OUT FOR A PACK OF SMOKES, BACK IN TWO DECADES

Stephen Colbert Waited 17 Years to Deliver a Punchline

Talk about timing

In 2006, on The View, when asked about the possibility of Ivanka posing for Playboy, Trump said, “I don’t think Ivanka would do that, although she does have a very nice figure. I’ve said if Ivanka weren’t my daughter, perhaps I’d be dating her.”

So many of us end up marrying our fathers, but we don’t date them.

I had two dads, a stepdad and a bio-dad. Both dads played important paternal roles in my life. When they were interviewed about whether or not I should pose for Playboy, neither of them said, “I’ve said if Amy weren’t my daughter, perhaps I’d be dating her.”

As a daughter, I can’t believe Trump said perhaps.

Perhaps I would be dating her, he said. Who was too good for whom? Was he out of her league or was she out of his? Was he saying Ivanka was no Melania, Ivana, or that other one? Tiffany’s mom. I think the perhaps in my case would be because I am too much of a pain in the ass. So many of us end up marrying our fathers, but we don’t date them.

Where was I? Yes, Stephen Colbert's joke he had been waiting 17 years to complete. Millions watched as Ivanka said she “accepted” former Attorney General William Barr’s assessment that there was no evidence of sufficient fraud in the 2020 election that could have overturned the results.

Trump definitely wasn’t going to perhaps date Ivanka now. Then Stephen Colbert told a joke that had been hanging in the air for 17 years.

“That must have been a bittersweet moment for the former president,” said Stephen Colbert. “She finally screwed him.”

Writers and humorists everywhere, I say this. If you’re ever in a hurry to get to the punchline, slow down. Timing is everything. Well done, Mr. Colbert.

Thanks to Betsy Denson for editing!

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