an old reality and a new one that may still be in process. Of course, there are certain things you cannot control, especially when the transition process involves another individual or a situation. But you can decide for yourself what you could do for yourself in the meantime, and also if you may just decide that you would like to move on with it, regardless of the other person or situation. The key is to communicate your goals and needs. This is where item 3 comes in handy. But if you are truly unable to make a major move without waiting for the other person, then look for other directions you can move toward, or what you could do to prepare yourself for the final jump. You would be surprised how time flies after that.
5. Do not allow yourself to slip back into the old comfort zone!
This is the hardest to do, especially during the early days when the transition phase is full of hiccups and obstacles. I can completely empathize with this, as I too get frustrated when I have to wait for a long time before I can arrive at some relative certainty about an opportunity, or when I have to jump through too many hoops. During such time, you may be tempted to go back to the way things were, especially if you have not relinquished that past, or if you are sufficiently well-positioned that the status quo is just a tiny step away. Instead, use this downtime by distracting yourself with some small self-improvement activities, a hobby, or if you could afford it, a small holiday. You would be surprised how time away will break you out of the mental torture you put yourself through.
