avatarJessica Rabel

Summary

The article discusses the negative impact of consistently saying yes to others due to a fear of not being seen as kind or spiritual, and it offers advice on how to support someone who struggles with setting boundaries.

Abstract

The article "Stop Saying Yes — Your Kindness Is Ruining Your Life" addresses the issue of individuals, particularly those perceived as kind or spiritual, who overcommit by always agreeing to help others. It explains that this behavior often stems from a deeper emotional pain and the fear of guilt or abandonment when saying no. The article suggests that friends and supporters can help by encouraging the expression of disagreements, reassuring the value of the relationship regardless of the individual's availability, and defending

Stop Saying Yes — Your Kindness Is Ruining Your Life

Why you always have too much on your plate and what to do about it

Photo by Svyatoslav Romanov on Unsplash

You are such a sweet person!

I know you won’t mind doing this for me.

I admire that you’re always so willing to help.

Here’s what you should know about your nice friend who always says Yes.

There’s a deeper pain underneath that she’s hiding.

Every time she says No to someone, the waves of guilt hit her so hard that she retracts her opinion.

What can I do to help?

  • Tell her that you want to hear her disagreements
  • Tell her that the fear of abandonment doesn’t apply to your friendship
  • Tell her that she isn’t less of a spiritual person if only accepts one service project a year rather than one every week
  • Stand up for her if she’s being bulldozed by other people
Self Improvement
Short Story
The Shortform
Mental Health
Boundaries
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