Steal My 5-Step Process To Create The Life Of Your Dreams

A value-driven life is a fulfilled one

Do you feel stressed, short on time, and as if you are always “behind”? If you are feeling unfulfilled and as if you can never “get it all done,” it might be that you are not living in alignment with your values.

Spending most of your time on something other than your priorities is a failure-proof recipe for feeling stressed, unhappy, and overwhelmed.

On the other hand, if you match your time to your values, you reach your goals faster, can navigate low points with more clarity, and feel more fulfilled and at peace.

Instead of trying to live up to other people’s expectations, you live your life based on what brings you joy.

And how do you go from stressed, overwhelmed, and always short on time to relaxed, purpose-driven, and fulfilled?

Here is a 5 step process that I have used with great success to create the life of my dreams. Instead of being a slave to other people’s needs and never-ending demands on my time, I decide which projects to work on and how I structure my days. Ready? Let’s get started.

1. Get Clear About Your Values

Most people are not clear about their values. They don’t take the time to consciously ponder what is most important to them in life. Instead, they base their actions on other people’s expectations the media’s opinions.

However, if you want to live a self-determined life, your first and most crucial step is defining what it is that you want out of life.

Take some time this week and get clear about what how you want to live your life. What is most important to you? Is it family, health, wealth creation? Maybe you value creativity and freedom above all else. Perhaps security and strong social connections are what you care about most.

Check out my article on defining and living your values if you need more guidance for the process:

I recommend that your list of values contains no more than 5–10 entries. Once you have defined your 5–10 personal values, rank them.

Ranking your values will aid in decision-making under pressure. But also small day-to-day decisions will become easier to make once you are clear about what is most important to you in life.

2. Audit Your Time

“What gets managed gets measured” is a famous quote often thrown around in management circles. Tracking your eating habits, spending habits, and how you use your time can give you a more objective view of how you live your life and what values you embody.

The first step in aligning your time with your values is to assess how you are currently spending your hours. Only when you objectively see how you spend your days will you be able to adjust your lifestyle to match your values.

Actions speak louder than words.

You can say again and again that you value family above all else. But if you spend 14 hour days at the office and, as a result, miss family dinners and your son’s soccer games, then you are clearly not living your values.

Pick one week where you measure exactly how you spend your time. You can use a time tracking app, a simple paper journal, or even google calendar. I use a simple notepad on my phone.

How you track your time is not important, only that you do it.

Some people like to set 30-minute intervals and simply note down what they are doing at the moment. I prefer to update my time tracker whenever I start a new activity.

Once you have collected a week’s worth of data, list all the activities you have engaged in and match them according to your priorities. Note that you can not match every activity to your priorities. This is normal and to be expected.

For example, I might list “running,” “writing,” “grocery shopping,” and “reading a book about writing.” I would assign “running” my two top values of health and freedom. “Grocery shopping” wouldn’t get any value assigned.

Once you have completed this step, you can add up how many of your 168 weekly hours you spend on your priorities.

How many hours do you sleep, run errands, watch Netflix, or scroll social media? Do you like what you discover? Most people discover that they spend way less time than they want on activities that align with their highest values and priorities.

And once you clearly see it on paper, you can go about changing it. The next step is to create a time budget.

3. Create A Time Budget

The process for creating a time budget is simple. It works similarly to creating a monetary budget. However, simple does not mean it’s easy.

In fact, for me, this is always the most challenging part of the exercise.

Why?

Because it means being completely honest with myself. I need to commit to planning in vast chunks of time for my highest value activities and deprioritizing other tasks.

Here’s how to do it.

Go through your list of tasks that you jotted down in your time-tracking exercise. Now select only those that you assigned your top 5 personal values to. Then open your calendar and schedule in time for those activities.

Consciously decide how much time you want to devote to your priorities and when you will do so.

For example, suppose your highest value is health. In that case, you would fix time slots where you exercise and design a sleep schedule that allows you to be well-rested. You might also dedicate Sunday afternoons for meal prep, so you don’t have to rely on cafeteria food for lunch at work.

On the other hand, if career success and monetary wealth are your highest priority, you would schedule in time for work first. You would likely schedule less time for exercise and recovery than someone for whom fitness and health are the highest priority.

If you value family above all else, your calendar should reflect that.

Only once you have scheduled sufficient time for your high-priority activities should you schedule in less critical tasks or decide to eliminate them.

This brings us to my next point: the elimination of time-wasting activities.

4. Cut Out Time Wasters

You will likely not need this step if you easily have enough time for your high-priority activities. However, suppose you would like to have more time for your most valuable tasks or just more time to relax and smell the roses.

In that case, you need to find ways to do less valuable jobs more efficiently or cut them out completely.

Take your activity list and identify tasks that don’t match your priorities.

Do you have activities that go against your values?

Try to eliminate them.

Let’s say you value good health but have a habit of getting drunk each Saturday night with your buddies and spending Sundays in bed nursing a hangover.

In that case, you should either reconsider your priorities or find other ways to spend time with your friends.

Another example. Suppose you would like to spend more quality time with your partner but found that you watch Netflix for 2 hours every night. In that case, you should try to cut back on your favorite shows and think about options for date nights instead.

Can you identify activities aligned with your values but you would like to spend less time on?

Try to brainstorm ways to be more efficient in those tasks or find ways to delegate them.

For example, health is my highest value, and I prefer to make healthy food choices. Hence, I cook most meals at home and rarely eat out. This means I spend more time grocery shopping and preparing food than some peers. They simply eat a bun from the bakery for breakfast, lunch at the canteen, and dinner at a restaurant or takeaway.

I wanted to save time going shopping, so I decided to go in the early morning when the shops are mostly empty. I also keep a shopping list to be quick and efficient once I am in the store.

Reserving large chunks of your day for your highest value activities also means saying “no” to other people’s requests that don’t align with your values.

In fact, if you are serious about the process and want to live your life exactly like you want to, you might find yourself saying “no” more than ever.

5. Re-Evaluate Periodically

Planning ahead is one part of a value-driven life. Reviewing your days the second.

It is vital to periodically review your values and time management.

Your priorities might change as you go through life, and your daily schedule should reflect that. For example, when you are in your 20’s and single, you likely have other values than when you are 35, with your wedding being 3 weeks away and your first child on the way.

I review my values and schedule every 6 months -on my birthday in January and again in July. I also do a weekly review and planning session to keep myself focused and accountable.

A weekly review is also an excellent way to assess any misalignments between how I want to live the person I want to be and my daily actions.

It’s Time To Live The Life You Want

Living your life in alignment with your values is not easy.

Societal expectations and your fear of disappointing your family or friends might be holding you back.

However, this life is yours to live. Make time for the things that truly matter to you, and you will feel more fulfilled and successful than ever before.