Stop Telling People to Smile So You Can Feel Better
It’s rude!
People don’t owe you smiles.
But you do owe them respect.
In this case, respect would be not interfering in their choices.
I’m not one of those straight-faced serious people. Actually, I’m quite easy to laugh at, and I mix well with people even if it’s the first time we ever talked. I leave room for others to be themselves, and that’s always appreciated.
However, I’ve been told quite a few times to smile. Usually by men. Usually, men who hardly knew me. Usually when discussing something serious, work-related, or important.
‘You look so much prettier when you smile.’
So? Maybe I’m not trying to look pretty; maybe I’m trying to look real. Or do my job well. And my job is not to adorn your reality with my pretty looks. I’m not furniture. I don’t exist to relax you. I have my own life.
But let’s get take things out of the gender context.
When you’re asking someone to smile, you’re doing it to make yourself feel more comfortable. If you’re not ok with something as small as someone not smiling, go get help and change, don’t ask them to change.
Nobody owes you anything, especially not someone you’ve met 2 times before.
I’ve never found anything creepier than asking someone to smile for no reason.
‘You should smile more often.’
Make me smile if you think I should.
Why would I smile? Did you say something funny? Were you nice? Were you cute? Were you interesting? Was the context appropriate? Obviously not; otherwise, I would have already been smiling.
Telling someone what to do is always rude, no matter your intentions.
‘But you look so much happier when you smile.’
Why would I want to look happy all the time? And if you cared about me, why would you want me to fake happiness?
Do you have any idea what I’m going through? Maybe someone died, maybe I had a really hard day, maybe I’m in pain.
And there you are, bothered by your mild discomfort, ready to offer unrequested advice: ‘you should smile more often.’
Stop. Don’t tell people what to do. Regulate your own emotions without their help. Don’t be entitled; no one owes you anything. Grow up.
Oh, and smile. Life is too short for platitudes!
If you enjoyed this story, buy me a coffee!
Thank you for reading until the end, and let’s keep in touch! Subscribe here to get my articles in your inbox.
If you like my stories and want to support me and others or write yourself, come join the Medium community. Sign up for a membership using this link. For only 5$ a month, you get unlimited access to all the stories on Medium, and I also get a small commission. No extra cost to you, and I’d be so grateful!
If you liked this story, you will also like:
