Stop Writing

Summary

The website content expresses the author's frustration with the quality of writing on the platform, while also promoting their own poetry and Medium membership.

Abstract

The author, who claims to have a vast vocabulary and writing expertise, criticizes the content found on the website, labeling it as nonsensical and lacking in value. They specifically disapprove of listicles, self-referential writing advice, erotic stories, and personal narratives. The author touts their own poetry as the only material of worth on the site and encourages readers to join Medium and subscribe to their work. They also share a link to a related story about a Bosnian man's extreme reaction to his wife's inattention.

Opinions

The author believes their poetry is the only content of merit on the website.
They express disdain for listicles, considering them a crutch for unskilled writers.
Writing about writing is seen as unoriginal and overdone.
The author is critical of erotic content, particularly stories written by men pretending to be women.
Personal narratives are dismissed unless the subject is famous.
The author's opinion on poetry is that it is often poorly executed by others.
They suggest that readers should refrain from writing and instead focus on reading their poetry to understand quality writing.

Everything everyone does on here is wrong and it really pisses me off

Picture by that French guy I always use

I almost wrote a book once.

I have a vocabulary of almost 50,000 words. Insouciance. See? You’ve probably never even heard of the word. It’s very obscure.

No one dares play Boggle with me. The last person I played Boggle with was in a coma for two years before they drowned while being bathed.

Now that I’ve established beyond a reason of doubt that I’m a writing expert, I have something to tell all of you want to be writers. I pay five dollars a month for this website, and all you people do is write nonsense, gobbledygook, poppycock, and stories about butt sex. There’s nothing of value anywhere on this site besides my poetry.

Yet. Once I publish this there will be my poetry and this.

You’ll also want to subscribe so you don’t miss any of my poems about my piece of shit ex. But they sound like they’re about something else because I’m really good at poetry.

What was I talking about before my poetry? Oh! Things I don’t like seeing on this site.

Listicles — You’re probably wondering what a listicle is because you’re fucking stupid. It’s a list you moron. But it’s written to sound like an article. It’s for people not talented enough to write real literature like my poems. Like the one about a kitten that was really about my ex. That parasite. Stop writing those.

Writing about writing — Everyone of you people thinks you’re an expert. Saying stupid stuff like publish at the best time. This isn’t Twitter. Where my ex is probably hitting on skanks. Or you say find your audience. How do you do that? They click on my story. I can’t force them to read mine.

Sex — Men pretending to write as women. No decent woman would ever write all the filth that I’ve seen. Ugh. Prostitutes are never that good looking. I’ve had enough to know. It’s disgusting. Stop. Stop it. Knock it off. No. Stop.

Writing about yourself — Nothing has ever happened to anyone that’s not famous no… Just don’t do it.

Poetry — You people don’t do it right. Your poetry hurts my eyes.

So what should you write?

Nothing. Just read all my poems till you get the hang of it.

HOGAN DONT FORGET KICKER FOR BIDDIES AT MUDDY

Stop Writing

Everything everyone does on here is wrong and it really pisses me off

Bosnian Man Gets Pissed At Wife And Turns House Into a Gravitron

Wife doesn’t answer husband fast enough so he puts house on a turntable