Dear Brother
A Re Birth in Dedication Documentary
Dear Derrick,
I miss you as I always do and always have. I haven’t talked to you in a while so I feel the need to reconnect. As you know, life continues to ever change for me. To date, nothing is the same as it was when you were here. I’m positively different now and haven just turned 30, I feel as if I’ve intrinsically shifted my mindset in to one of dire urgency to actually do something meaningful or necessary with my life.
I feel rushed and panicked and behind the time very much lately. Perhaps it’s a “midlife” crises or more hopefully, a seed of inspiration planted in my heart by the Lord to finally begin on the journey I was designed to fulfill. I don’t know which but it’s keeping me up at night. I’m tired a lot of the time.
But at the very least, It’s now occurred to me that making (or at least trying to) make a difference in the world with my short time here is either a now or never opportunity and it suddenly feels like a must for me….I swear this came out of nowhere shortly after leaving behind my twenties….I have never felt this kind of extreme drive to do anything.
I really and truly feel that once you died, I unknowingly and unwillingly wilted and shed my personality. As time had passed, I had become more self conscious, definitely less happy, more unsatisfied and pessimistic, largely and swiftly anxiety ridden, reclusive, and overall just generally frustrated with who I was. Eventually, I subsided in to living in a complacent, settle for what it is, monotonous, autopilot mindset.
I’ve, as positively everyone has, have questioned what it is that I am to do in and with my life here that would be worthy and something that would truly make me happy and be something I would love to do…..Until now, I hadn’t ever begun to have a clue. I had lived my life like a tumbleweed in the wind ever since I regretfully made my mind up that I just didn’t know what was worth attempting.
I tell you all this because now that you’re gone, perhaps you see that my heart has changed and can be with me as I embark on this unknown, introvert jolting journey I’ve decided to start on. I’m ready to change my mind and my life now.
I started a group called Herculean Life and what it means to me is more than motivation. I want to help people just like me and just like you, feel less uncomfortable in their own skin, learn to care less about what others think of them, inspire them, encourage them, and guide them in to believing in themselves. I want to nurture others in to achieving ever sustainable confidence and remove their self limiting beliefs. I only want to help others and surround myself with people that are on the same journey that I am on.
I feel vulnerable, nervous, and scared and at times want to flee back to my old life, but that’s not what I’ve set out to do. I’m tired of feeling lost and a fraud. I aim to improve my existence on earth and help others do so as well, as we are all only infinitely searching for our unique answers.
If we could help and enlighten others in a beautiful and positive light, we could transform the world.
Life is so short and fragile and I’ve just decided that enveloping myself with unnecessary mental sabotage is simply a waste of a one precious life. I know I am not the only one who struggles here, so I want to bring others with me to hear their stories as well of what it means to live their own version of a Herculean Life.
I want to be a part of and be inspired by other’s transformations in to a happier self and to witness premium potential living across all spectrums of the human soul, body and mind.
This is important to me and I’ve got a long way to improve myself, so I have to begin on my own awakening first. This is day one of my outreach and my documentation of what is to come. I don’t know what to expect of this but if I can help just one person break out of their shell and become the full hearted person they truly are, it would bring me satisfaction beyond any measure I could ever imagine.
Apart from that, perhaps even I could make up for all the time I’ve wasted thus far in my life consuming myself with my own problems. And most importantly, I know that I would have fulfilled the purpose the Lord assigned to me.
SO THIS IS FOR YOU DERRICK.
Herculean Life has been made in your name, in your honor. I dedicate all of the goodness to come from it to you.
Because I couldn’t save you, I am going to do it for others.
Please be with me as I learn what it takes to re invent oneself and pull together a community of support, inspiration, and acceptance. I love you big brother. May you ever live in spirit and live on through your brand.