Stairwell Fireballs
And Quotes That Stick With You
Here’s one I just heard today. It’s from Bird on a Wire with Mel Gibson and Goldie Hawn. He says, “Mr. Wiggly has been on bread and water for five years.” I thought it was funny. I’m about as cultured as my husband is.
I told my husband that the last couple of stories I’ve written about him are getting lots of comments and claps. I don’t even drink anymore. This morning I told him I was going to write about the time he let a ferocious fart rip as we were in a metal stairwell at the University of Maryland. I mean, it hadn’t even stopped steaming out of the cuffs of his pants when he hollered, “Pauline,” in a loud voice that echoed up and down the stairwell the same as his explosive fart had just as two people entered the floor above us — coming down.
We barely got out and ducked into the German Department as they passed us. Jesus, Dennis. He didn’t remember doing it when I told him about it this morning. I even remember the socks they were wearing. In fact, that particular gag is burned indelibly in my memory.
I told his business partner at the Alameda Post that I was going to write about it, too. I might send him a link.
In fact, if I can come up with 25 or so fun facts about my husband, I might publish a book. Don’t cross me.
I suppose that has as much clout as telling people in my old job that if they didn’t do what I said, I’d sit on them. Harold used to like that.
Thanks for reading.