Music + Festivals

Sorry, You’ve Reached the Recommended Age Limit for Going to Music Festivals

Just because I still can, doesn’t necessarily mean that I should.

Appearing live.

Now on tour.

New concert date announced.

Tickets go on sale at all the usual outlets on Saturday morning at 10am.

It is phrases like this that have tickled my buying bone and fed my addiction to going to see my favourite bands and artists live as long as I can remember. My first show was Sting in 1988 and I detailed it here a few weeks ago

I had been going to concerts for years before I went to my first proper European multi-day music festival. Where I lived, in Vancouver Canada, there were always a few one-day festivals in the summer, but they always seemed to be over just as they were getting going and it was time to go home.

Canada Day (Vancouver/ any July 1 of any year in the 1990s / UBC Thunderbird Stadium). The usual amalgam of Canadian acts from the Barenaked Ladies to Sarah McLachlan, from The Pursuit of Happiness to Kim Mitchell, from the Watchmen to 5440. Breathless coverage on Much Music, the Nation’s Music Station™.

Lollapalooza 1991 (Seattle, WA / King County Fairgrounds). My first real eye-opener of the other side of life. Siouxsie and the Banshees, Living Colour, Henry Rollins, Violent Femmes, Ice T and Body Count and finished off with Jane’s Addiction. My wet behind the ears eye had never seen anything like it.

Lollapalooza 1992 (Vancouver, UBC Thunderbird Stadium). Bigger and bigger and closer to home. After the first one, the second was not to be missed. Ministry, Jesus and Mary Chain, Lush, Pearl Jam, Soundgarden, Red Hot Chili Peppers.

Another Roadside Attraction 1993 (Seabird Island, BC). An attempt at a more intelligent day out, with a focus on environmental, social, and indigenous issues. Hothouse Flowers, World Party, Midnight Oil, and the Tragically Hip.

Lollapalooza 1994 (Cloverdale Fairgrounds, BC). Every last bro in town was there, myself included. So were the Beastie Boys, the Verve, Green Day, A Tribe Called Quest, and Smashing Pumpkins.

And that was it. One day only. No further commitments. In and out like a fiddler’s elbow. Find the car where you left it in the field and go home.

But I always wanted to go to a proper multi-day festival in Europe. One where I’d be able to kill all my favourite bands with one stone, maybe in a place I’d never been. I had a lot to catch up on, at that point I was already in my mid-30s, so I went to a lot of them and in fact, for a while planned my travel around them.

Sziget Island Freedom Festival / Budapest, Hungary / August 2009 / 5 days. Finding my way around on my own in a great city during the day and heading out to the festival grounds in the early afternoon. Snow Patrol, Lily Allen, Manic Street Preachers, Placebo, Primal Scream, Jet, Bloc Party, Faith No More.

Fujirock / Naeba, Japan / July 2010 / 4 days. Mud and rain and cold and endless bowls of Udon Bolognese at an out of season ski resort north of Tokyo. Kula Shaker, the Cribs, John Fogerty, Them Crooked Vultures, Muse, Massive Attack, Third Eye Blind, Ian Brown, Wilco, Foals, LCD Soundsystem.

Summersonic / Osaka, Japan / August 2010 / 2 days. The next weekend, elsewhere in Japan. Less rain and mud, more good music. Stevie Wonder, Jay-Z, Slash, A-Ha, Eels, Byffy Clyro, the Pixies, Richard Ashcroft, Band of Horses.

Roskilde / Copenhagen, Denmark / July 2011 / 1 day. On my way to elsewhere, but first a bit of Danish summer. Bad Religion, Kings of Leon.

Fujirock / Naeba, Japan / August 2011 / 4 days. Back to Japan for one more. No camping in wet tents — got smart and booked an onsen instead. Glasvegas, Kaiser Chiefs, Arctic Monkeys, Faces, Coldplay, Chemical Brothers, Cake, Wilco, Washed Out, Sisters of Mercy.

