The Bad Effect of Jealousy

Never compare yourself to someone else.

Let me tell you something.

I’ve used this example before.

A blonde girl can look at a black girl and think “I wish I had her black and curly hair.” “I wish I had her black skin.” “I wish I had her thick lips.” “I wish I had her beautiful African nose.” “I wish I had her brown, chocolate eyes.”

The black girl can look at a blonde girl and think “I wish I had her blonde and straight hair.” “I wish I had her pale skin.” “I wish I had her small lips.” “I wish I had her beautiful European nose.” “I wish I had her blue, ocean eyes.”

Both of them are beautiful the way they are. They are both unique in their own way. Yet, they want to be one another and feel insecure about how they look. The blonde girl wants to look exotic and the exotic girl wants to look blonde.

It kills you that there is someone prettier than you.

It doesn’t stop there.

We start focusing on other people’s lives.

We think: “God, I wish I had a body like that.” “Man, I wish that was my life.” “I wish I had a perfect relationship like these two.” “I wish I could travel around the world like her/him.”

We scroll down Instagram and see how people are living their life to the fullest. They travel around the world. They are getting married and have children of their own. They adopted a pet. They work from home and you work a dead-end 9–5 jobs that you hate. Our ex has moved on and found someone else, it makes us feel jealous and insecure. They are successful. They have plenty of friends.

You feel left out, you feel like you’re missing out.

When you feel threatened, you feel jealous.

You think:

“Why is this their life, and not my life?”

Stop, stop, stop.

Ask yourself: “Why am I doing this to myself?”

Why do you want to be someone else?

You want to be someone else but remember: There are people who want to be you.

You live in a fantasy of someone else’s life. It’s not your life. You live your life through someone else because you’re uncomfortable with who you are.

You feel jealous because you don’t think you’re good enough.

You feel jealous because you don’t think you’re good enough of blessings in your life. You think you’re unworthy of true love. You don’t believe you can achieve a successful life. You think only selective people are meant to have a successful life without hard work and people like you are doomed for life.

You feel all these things but you don’t do anything about it to change your mindset and attitude.

Many people are uncomfortable in their own skin.

In the end, be proud of your own skin.

Feel comfortable in your own skin.

The more jealous and insecure you are, the more you’ll suffer. Jealousy is bitter, don’t be bitter. Insecurity is torture, don’t torture yourself.

The main cause of jealousy is comparison.

I know what it’s like. I’ve been jealous, too. I would look at other people succeeding in their own lives and I’m thinking “I wish that was my life.”

What you experience is normal.

However, I can dust it off my shoulder quickly. It’s a waste of time to think about other people’s lives and neglect my own life. It’s normal to feel jealous, and it’s more normal if you can shake it off quickly. It’s okay to feel insecure once in a while, you just have to remember to dust it off quickly and get back up on the pedestal where you prioritize yourself first.

People create competition.

There will always be someone prettier than you. There will always be someone more handsome than you. There will always be someone more successful than you. There will always be someone smarter than you. There will always be someone better than you.

So stop bothering it. Stop wasting time focusing on who’s better than you in different fields. It’s a waste of time. It doesn’t make you less worthy.

Admit you’re jealous and insecure.

Tell yourself that it’s okay you feel the way you feel. You have to acknowledge that you’re a jealous and insecure person first. You can’t change for the better if you don’t admit being a jealous and insecure person. This is the first step, and it’s a step that many of us won’t admit because we’re proud of ourselves. We have grandiose self-worth and won’t admit that we’re flawed with jealousy and insecurity.

Observe your thoughts.

Observe your thoughts, because you’re not your thoughts. People identify themselves with their own thoughts but we aren’t our thoughts. We are only the observers of our thoughts. Observe your insecure and jealous behavior and thoughts. Listen to all the daily thousands of thoughts in your head. Are they mostly positive or negative? What is it your insecure and jealous thoughts want? Don’t judge it, just observe it. Don’t feed it, because if you feed it, you make things worse in your mind than it is.

Support people’s success.

The law of the universe says you get what you give back. Give people the support they deserve. Congratulate people on their success. Compliment people on their looks and personality (as long they aren’t selfish, arrogant, and narcissist) Cherish people on their good days and great moments in life. When you cherish people’s success, the universe conspires to bring more success in your life. What goes around comes back around.

Accept you have a unique aura.

Now accept your self-worth without being arrogant. No one has the unique aura, which you have. Your energy is unique. No one has the same energy as you. The world will be boring if everyone were the same, looked the same, sound the same, and act the same. Be proud of being more than an average person. Talk kindly to yourself. Find things you love about yourself, it could be your back or your eye colors. Small or big, it doesn’t matter. Feel blessed to be a talented person.

-

Cherish the precious things around you now.