The List
A Conversation with My Husband
Me: Hey, Dennis?
D: What? I’m busy.
Me: Dennis, you’re playing Solitaire.
D: I know. I’m busy.
Me: Well, anyway, can I ask a favor?
D: What?
Me: Can I text you a list of things to pick up at the grocery store tonight after work?
D: I’m in a hurry.
Me: I know. I’ll do it later in the afternoon.
D: What do you want?
Me: Well, milk, we’re almost out.
D: What else?
Me: Some mustard. We used the last of it up the last time we had hotdogs.
D: I didn’t use it. I like mayonnaise.
Me: Well, I used the last of it up.
D: Will you hurry up?
Me: I’m trying here. Why don’t I just text you a list later on?
D: Because then I’ll know which store to go to. We need birdie lettuce, too. Remember to put that on the list.
Me: Okay, I’ll remember. Tell you what. Whatever is on the list, you can get it at Encinal Market, Safeway, or Farmer Joe’s.
D: No, really. I need to know. That way, I can plan my day. Also, you don’t want to go to Safeway at that time of night. Everybody is there and they only have one cashier. Plus, they never have good birdie lettuce.
Me: Then, don’t go to Safeway.
D: Okay, I won’t. Just text me the list.
Me: When are you going to work?
D: When you stop talking to me.
Thanks for reading.
By the way. I told my husband I was going to write this piece. He won’t read it, anyway, so I think I’m safe that he will continue to go to the store for us.
Again, thanks for reading.
Where Dennis works: The Alameda Post Where I work: The Study (no link available) P.S. Dennis did read it. He laughed.