Corona Capital / Mexico City, Mexico / November 2015 / 2 days. Now on the other side of the world, close enough to where I was living in Colombia by then. Muse, Richard Ashcroft, Psychedelic Furs, the Charlatans, Ryan Adams, Primal Scream

Corona Capital / Mexico City, Mexico / November 2016 / 1 day. Had to go again, CDMX is too good to miss. Pet Shop Boys, Killers, Richard Ashcroft, Band of Horses, Tegan and Sara. Were so worn out by the first day, that we skipped the second day and missed LCD Soundsystem and Suede. Oh well.

Estereo Picnic / Bogota, Colombia / March 2018 / 1 day. One word: muddy. Depeche Mode, Gorillaz, Killers.

In short, the opportunity to see so many of my favourite bands in one place at one time, somewhere far away from home, surrounded by like-minded people who come from all over the world, you can’t put a price on.

They are all good memories. Nothing bad ever happened at any of them. Except, of course, for the torrential rain storm that descended on the camping area the first time I went to Fujirock in 2010. A ski run on the side of an out-of-season ski resort is no place to pitch a tent and expect to have a lovely time of it. That was my first and last festival camping experience and at subsequent ones, I always took pity on those who subjected themselves to that, either by choice or necessity.

Since then, I’ve stopped going to festivals. It’s partly a function of living in parts of the world that have lots of music going on all the time but aren’t a draw for those kinds of events.

But, let’s face it, it’s also partly a function of age. And not wanting to deal with the sheer hassle required to attend these events. I had a good run, but the bloom is off the rose I’m afraid to announce to you all.

Getting tickets is the easy part. Online and all, credit card, show your ID and pick them up at the gate when you get there, Robert is your dad’s brother.

I had been looking at the possibility of going to a festival in Europe somewhere this summer. But I know so few of the bands these days. While I could approach it as a way to be exposed to and entertained by new music, the reality is that I’d be standing around all day waiting for Liam Gallagher to come on. Yes, I know I can show up just for the one show I want to see every day, but that kind of defeats the purpose.

The number of days is off putting. I’m back to basics with one day maximum. The last time at Corona Capital in Mexico City put an end to ever wanting to spend multiple days at a festival grounds again.

The effort required to get to and then traverse the fairgrounds is immense and usually involves a very long walk after you have gotten off the public transport that has gotten you there mid afternoon. The getting out is worse. After the last show of the evening, everyone wants to leave at the same time and everyone wants to have transportation at the same time. I’ve lost interest at that point and just want to go home.

Dealing with lines and then being in a crowd of people, has also lost its lustre. Many of them won’t even know the music that is being played. Or that music is being played.

The food is terrible, the beer is expensive and the T-shirts….well, who needs more T-shirts?

The weather is always a factor, hot or cold, rainy or dry. It was sunny and dry when we arrived at Esterio Picnic in Bogota. Outside the gates were various entrepreneurs selling rubber boots. They knew what was up, or would be up, and we had no idea. They made a killing off our ignorance.

And then there is the bathroom situation. As they say, you are not buying the beer, you are just renting it. I don’t need to experience the sheer terror of an impending physiological need that cannot be satisfied until the 10 people in front of you have had their turn.

Sophie Hannah wrote today about her experience at Primavera Sound in Barcelona, which was one of the festivals I was thinking of going to. Her thoughts on the topic essentially answer any remaining questions I had about whether I should plan attendance at any of the blizzard of options available in Europe the next few months.

So is it over for me? Should I confine myself to one night only concerts? Civilised and with assigned seats for the rawknroll veterans entering their dotage and ideally a roof, should the weather turn inclement?

It’s a fact that there is an expiry date for the point in life at which one should no longer continue staying at hostels while traveling. It came and went for me long ago, thank God. The same now seems to apply to music festivals. It’s a young man’s game out there these days, my music-loving Gen X festival skeptic friends. Conduct yourselves accordingly.