A quick tip for dealing with New Relationships.
Plutonic or Romantic. Familial, Professional, or Personal. Singular, or plural. Etc.
Sometimes we don’t realize a VERY IMPORTANT DETAIL about our relationships until it’s ‘too late’ in variations senses of the term and expression…
That the relationship
ISN’T safe
for our mental, emotional, spiritual, energetic, physical, philosophical, intellectual, financial…
… any other variations of the parts that make up the whole …
self…
For the individual as well as the ripple effect …
(This article/story was Previously Entitled: Step One: A Quick tip for dealing with Toxic People. It has been reformatted to ‘fit’ your screen 😜)
Step One: First and foremost…
I know this will be hard for so many people who have been or maybe still are victims of psychological abuse…
STOP Giving Away Too much information … too often, too soon, too much, to the ‘wrong’ people…
Also, stop giving away your trust like it’s free candy. It’s not that you distrust people, but don’t OVER-trust too much, too often, too soon, with the ‘wrong’ people … Everything is relative and requires delicate ever-shifting balance and rebalancing…
On a personal note (as the article in general is . . . ) This has been, and still is, a BIG issue/challenge for myself. *Side note that will make more sense as you keep reading, is that this is still true; however, I am making progress.. As we all hopefully do throughout our lives, time, and ...*
Please do not misunderstand me, I greatly value honesty and I am an incredibly horrible liar -which I actually think is an attribute to be celebrated; nonetheless, it is used as a weapon against me by those who want to control or cause me harm. For your own well-being, pleeeeaase learn how NOT to divulge too much (and often ‘unnecessary’) information — to anyone, until you know beyond a shadow of a doubt that s/he is safe for you, and even then I would still exercise caution. Start slow, start very very slow.
I am one of those overly compulsive truth tellers who provides waaay too much detail for the average person, aaaaand I feel inconsolably horrible if I accidentally leave something out or remember I accidentally changed a detail from memory/recall hazards — it feels like I am lying and I HATE it!
Even though completely innocent and unintentional, because they were forgotten typically minor details — which is common if you talk to anyone who studies the memory and recall like law enforcement and behavioral specialists, I feel not only irrationally irrevocably guilty but also compelled to ‘make it right’. Although this is mostly personality trait, the honesty thing anyway, the guilt is very much (over)trained. Leaving out some details is bound to happen. It’s perfectly natural. Innocent. I mean, how many of us know how many details to keep or toss when recounting an event?
However, the response I have to feel like a horrible irresponsible human being who cannot and should not be trusted, that definitely is not ‘normal’ or innocent. This self-guilt shame game is trained.
Side note:
Leaving out details can be a red flag, for sure! If someone intentionally leaves out important details to be misleading or an ‘omission of truth,’ or any other self-serving & oftentimes selfish, manipulative transgressions, then for sure … Consider yourself forewarned.
However, genuinely leaving out details accidentally, for sake of time or making the point, or what-have-you (as you can tell the specifics of possibilities is a thing for me…), it isn’t manipulative in nature or likely intention.
What’s that quote?
??? ~ Intention is nine — tenths (9/10ths) of the law ~ ???
Pay Attention to INTENTION — yours, everything, and everyone else’s!
Continuing on once again…
Unfortunately, like many things, it was ingrained into me by toxic family members who wanted to use that to their every advantage of mind-games and trickery. Later, it was either reinforced by other toxic relationships throughout my life and/or used to their advantage in a multitude of ways including but not limited to: gaining access to my trust and good nature personally and professionally in every variation possible (nerd mind layers of ripples within the ripples 🤣😇 — too difficult to quickly or easily explain or list. Just know I am an over-thinker to a somewhat, or possibly completely, insane level)…
Anyway, stay tuned. More on the way!
Hello! This is a note from Your Idealistic “W”HolisticNerd ~ Mind. Body. Spirit/Soul. ~
This story/article was gently updated today (Monday, January 22, 2024) and made free. I wanted to share that I have been writing as I can on this platform for a little over 3 years now, and I wanted to express my gratitude for all my followers and supporters out there.
This experience of ‘blogging’ and sharing online has been an incredibly healing process in a multitude of ways. Additionally, it has allowed me to share my passion of writing, life, learning, sharing, connecting…, and I jut hope it has made a healthy happy positive (individually and worldly) difference in someone’s life as well as the world.
If you have read much of anything I write, you likely know that I hugely believe in the ripple effect both on the small and large scale as well as an overlapping one throughout all of time.. (what did I tell you … OVER-THINKER & NERD lol), but what you may or may not know (read What are we responsible for?) is that I hold myself to likely very nearly impossible standards that includes the possible ripple effect … or my possible ripple effect within the world during my lifetime throughout the expanse of our understanding and the variables of … time (Y e a h — try living inside that brain that never turns the bleeeeeep off all day and night every day and night, or nearly. *Also, it is difficult to say such a ‘nice’ thing about myself depending on how that can be intentioned and interpreted, but I have repeatedly checked this out with my hubby and heard it throughout my life.*
Anyway lol — perhaps this shows just a little toooooo much of my inner brain dialog, but I figured … why not 🤷🏻♀️. I feel like I am being vulnerable, and isn’t that not only what life is all about, what writing and experiences and relationsihps are all about, but also what I am striving to ask the rest of the world to consider doing and being with one another as well as themselves?! … (So many brain thoughts) … If vulnerability is good enough for Brené Brown and what she believes it is capable of, then it’ good enough for me!
I believe it can help heal individual self, individual, couple, group, etc. relationships, as well as families, communities, businesses, organizations, counties, towns, cities, Provences, country’s, and continents through out all kinds of business, professional, political, neighborly, service, etc. styles of relationships… Now THAT’s not only a Mouthful! But Also, that’s a purpose!… or something … who knows for sure
Additionally, if I may? A few tips:
To stay informed about who I am, what I write, and when something is published, please see my about page for my educational background, additional info about me, disclaimers, membership and tips for readers, as well as the below information.
For only $5/month or $50/year you can become a member and your membership fee directly supports writers on Medium that you read — it changes people’s lives, including your own!
🙏🏼 If you would like to sign-up for a Medium membership, Please click this LINK as it directly supports me and my writing, HolisticNerd. ***PLEASE KNOW, that if you want to support me with a referral credit, it MUST be via the web and NOT the app.*** You are AwEsOmE & you are Greatly Appreciated! I hope you enjoy Medium and my articles — thank you, Thank you, Thank You! 🙏🏼
Always be sure to please read to the very end in order to enjoy the entire article as well as a REFERENCES SECTION at the end for resources used to support articles formatted in APA style as well as a ‘You might also be interested in’ section of related & recent articles. (Started this more recently)
This is “W”HolisticNerd with hopefully many more creative ways to open your mind, increase your awareness and understanding, and possibly even enlighten you with information you never knew you didn’t know … or maybe you did ;p
❤ With all the Love, Light, Grace, Hopes and Prayers for a Better, Brighter, Happier and Healthier tomorrow, as well as many Blessings to Your Health, Wellness, Happiness, and Well-being. ❤
…
❤ ~ Your Idealistic ‘W’HolisticNerd~ ❤Mind ❤ Body ❤Spirit/Soul ❤ ~ ❤
(Note: Any links/books/etc. mentioned in the article are NOT affiliate links, and I do NOT earn any commission from them.)
